Facing your fears is not an easy feat, as I’m sure you well know. Fears are always based in the past and future. Even if a tiger is chasing you, fear kicks in at the future possibility of death.
Speaking of death, is this not the greatest fear? This is why the ego seeks to control, well, just about everything. This is also why many spiritual traditions have used confronting your own death as a spiritual initiation.
Death is inevitable, in all ways. This is because we live in a reality of cycles of change. We “hang on for dear life” to whatever tangible thing we can, be it material possessions, our beliefs, our daily habits, or our relationships.
Unfortunately, fear makes us vulnerable. It has us willing to give our power away to an outside source that promises life, or even everlasting life after death (such as Heaven). We don’t think too clearly or trust ourselves and the universe when enveloped by fear.
It’s easiest to just not confront those demons, and that little kid inside that is hiding to protect itself.
As the changes on this planet accelerate, we are awakening to the truth of the Void, the space that from the lens of fear seems to be an empty black abyss. This Void, sometimes called “Zero Point” contains ALL possibility. This includes fear, which is asking to be confronted when we go toward creating new possibilities. Over the past couple of weeks, I have been feeling an increased intensity of this “Void” energy. As November approaches, we have an opportunity to uplevel, meaning come into even greater harmony and alignment with the highest and best good and outcomes for all. This is NEW, meaning unknown and being created from the Void. So be compassionate with yourself as you may be experiencing some fear around the new and unknown, and also as you release the comfort of the old.
We start slowly and gently facing our fears. There’s nothing to rush toward or force, and more to be gentle and loving with. The loss, the grief, the trauma is not something to judge but also not something to ignore.
There is freedom available when we simply allow space to notice our fears. We hold the loving space to be honest about any fear that may arise. This comes from a detached perspective, you as the divine witness of it all, even as you notice the palpable experience of the fear. You notice yourself swimming in fear, yet also as the witness of that swimming.
One step at a time, our loving attention opens us to more freedom to go in the direction of our greatest dreams, not without fear, but despite the fear. We are aware of the fear, yet choose love and trust more powerfully than the fear. This means going in the direction of what we want MORE of, not less.
Recently, I had the gift of facing one of my own fears. I have been historically quite afraid of heights. About a month ago, I was in Moab, Utah with our off-road club. We were heading up a trail to a spot known as “Top of the World”. The picture on this post is one of the brave souls at this spot, not me of course. As the four-wheel drive vehicles made their way to the top, I decided to walk the last part up with our dog. I arrived about 10 minutes before everyone else. There I was, just Bailey the dog and me, as I stood about 10 feet from the edge of a cliff. I don’t remember ever being so high up on a cliff before. From cliff to ground is about 3000 feet. My body shook with fear, and I imagined the dog getting off the leash and running straight off the cliff. I breathed and noticed more. I noticed images of me falling off the cliff, and the pull to jump. I flashed on many dreams I’ve had of falling off a cliff. I breathed and noticed more.
I noticed this thought:
This is all an illusion. It is temporary. If I fell off this cliff, I would wake, just as from a dream, to a new place. This was no ordinary thought, but a knowing inside me without doubt, of my eternal nature.
Since this experience, I have been at some places I would normally experience fear of heights. In Arches National Park, I walked along a narrow path aside a drop off that might have normally illicited my fear of heights but did not. My husband began to notice that I wasn’t as afraid of heights. Just last week, we were at Horseshoe Bend in Page, Arizona. From cliff to the Colorado River is a mere 1100 feet. There I was, easily (and mindfully) walking up to the edge, just a couple feet from it. Wow! Right?? Next thing you know I’ll be able to sit and dangle my feet over the edge, as a friend did when we were on that 3000 foot high overhanging cliff in Moab!
So what happened that had me have such a shift, after a lifetime of fear? I actually confronted my fear. I didn’t try to make it go away, I just breathed and noticed. Most often, we will do anything to avoid experiencing our fears. Sometimes that is the most appropriate thing to do. Other times, you have the safe space, be it by yourself or with a loving witness, to actually go there.
I brought up fear of death because it is the most powerful universal fear we all have. You don’t need to go straight to that one. You go where you feel safest to begin. Fear of death has many layers, beyond this lifetime, to the universal experience of feeling separate from Source as we are sent out as Light for the Divine to experience itself, to have something to love. That’s the ultimate one, that we are separate. What did we do so wrong to be so rejected? Forward that to this lifetime, to those core wounds that say we are not enough, we don’t belong, or that we are broken. Hey, I’m just laying it out for you straight up, no pussy-footing around on this one.
Because when is enough enough? We are so comfortable in our illusion of protection, in living the lie that we ARE separate, and that we live on a dead planet to be used to fill ourselves up with material comforts that give us the illusion of stability and permanence when we know deep inside that we can’t take that with us when we die. Death takes on a different meaning when we face our fears and be honest with ourselves that we ARE eternal beings, that we ARE all Divine, each unique yet totally a part of a unified reality where EVERYTHING is GOD in its unending possibilities of expression.
There’s so much fear, I promise you you’ll never be in lack of getting to face it. Your loving attention heals. It is why you are here. All the fear, all the challenges, are here to have you evolve and grow! It’s okay to be honest with yourself and take a look, and also honor where you are ready to do so. You could start by looking at your negative judgments and anger, as they are quite a good indication of fear. Sometimes that’s an easier place to start than fear of death, of losing loved ones, of aging and disease, of grief and sorrow.
Being open to change can be scary! And boy is the world changing fast. Yippee! Who would have thought we’d be so AFRAID of the possibility that life can be fun, joyful, abundant, that we actually CAN create a planet where all beings thrive and are loved, respected and cared for? We are so accustomed to living in fear and looking for what’s bad and wrong that surely this kind of viewpoint is Pollyanna thinking. I think not. This post is about facing fears, not avoiding them and focusing only on positive thinking. Our loving attention, our trust in ourselves and the Divine, gives us the courage to be honest with ourselves and our fears. This attention heals, opening the space for our ability to create from an abundance of possibility instead of from the limits of our fears. It takes commitment and bravery to step outside the fear-based socially agreed upon limitations and go into a knowingness, a Field of possibility, that is beyond the mind, beyond show-me-the-proof, and beyond the scientific method and logic.
Be gentle on yourself, and on the people in your life that you see are in fear. We all cycle through fears. The choice is to notice more when those fears and reactions come up, and to lovingly be there for whatever we are experiencing. Then we are free to choose to trust even more, to open to the new, to go in the direction of seeing all there is to be grateful for and enjoy in this now moment. Maybe the Star Trek phrase, “…to boldly go where no man has gone before” is really about boldly loving and trusting more than anyone has loved and trusted before. All is healed, harmonized, unified and transformed with our loving compassion and attention.
We all want to be our best and brightest selves, to have a joyful abundant life and be of service to the world in a way that is fun and fulfilling.
Those on the conscious path of awakening, who lean into living a spiritual life, read books, take classes, and take on practices like meditation or yoga. We want guidelines, rules and practices that show us the way.
However, no amount of following the rules or seeking knowledge will fulfill the desire inside us that burns brightly, and at other times may feel stomped out completely. This is because no outside source can fulfill our calling to be connected to, in union with, our true divine nature.
Others can support us, guide us, remind us and inspire us, but can’t do it for us.
While immersing in different meditation practices, I remember reading the book, “A Path with Heart: A Guide Through the Perils and Promises of Spiritual Life” by Jack Cornfield. One line struck me that I still remember today:
“Much of spiritual life is self-acceptance, maybe all of it.”
It can be easier to focus our attention outward, to aim toward being a good and right person by practicing being kind, compassionate and loving to others. This is important, powerful and transformative. We are all connected and mirrors for each other.
Human nature is such that it is easy to seek approval from others, and to think that someone knows better than us about how we should live our lives. The path of awakening involves becoming independent and self-empowered, learning the ropes from our parents and teachers, and then diving in on our own.
There are two aspects that lift us up, that truly heal on all levels, that I’d like to share today.
RELEASING SELF-DOUBT: TRUSTING YOURSELF
I’m sure you have been inspired by those who are confident and passionate about what they are up to. What you see in them, even if superficial, is the possibility of trusting yourself and going for your greatest dreams. This means, regardless of anyones’ opinion, that you make YOUR truth, your choices, your unique perspective, the priority.
No one has the answer to life’s biggest questions, and everyone has their opinion, be it backed by science, society, teachers, churches, personal experience, or anything else.
No one can force you to agree with them, even if you walk in a society that agrees with a limited reality that you, yourself, are awakening from.
Ultimately, releasing self-doubt is one of the most powerful aspects of awakening. It is freedom. It is Love.
What would your life look like, feel like, from moment to moment if you trusted yourself? If even in every “mistake”, you chose to trust that you are learning and growing? If you couldn’t get it wrong? If you didn’t compare yourself to anyone else, nor look for approval from anyone?
On the table is trusting yourself. And who is this YOU that you are trusting? It is Divine You, your soul, the YOU that is a spark of the Divine, as we all are. It is the You that can be the loving parent to that parts of you that are afraid and hurt.
Try on for one day putting your hand on your heart and declaring, “In this moment, I trust myself. I trust the Universe.”
No matter what you think, what you say, what you do, for that day you declare, “I trust myself.”
Oh, yes, doubt will come up, and by trusting yourself, you have the opportunity to lovingly notice the doubt, the fears, and address them directly. You give yourself space to love all of you, exactly as you are. It’s not one day, once you have the perfect body, job, relationship, knowledge, spiritual practices, or health. It’s right now, exactly as you are, trusting that all you are experiencing is a catalyst, a big push by yourself and the universe, to claim your power, your beauty, that you are a great gift to this world, exactly as you are right now. Trust yourself, and choices become easier and faster. Trust yourself, and rules soften to acts of loving kindness toward yourself and others, because, after all, we are here to expand Love into all the darkness.
Judgment, like doubt, doesn’t just disappear. Others may say you’ll get to a point where it does, but don’t be fooled. We are judging machines! Just the fact that we live in a physical world, in these amazing physical bodies, puts us in a situation where we judge. In this world, there IS right and wrong. There are plants that are nutritious, and ones that are poisonous. Those directions on Google Maps are, well, usually right. Of course, this mechanistic view of reality is only a piece of who we are, as beings of Light in a physical body. But we must use judgment to function in and understand this world.
Judgment can be charged with emotions when we declare, “This is right,” or, “This is wrong.”
Well, this is where we get ourselves in a bit (or a lot) of trouble. As judging machines, combined with looking for approval and belonging from others, we mistakingly use our ability to understand how to function in a physical world to then judge the shit out of ourselves and others. We can be SO dramatic!
This spirals back to self-trust.
If you trusted yourself and your choices, and owned your mistakes and painful experiences as learning opportunities, judgment would soften its grip. This includes when you notice yourself judging and then judge yourself for it!
I have noticed that my judgment directed towards others actually begins with my own self-judgment. These strict rules of conduct within myself are then projected onto others like a knee-jerk reaction, or I get defensive of their judgment toward me, even if they haven’t said a word. Their judgment is really none of my business, because the truth is that if that person loved themselves without judgment, they wouldn’t project any judgment outward.
I like the word, “discernment”.
It gives a sense of detachment in any situation.
Throughout our day, we are emotionally drained by our judgments. We are constantly judging ourselves and others, and a gift of living a spiritual life is that we begin to notice and interrupt the habit of judgment.
Here’s an example of judgment, and how draining it can be:
Your alarm goes off, and you hit snooze. The judgments, not in your conscious awareness: “I don’t feel like going to work today… I don’t like my job… My boss is an asshole... I hate that I HAVE to work… I said I’d get up early to meditate or exercise and here I am yet again not doing that, I’m so tired and it’s because I’m fat and I can’t believe I ate that last night… Why do I have to be the one to get up early and take care of my partner/children/the dog?... I’m not good enough... I’m not doing it right...”
That’s exhausting, and I’d go back to sleep too!
Starting to notice those habitual judgments gives you freedom to shift out of them in the moment. It’s not about telling yourself you shouldn’t judge, because that’s another judgment, and one you’re not going to win at.
In wanting to be a good person, we often put a band-aid on our judgments. A good person wouldn’t judge others, feel resentment, anger, fear or hurt. I’ll just ignore those things and be positive today. I’ll focus on work and being productive. Ignoring ourselves, we might notice we shop, eat, watch tv, scroll social media, or talk shit about others’ behavior…and judge ourselves for doing so.
Think of judgment as a call to compassion and loving attention.
I like the word "discernment". It gives a sense of detachment from any situation. Choosing to discern vs. judge means that you look at yourself, others, or any situation from the view of the observer. What you're detaching from is that your thoughts, others' thoughts, your body and this physical world, or any of your experiences - past, present or future - define you. When we think these things define us, we are greatly attached and emotionally reactive! Your intention to discern vs. judge uplifts you to a larger part of yourself, the YOU, your soul, that knows you are an eternal being having this temporary experience whose greatest illusion is that you are separate from everything. Discernment makes choices easier, as you are aligned with your heart, your soul, and Divine Guidance. In this space, there is more ease, less attachment, and more flow. The frontal cortex of your brain works better because in that detachment, you are relaxed, so you can see more clearly in any situation, connected to divine intelligence and wisdom.
Self-awareness is a spiritual practice, and one of loving compassionate discernment. This awareness comes from a commitment to creating a safe space TO BE SEEN. We all want to be seen and loved exactly as we are. Filled with judgments, it’s not so safe for YOU to SEE YOU, is it?
With a willingness to release judgment, all those aspects inside us that run away, fight, or hide frozen in a cave, can come nakedly into the light of our loving attention. We’re here to create a world where all are seen, loved, respected, included, thriving and cared for.
This starts with YOU and YOU.
Remember, spiritual practices are exactly that: PRACTICE. There’s no need to judge your practice!
Here is a practice around judgments:
Decide that today you are going to notice your judgments. You might notice one, or you might notice 1000.
When you notice a judgment, you might notice the story that goes along with it that justifies why it is correct, why you should continue to make that thing wrong or bad. This story might include physical proof, based on your experience, science, religion, the news, or well-documented data.
Nonetheless, just think of it as a story.
Let yourself notice the feeling that comes with the judgment. Place a hand to your heart and say, “I love you. Tell me about it. I’m here for you.” Trust whatever you notice. This could be emotions, thoughts, or physical sensations. Imagine you are viewing yourself from outside you, like you would a movie or if you were a bird high in the sky.
This noticing is freeing your energy! No running, no fighting, no hiding!
Next, bring in even more loving compassion and kindness. Imagine that the part of you with that judgment is a hurt child, or an innocent baby. How would you treat them? Would you yell at them, tell them to shut up, console them with toys or food, or hold them in your arms and let them know how much you love them?
This gives you an opportunity to uplift out of judgment, and be honest about your needs in the moment. Judgment is not bad, it just is part of the human deal. Once you let yourself actually notice a judgment, you can lift to seeing it as an opportunity. What is the opportunity? That’s for you to see. It could be love, compassion, forgiveness, tears of release, gratitude, setting boundaries, having more fun, being honest about what you want or need, or admitting a great dream or vision you have.
These opportunities are discernments, not judgments. And they come by releasing the judgment of the judgment, a willingness to be with YOU, exactly as you and are not in this moment.
Phew, what a relief! Let peace, gratitude, love or joy wash over you, because YOU are here to awaken to the FACT that you ARE perfect exactly as you are, perfectly unfolding, perfectly on your path, even those times it’s filled with pain, fear, doubt, or judgments!
by Julianne Kulosa
I wrote this to myself last year, and it popped up on my computer screen for no apparent reason today. It is a conversation with multi-dimensional me. Part of me is the ego, the “little me” who feels separate and must stay in control at all times. It is the creator of doubt, fear, anger, worry and pain, yet its job has been to keep me functional in the dense reality of separation, of forgetting my own divine true nature, which also lies in the heart of every living being.
In this conversation, I see the possibility of the upliftment of the ego, of it becoming a divine partner in sacred union with my true infinite Self.
As I write this, I know that many battles seem external: fighting against viruses, poverty, or the wrong-doers of the world that are neighbors, strangers, family, friends and headline news. What if the battle, and all the new possibilities for an uplifted world, are internal?
The battle cry is for love. Love that fiercely chooses what is in alignment with our personal highest expression and well-being, and with it serves the highest good for all beings everywhere. It is the determination, the commitment, the courage, to say yes to love. The call is compassion, forgiveness and mercy, starting with ourselves. We can choose, time and again, to uplift. As we do, it frees others to do the same, with the promise of all our needs will be cared for when we surrender to the truth of our own unique expression of divinity, the One that is in all of us. Unique yet united, we can call forth the divine support and assistance that we have, in whatever form: human, nature, angels, our divine team, God.
I share this with the intention that you know in your heart that we are all connected, that it contributes to sparking even greater love for yourself, letting judgment give way to accepting the gifts in all of you, letting even your greatest challenges propel you to grow, learn and uplift.
May 7, 2019
You are a gift. I welcome you. What are you teaching me? I open my heart to you. Welcome. I love you. Thank you.
It is a challenge to just BE. I’d rather escape, distract.
How may I serve you, pain?
Please don’t run away from me. Sit with me and invite me to tea or coffee. Please do not try to change or fix me. I am not broken. I feel scared and alone. Can you comfort me? I am tired of trying to run everything. I have no energy left. I need only your love, your inclusion. I will keep screaming until I am heard.
I am listening, beloved. Please teach me, share with me your gracious gifts.
I have spent a lifetime in this place. I am scared, yes, but am open to something new if I know you will take me with you. Please do not forget me. I already feel so alone. I am so tired but I will keep pushing on. I will never stop. I must never stop.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Truly, please, wake up. For my sake. Please do not forsake me. I know I cause pain, but I was given this job for you. And now I need you to love me. To dedicate your life to loving me exactly as I am: all my feelings, all my actions, all my reactions. Please, I am weary, so weary and tired. I only need your love, your faith, your strength and belief that I am truly a part of the All. I truly want to serve you, to celebrate you, to give you reason to be proud of me exactly as I am, with your love and forgiveness.
It is I whom needs your forgiveness. I am so sorry for judging you, for pushing you way, for not understanding the gift that you are. You push me to be a better person, to truly understand what unconditional love is. I will continue to do my best, to love you and honor your gifts and lessons. Truly, I am grateful. Please be patient with me as I strive to sincerely love you evermore, exactly as you are.
I am here.
Return me back into the One.
Give me peace.
Please, I know this is why you are here.
You are my Savior.
You are my Master.
I am weary of being yours.
Love me, just as I am and am not.
by Julianne Kulosa
Affirmations became popular in the late 1980’s with Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”. Over time, they, and the New Age Movement, have gotten a pretty bad rap.
Affirmations are often considered wishful thinking at best, or at worst, a lazy person’s way to try to create what they want while sitting on the couch and taking no action out in the world.
What are Affirmations?
They are repeated thoughts, statements and proclamations. Often defined as “positive”, the truth is, any repeated thought, word, or mantra is an affirmation.
There’s a reason things might not seem to go the way you want them too, despite your best efforts. It’s called your subconscious programming, aka The Matrix. Operating out of your conscious awareness, this programming was created when you were a child. You learned, by watching others, how to think, feel, behave and understand your world.
The brain waves of children are in a lower frequency of consciousness, meaning the electrical activity patterns recorded in the EEG. From about age two to six, children are predominantly in a Theta brain wave state, which can be likened to hypnosis. This means children, with wide open imaginations, are in a superior learning state and highly open to suggestion.
As adults, we spend a vast majority of our days (some say up to 98%) operating from subconscious patterns.
These deeply engrained habits and beliefs about ourselves and the world can easily trump a positive thought here and there.
HOWEVER, there are ways we can shift these automatic ways of being, one being through creating new conscious habits.
How do you know your subconscious is running the show? Take a look at any area of your life where you feel stuck or powerless, where despite your best efforts, you keep seeming to do the same thing, experiencing the same things, over and over.
The Power of Conscious Choice
Affirmations are like any new habit or learning experience. With repetition, the brain is re-wired. How long will it take? Well, you might want to create an affirmation around that, such as, “All is unfolding at the perfect time for my highest good,” or “I trust the process of life,” because if you’ve found yourself often feeling you need to hurry up and get somewhere, and there’s something wrong with you if you’re not there yet, there’s a good chance that’s some of your subconscious programming. Good to notice!
Have faith and patience with your affirmations. Ideally, set aside specific time every day to repeat those affirmations. There are plenty to go around if you’re looking for inspiration, and any words can be used as a mantra during meditation.
Shirts, plaques around the house and sticky notes are awesome, but how often do you actually see and say the words aloud or silently? Purposefully repeating those affirmations daily will benefit you most.
While you might choose a general affirmation to repeat silently, aloud, to yourself in the mirror or to write in journal such as, “I love you,” “All is Well,” or “I am grateful for…,” consider starting to pay more attention to those areas you are feeling stuck. What are most common statements and viewpoints that keep repeating in that area when you notice your thoughts? You can counter those with their opposite, even if at first you might just state, “It’s possible…”
No, you don’t have to believe it at first. You might start with just being open to the possibility. Just repeat, repeat and repeat again. We learn through practice and repetition. Would it be so horrible to repeat consciously for the rest of your life, “I am abundant,” “I am safe and loved,” or “I trust life and the universe”? The worst that could happen is that you notice all the thoughts and beliefs that insist the opposite is true. That noticing gives you power to choose again. What world do you want to live in?
Any positive affirmation is great. A change in one area shifts the whole, so you don’t have to choose 20 affirmations to do a day or feel overwhelmed. An affirmation is not a lazy way to produce change. It is an assertion or declaration about something, and it will affect your choices, actions and responses in the world. Your choosing to habitually state, imagine and feel in present moment terms (“I am” as compared to “I will”) really can assist you in waking up out of the illusion and limitations of the Matrix.
Affirmations are a powerful tool to use in your spiritual awakening process. They aren’t “shoulds” or “have to’s”, but rather a great option, should you be drawn to use them, as you awaken in your unique and perfect way.
Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Depression is one of the most common experiences in spiritual awakening, yet has many interpretations or definitions. It’s a catch-all phrase, “depression”. What does it mean exactly?
It’s different than grief, which is also a part of your process. Depression tends to include low self-esteem and feelings of guilt, powerlessness and helplessness.
Things to Consider:
1. You are Confronting Your Deepest Core Wounds and Awakening
You chose to become more conscious and aware, and with that comes all the patterns, beliefs, trauma and pain that you previously more easily suppressed. Depression can come in waves, without apparent reason, as things bubble up.
A shift in perspective can give you great relief. Instead of thinking something is wrong with you, that you are broken or not enough, or that these old patterns or reactions to life should already be gone, you can look at each unexpected feeling, thought or reaction as another part of you that is finally coming up to your awareness to be seen. Those hidden away dark parts of you are saying, “Thank you! I’m ready to be seen and loved and released back to Source, into Oneness, into the Light!”
Those very thoughts that often have you feel depressed or intensify your depression are actually the core wounds, the buried, hurt, scared and alone parts of yourself that need to come up to be released with your loving attention.
When such fears or negative self-talk arises, don’t believe everything you think!
The ancient Essenes noticed 2500 years ago that our experiences, internally and externally are neutral. They don’t become good or bad until we judge those experiences, until we perceive those experiences through the lens our past experiences and our beliefs. So know that just because you believe something, it doesn’t make it true. It is your free will choice to decide what’s true for you in any moment, or not.
It is so important to practice being gentle with yourself at these times, for if you fight or judge what you are feeling, it only serves to have that part of yourself want to retreat back into the darkness.
I’m adding in this video because it is important to know that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. This is the human condition, regardless of what others may be hiding from your view (or unaware of inside themselves). Your process is about waking up from the illusion of the ego.
Warning: this video is a re-enactment of the ego and is pretty intense. Know that all those thoughts that seem so true are coming into your awareness to give you freedom from them running your life on automatic.
2. Powerful Feelings of Doubt
As you are adjusting to your higher self and true nature, there can be a feeling of great doubt. Part of you knows all is well, connected to a bigger picture and higher truth, yet a powerful doubt is also present, that doubt in yourself and what you are experiencing.
Doubt, spiraling downward into helplessness, self-loathing, guilt and meaninglessness, can feel very out of control. This is the time to be extremely gentle with yourself. Again, remember you are not alone, and many others are going through and have gone through what you are experiencing.
Your doubt can seem much more real and truthful than your “positive” attitudes. Acknowledge that you feel the way you do and are having the experience you are having. Giving yourself space to authentically have those waves of doubt move through, open your heart into the Truth of reality, and then choose that reality more powerfully.
3. A Desire to Isolate Yourself
Solitude is an important aspect of your spiritual awakening. You need time with yourself to connect into your true nature. As your sensitivity raises, you also need space to center, ground and integrate. There is no right or wrong amount of time that you’ll feel a need for solitude, be it hours, days, months or years.
However, this can be sometimes leave you feeling lonely and separate, with a sense of longing for connection with others.
In your solitude, you are connecting. You are remembering and connecting to your true divine nature and your higher self. You are connecting to Source, to the Earth, to your guides, angels and Star Family. At some point, even feeling a connection to nature or divine guides may drop out. This is because you are called to connect to divine YOU within, not because you are alone. The path of awakening truly is about loving yourself.
When you feel alone, you can call upon guides and angels to surround you more closely. You can hold crystals and connect with them for support. You can read others experiences to know you are not alone.
You are never alone. This is the truth.
The collective, meaning the major percentage of people on the planet right now, are not interested in “awakening” and are solidly living in the old paradigm. This split can feel huge and separating. If you can, connect with others such as in group meditations in person, or even on-line.
Solitude is a beautiful and necessary thing, having you get to know yourself in all your many aspects with loving compassion. As you do, you will have a felt experience that you are truly connected to everyone and everything, able to open to that unity, merging and connection more and more.
In the meantime, choose to do things you enjoy. Get some connection with others in a way that lifts you up, be it with friends, in a class, Meetup, church, dog park, or at the grocery store. Find anything that brings you joy in the moment, for as much as you are waking up from the illusion, this planet, is an amazing and fun place to live, and is meant to be a playground for your enjoyment as you take care of it and yourself!
4. Feeling the Collective
Every human is feeling the shift occurring, and the energies that support this shift. Every human is doing their job perfectly, be it the first wave, the second wave (those recently awakening to a greater truth about reality), or the third wave of those grounding the process by holding the density of 3rd dimensional consciousness so that we may more gracefully embody light in the physical.
Simply acknowledging that you are feeling the global collective consciousness can ease your personal challenges. It gives space for you to lighten up on yourself, the stories you tell yourself about why you feel the way you do, or that you should be feeling differently. It is not just you, and you are a compassionate sensitive soul. Give yourself space to take care of yourself and to feel into your ability to sense the collective and then step away from it. The collective viewpoint right now is deep in density, in fear, separation and anger. Knowing this, you can choose to not play in that energy. You always have choice.
Here, in the awareness of the collective, is a great opportunity for relief. Not only can you acknowledge your great intuitive ability and connection to others, you can acknowledge that because of that connection, all that you do, all the inner work, effects the collective. You are being of great contribution to the planet by dealing with your personal stuff. Your willingness to be aware of and release your own inner wounds does this for all people everywhere, making their journeys easier. Just as if you want a world of peace, you be the peace inside of you. Thank you!
5. Feeling Intense Energy Surges
The energy and light assisting you is random and unpredictable. One moment you’re feeling really high, meaning spiritually. You feel that union and connection, sometimes so much that tears flow freely from such love in your heart. The next moment you feel depressed and very low. You’ve just got to know, have faith, that this will pass.
Will it always be like this? No. But there is no need to try to rush the process or think you should be more centered in a peaceful state at all times. Trust your process of awakening. Take care of yourself along the way, doing whatever you can to support where you are in any moment. Trying to make your depression go away because you don’t think you should feel that way isn’t going to assist you. Life is supporting you always. There is a divine plan. This is when trust and faith will assist you most, that this too shall pass and it is an important part of your spiritual awakening, even if you don’t like it or understand it.
It’s time to get used to these random changes in your feelings and prepare for these shifts. Instead of looking for the “why” am I feeling this way, which can lead to the rabbit hole of what’s wrong with you and your life, each time that “depressed” feeling arises, you can trust that it’s just energy you are experiencing. You get to choose how to use that energy, moment by moment. Will it propel you up into more awakening or down into deeper density?
What is there to do about it? Energy is creative, so you might want to use that energy to do something that expresses your creativity. Draw, paint, dance, sing, cook, garden, write a poem, play an instrument. Try something new. Creativity isn’t just in the “art” arena – it is in business, in the sciences, in the day-to-day organization and new solutions you find. Set your intention in the morning: what are you creating today?
Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to uplift you, even if it’s “socially unacceptable”, be it sleep, rest, shorter work hours or a day off, bathe, take a walk, be in nature, meditate, drink more water, or eat cleaner food.
6. Feeling Empty: The Eternal Now Moment and the Void
You asked for it: living in your heart, committed to the path of awakening and to pure divine Love, brings in a feeling of emptiness. It can feel blissful, or stressful, or like depression. Some would say that depression is depressed creativity. This can be challenging when your creative slate feels blank. Life can feel pointless, with no direction, and with little passion, enthusiasm or drive. We are so used to being driven, busy and productive.
That feeling of emptiness is actually a neutral energy of pure potential, pure creativity. It holds all possibilities in this moment. Zero point. Is it no wonder it feels empty? Could you really handle experiencing all dimensions, insights, timelines, and knowledge all at once? Our awakening isn’t in one big burst. We integrate more light and love at a pace our bodies can handle. And yes, sometimes it can just feel empty and meaningless.
Know you are tapping into pure love and light, all and nothing. Peace. There is a peace available here, and that depression has the potential to shift into peacefulness. It is only your interpretation and judgment of what you are experiencing that says otherwise, as you also confront those fears and doubts of your ego and core wounds.
7. You are Shifting, and Thus is Who You Think You Are and What You are Doing With Your Life
As your true divine self comes to the forefront, you know you are here for a reason, a mission, yet may have no idea what that is. Having a meaning, a purpose in life, is so important, and the uncertainty can be extremely challenging. Waking up into New You can be scary and fearful, as anything new and mysterious often is.
Without the “what’s next” in sight, letting go of the outdated, the familiar, the comfortable, can be painful. It’s similar to #4, in that feeling of meaninglessness.
What’s asked of you is to have faith. Trust that as you open to releasing the security of who you thought you were, you are totally supported and taken care of by life. It’s okay that you’re no longer interested in some things, that your path is at a standstill, or that those things you were attached to, be it people, career, interests, might abruptly fall away. You are not your interests, your hobbies, your career or knowledge base, your personality or your past. You certainly are not your physical possessions or your money in the bank.
Ask for support and clarity, from your higher self, your heart, Source, your divine support like your angels and Galactic Family. Your next steps will come, and with greater ease when you trust that this cycle of emptying out is an important part of your path. Again, have faith: New Earth, New You. You are so loved and supported, always! Take this time to listen. Then listen more. Let guidance take as much time as it needs to, and find anyway possible to enjoy your life right now.
8. Dark Night of the Soul and Suicidal Thoughts
Spiritual crisis is a normal part of the spiritual awakening process. It can show up in different and scary ways. This includes suicidal thoughts, and in these moments it’s imperative to find support and know you are not alone.
There may seem no end in sight to the confronting thoughts and feelings that are coming up. Your deepest core wounds arise, traumatic experiences that equate to feeling you are not enough, don’t belong, aren’t important, are bad, broken, alone and separate from everything. This is the illusion you are waking up from, as challenging as it is to experience those thoughts and feelings so strongly. You ARE waking up! The light is coming, and to be able to perceive and accept the light, all of the darkest night, fear, needs to come to your consciousness – to have the light inside of you shined upon it.
Waking up also can be likened to death. You are dying from the personality, the you that says you ARE your personality, and can literally feel like dying. It can also literally feel like going through hell.
The most important thing is to find support.
You are not alone and you are not crazy. You can search the web about spiritual crisis or dark night of the soul. Reach out to loved ones and friends. Pray. Call on your guides and angels. Call a crisis hotline. There is so much support out there, and while you might feel at odds with the traditional psychological model of support, being labeled with various psychological disorders, you might even find support from that perspective too. Your soul knows the way and the universe is here to completely support your process. Be open to however that relief and support shows up for you.
Make a Game Plan
These waves of energy, sometimes feeling like depression, will come again. And that’s okay! If you know this, you can have a plan in place that supports your process. What is happening to you is your process of going from the darkness into the light, or conversely, you could think of it as shining light into the darkness.
Take note of what has you feel centered, grounded, calm, at ease, peaceful and happy. Write it down! This is easiest notice when you are feeling in those states of consciousness, so also reach out for reminders through others, such as loved ones, books, and the web.
There is nothing too small or insignificant that could shift your experience in any moment. A song, a good deed for someone else, a bath, a nap, fresh air and nature, smelling a flower, drinking more water, a massage, a light-hearted video or movie (laughter!), breathing (yes, just noticing your breathing!), a meditation app for your phone, an act of kindness toward another, smiling (just try curling your lips up!), cooking, a phone call, painting or drawing, or simple completed tasks like the laundry.
Take note of any practices you have that you know shift your experience. This could be exercise, be it outdoors, at the gym or in a group class. Note any simple spiritual practices you’ve done that assist you quickly, be it mindfulness meditation, heart-centered practices, group gatherings, or re-framing situations such as asking what would be the most loving positive way to see the situation.
In terms of re-framing, it can be really helpful to look at yourself as if you were looking at a friend, to disengage from your personal experience. If your friend or child, were thinking this way, feeling this way, acting this way, what would you say to them? How would you support them? How would you re-frame their experience in a way that uplifts them, empowers them, or gives them hope and faith?
Here is a wonderful little booklet by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa on a 7-day spiritual cleanse of forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from the heart, knowing truly that others, and YOU, are always doing the best that they or you can given their or your state of consciousness at any given time.
Forgiveness: A Self-Guided Journey of Freedom
You are so divine, so amazing and so brave to be here at this time on Earth! Please take heart that this, too, shall pass, all waves and cycles, spiraling upwards into higher light and vibration more and more. Thank you for your contribution to the planet, for coming here on a very important, wonderful yet challenging mission at this unprecedented time. You deserve to enjoy your life, even during these challenges!
Photo by Will Turner on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Anxiety is a common symptom along the ascension path. It’s particularly easy to find “real world” reasons for feeling anxious, both personally and globally. The first step to easing anxiety, is to become aware of those thoughts that create the feeling. Fears, insecurities and doubts that may be habitual or may be focused toward a particular situation (your finances, relationships, health or state of the world problems) do need to come to light and be seen for what they are: an interpretation or story about yourself and the world. The ego is sly: it can always find proof of something if it is looking for it. At the same time, depending on your state of consciousness at any given time, the world, both inner and outer, shift. One moment you feel like you can’t be with that feeling of anxiety inside, your mind reeling, and after a meditation, exercise, being out in nature, or connecting with a loved one, you feel at ease.
Things To Consider When You Feel Anxiety
1. Everything is Energy
The solar flashes and energy that are supporting the transition into New Earth are becoming stronger and more consistent. Everyone is feeling it, and how they interpret that energy is up to them. Furthermore, as your body shifts to hold more light, it can be a pretty intense ride. It’s natural to feel that energy and want to put a reason to it, to find the problem and solution. It’s also easy to interpret more intense energies, ones that might have you feel buzzy or jittery inside, as nervousness or anxiety. Even excitement can be easily be interpreted as anxiety instead of passion or enthusiasm.
It can be a relief just to remind yourself, “It’s just energy.”
Next, find a way to ground that energy. Stand barefoot on the grass, hug a tree, take a walk in nature, garden, clean, or exercise in any way you enjoy.
I’m reminded of a story from Jack Kornfield. During lunch at a week-long silent meditation retreat, a participant went, well, crazy. He began talking and yelling, jumping on the tables and just being pretty nuts. Jack realized what was happening: this participant was having a lot of energy rise up inside, also known as “kundalini”. He immediately put the man on a different course of rigorous exercise and shifted his diet to denser foods such as meat. This assisted the man in grounding the energy that was rising up in his body a bit more quickly than he could handle.
Instead of pushing through that anxiety or nervous energy, your body might also be asking for rest and sleep. A big part of the ascension process occurs while you are sleeping, giving you time to integrate your growth and increased light. Let yourself rest!
Give yourself space to to play, laugh, dance, sing, make love and have hobbies you enjoy! Or take that action you are being called to do even if you’re feeling anxious, doubtful or insecure about it.
2. You Are a Part of Collective Consciousness
It’s helpful to remind yourself that it’s not just you. Spiritual growth opens your intuitive awareness, that ability to feel outside your own shell. We’ve been trained that we are separate, and as those walls begin to crumble, our innate connection to people and the Earth is experienced more strongly.
It’s important to acknowledge your ability to feel others. We’ve been doing it already, but have built a wall that has given that illusion of separateness. Suddenly being able to more greatly intuit the pulse of the collective, the feelings or thoughts of your loved ones, can be confusing or overwhelming.
It’s easy to think “it’s just you”, as your loved ones may be quite unaware of what they are thinking or feeling.
Acknowledge your growing ability to connect with others, plants, animals and Gaia. You are opening the to the compassion, care and unconditional love inside of you. We all affect each other, quite measurably actually, such as seen in entrainment experiments.
Setting boundaries will assist you in differentiating “you” from others. Spending time alone can give you space to get to know you and you. As you do practices that expand your heart and bring in more light and have you feel centered, you strengthen your ability to know the difference between “your energy” and others. Yes, we are all connected, yet it is in embracing our uniqueness that unity can occur. New Earth isn’t about some kind of intense “group mind” where we are all floating around as One without anything to interact with.
It can be very helpful to set your intention and focus for your day, especially if you are in a service or healing position. If you walk into work without intention, you are open to the twists and turns that the energy of any person coming your way puts out. On the other hand, if you set your energy in the morning with that intention, such as to be of loving service or to be calm and at ease, this keeps you centered, without need to give away your energy or take on the energy of others.
3. Bouncing Back and Forth from 3D to 5D Perspectives
As you try to be a good and right person, you might be finding that what you were taught about reality just isn’t matching to what you’re sensing inside. Yet, you still need and want to function in the traditional world, drive your car, interact with those who aren’t interested in “spiritual awakening”, or pay the bills. Part of you thinks you should be focusing on getting a traditional education or career, make good money, be of service in a way that puts others first and you last, and act a certain way so that others expectations of you are met and so that they feel good when they’re around you. At the same time, you are committed to your spiritual awakening and might be having profound and strange heart-opening and dimensional shifting experiences. You might be drawn to be more authentic, to take care of yourself inside first so that you can shine out your light to the world in service, set boundaries, or take an unconventional heart-inspired path that has no known outcome like success in career or finances.
When challenges around money, health or relationships arise, important decisions need to be made, it’s easy to wonder if the traditional perspective is the correct one to take. You read articles and ask for advice, often solidifying the old reality you are waking up from. This doesn’t have to be an either/or choice. The collective is still primarily in this old reality, and therefore grounded choices do need to be made. Do you need to go to the doctor or is this just an ascension symptom? It’s okay to take both perspectives – if you’re called to go to the doctor, go! You might know you’re done with your current job and are being called to something new, but it’s okay to keep going to that job to be able to pay your bills right now.
Ease up on your process and awakening – it can be a little rocky, up and down, and life paces your process in a way that you can best handle holding more light. Open to the possibility that you are multi-dimensional. This means that you have the ability to shift your consciousness in any moment. One moment you could be communing with nature and talking with the trees, and the next moment be very grounded as you traverse a rocky trail carefully. One moment you are in absolute presence of the bliss of the Now and the next, you need to take care of a time-sensitive task like going to an appointment.
It’s okay to feel tossed around a bit. You’re learning about centering into and opening to your authentic nature! Return to breathing into your heart and know that as your untapped potential is awakening, you’re learning how to navigate it. Your process is about integration. Sometimes it will be sudden changes, endings, shifts, forgetfulness, fogginess and lack of focus or sharp memory recall. Trust that when you really need that focus or memory, like to do your job, it will be there. Have faith that life and the universe, have your back and are supporting you fully, even if it doesn’t look or feel the way you think it should.
4. Opening to New You
Things are changing, inside you and globally, and they’re changing fast. We naturally seek stability and comfort. We are trained to set goals into a future we are creating. During your awakening, you are being asked to let go of what you thought was “you”, and opening to a greater Truth of who you are. Life has a way of assisting you if you resist, as external shifts (in work, home, relationships, health) may force a new perspective for you.
A lot of anxiety can come with the change in your consciousness occurring that is actually such a higher Love Light vibration and a deeper truth about reality. Letting go of who your think you are and your understanding of the world, especially as much of the collective, especially family or friends, still operate in the old density of 3D, can cause a lot of turmoil inside. Do you know what’s true, right or real anymore?
You may be finding yourself at a loss, with old interests falling away yet nothing new showing up. You’re supposed to be active and busy, aren’t you? That active busy feel at odds with an unknown next step could definitely have you feel anxious.
With your new perspective, you might wonder if your loved ones will come with you. If you change, will they still want to hang around with you? The truth is, we never know how long relationships will last or change over time, and this is no different.
Be open, just willing, to acknowledge and experience death. It is part of the great cycle of change, and one most of us don’t want to confront. It’s uncomfortable and the great unknown. Be compassionate about your natural inclination to want to hold onto those things and relationships that you love, and for your desire for stability and things to “get back to normal”. Relax into the knowing that with death always comes the promise of new life.
Study the stages of butterfly, as the caterpillar spends its time wrapped in the darkness of the cocoon.
5. Trauma, Programming and Emotions Bubbling Up
There are few people that get enthusiastic about the idea of their shit coming up. I’m certainly still practicing embracing it. “Woo hoo! There’s another fear, victimization, attachment, insecurity, expectation, belief, automatic reaction, or unresolved experience I get to feel and look at! Ooh, and isn’t it awesome to see how I treat others or myself when I get triggered!” Yeah, a tough one to look forward to, but there it is, asking for your loving attention. It’s been hidden away in the darkness, wanting to return to the One with your loving awareness, your gratitude for its lessons, and your compassion.
This is where setting time aside can really assist you. Once you are going about your day, interacting with others, it can be challenging to give the kind of attention and space that these feelings and memories are asking for. Furthermore, often when things bubble up, you’re in a space where you forgot that what you’re feeling or thinking may not actually be true. A dark cloud can come over you, and as you try to unravel those reactions or feelings, it only serves to solidify them and increase your anxiety. This might be a time to take a break, to put your attention on raising your vibration through any means possible, such as connecting with a friend, watching silly cat videos, taking a walk in nature, getting a massage, drinking more water, completing a needed task like housecleaning or paying bills, doing volunteer work or assisting a friend – anything that feels calming, brings you peace of mind, has you feel good about yourself and life. Yes, it could look like deep breaths or your “spiritual practices”, but sometimes it just means shifting your attention to the good in life and the service that you are to the world, which is plentiful.
By setting aside time to “go there,” you are practicing being able to be aware and loving throughout your day. Setting time aside means starting by doing your practice you are most drawn to right now. Maybe it’s noticing the breath, doing mantras, visualizing, prayer, connecting to your heart, bringing in light and merging with Source and Gaia, calling on divine support, doing yoga, or a myriad of other practices and methods available. You’ve now set the space to be able to address those things that are coming up to be seen and released, not just for yourself but also for the collective. You can now take that loving perspective, hold the space for those things to come up, and see more clearly. Personally, I like to journal. You might like to share with a friend, share with your guides or angels, or use some kind of healing technique on your own or through a practitioner. All you need for your journey is in you and around you, and as you give space to “go there”, the support you need will be right in front of you in that moment.
6. Feeling the Acceleration of the Shift Occurring
It’s just the Shift speeding up, and the Universe is asking you to slow down and center. It’s just energy, and you have choice in how you interpret what it means.
Notice that sped up energy, the thoughts that say you should be doing more, that say you have no time. Notice the habit of pushing through when your call is actually to rest or sleep.
Or, you may want to allow yourself to have this be a challenge you can live up to! The opportunities when the energy and changes are accelerated is an time you can lift up quickly. You can rise to the challenge while you keep your practices in place that keep you centered, grounded and trusting your intuitive guidance.
You have a time-shifting ability you may not be aware of. The ancient Egyptians had a temple devoted to the study of time, from the perspective of how man moves through time. Things can go slower or faster depending on your state of consciousness. You know the “in the zone” feeling when things are flowing and you’re doing what you love – that can make time fly like when you’re doing some artwork. Or when you really want something, enthusiastically but calmly and without attachment – space opens up, time opens up, traffic lights are all green. When you’re feeling anxious, that can make things move quickly yet have things take longer than necessary. I’ve learned that too many times!
Modern science has added another layer to time called “vertical time”. In any given moment, all possibilities exist. Tap into your ability to open to the present moment of vertical time, as compared to the stress and anxiety of living only in horizontal time, always rushing impatiently toward a future or looking back toward what has past. Use your inner natural ability to do so by using your intention, focus in when you slow down into each moment, and choose the possibility of ease, peace, flow and trust in the universe and Divine Plan.
7. Information Overload
This can be both internal and external. As waves of energy and higher frequency come in, you might have insights, guidance, creative ideas and new perspectives appear one after the other. It might feel like there’s so much to remember and do. Creativity is the nature of the universe, and one of the ways to know how creative you actually are is to see all those “unfinished” projects you have – a sign of all those creative ideas!
You are co-creating this New Earth with others. If you have an idea, know that someone else does to. You don’t have to be the one to implement it. Maybe you just plant the seed, or support others in their projects energetically or physically.
Also, know that you don’t need to do everything at once. You can write down your insights, and then just breathe into the moment and do what’s next to be done in this moment, which might be integration through rest and sleep, making dinner, meditating, connecting with others, or being of service out in the world. One step at a time, with cultivating feeling peaceful and centered a priority.
Externally, there is also so much information available more than ever before. You may want to deliberately turn off your phone, stop reading or watching the news, or just take a break from all electronics all together. Getting out into nature is one of the greatest ways to relax into the present moment.
If you have the thought to do something such as stretch, take a walk, meditate, or make that phone call, and think, “I don’t have time!” this might actually be exactly the time to do so.
8. Opening to All Viewpoints and The Void
As your heart opens more and more, you’ll find a desire to respect and honor all viewpoints. It's not that you take them on as your own, but you allow others to have their unique perspectives. Being so open to the new, to change, to different possibilities, might have you feeling like – what the heck do I know anyway? When the dependability of who you thought you were and what you thought reality was starts to break apart, you might wonder what you even have to offer to the world. Furthermore, it can be challenging when you need to make an important decision yet see the validity of different viewpoints.
When your knowledge isn’t fact but merely one possibility, when you know there are so many ways to look at any situation, it can really trigger the insecurity of how you fit in and belong. Someone asks for you advice, and what comes to mind are dozens of ways you could answer their question. There’s not just one correct answer anymore, so what “expertise” do you have to offer anyone? Here’s the cool thing: knowledge really is power, just in a different sense. Being open to so many viewpoints allows you to trust that your mind has taken them all into account and you can now more easily drop into the intuitive, tapped in, higher vibrational intelligence of your heart. Being open might feel empty, yet it is in that emptiness where all pure potential exists.
Being in the present moment in the space of pure love can also feel like a nothingness, an emptiness. It is a sublime space of pure potential, yet with that drive to understand what you’re supposed to be doing, to be productive and responsible, it can be a very uncomfortable space to feel. This is zero point, and just know that each time you experience the present moment fully, you are opening to all possibilities and learning about the true nature of reality and your divine human potential to co-create the world you wish to live in.
Opening to new viewpoints is a wonderful thing! You are embracing diversity and opening your compassionate heart.
In your heart is also your ability to take that mental knowledge, all those perspectives into account, and then use the intelligence of your heart to choose your next step, big or small. You can place your hands on your heart and breathe into your heart, breathing in ease, centering back into the wisdom and intelligence of your heart. This allows better coherence between your heart and your brain, giving you clearer love-based directives.
When you're opening to all viewpoints, let it empower you to most importantly honor your own, to live by your values and trust your choices.
9. Higher Guidance Delivered Through the Ego
I love this one, thanks to Matt Khan. Your soul, your higher self, your guides and angels, all connected to the guidance of Source, are always guiding you toward your highest good, in returning to love, joy and peace.
Let’s say your higher self is supporting you by nudging you to care for your body more. It whispers incessantly, “Eat more vegetables,” or “go for a walk”. What you hear instead it, “Your diet is terrible and you need to lose weight. You have no willpower.” or “You’re so lazy. You really need to get more exercise, loser.”
So each time you have the thought about something that is actually loving guidance to assist you, it only stresses you out and has that anxiety come up that says, “You should be doing more, better, different…” This is because the message from higher guidance is actually being delivered from your ego. Your ego can be kind of harsh and controlling, speaking in rough and bossy tones that just don’t feel good. You might be used to that kind of rough communication, since your parents used it on you as a child to get you into action. As an adult, surely you don’t appreciate being spoken to that way anymore, from a boss, spouse or otherwise.
While your ego really does have your best interest at heart, its controlling nature isn’t serving to motivate you on your spiritual path so much. You can thank your ego, and ask it to be gentler in its communication. When you get that guidance to do something and notice you feel anxious, you can wonder, “If this were a communication from someone who loved me unconditionally just as I am, wasn’t trying to fix me, punish me, or make me feel bad or wrong, what would that communication be?”
You always have choice in how you interpret your feelings and experiences. Just know that you are truly expanding and a part of the shift occurring, and the process you are going through is natural and not always easy. Take care of yourself along your journey. When you feel that anxiety, know it will pass. It’s time to be brave, to take new actions that may seem scary, but do them anyway, for the world needs and is ready for New You!
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Along the spiritual path of Awakening, you are asked to allow uncomfortable painful emotions, beliefs, thoughts and memories to come into your consciousness. This is a part of the healing journey, with many ways to accomplish this task. Furthermore, this path is about authenticity and being awake and aware, choosing your interpretations and responses about reality as opposed to operating from those automatic viewpoints and reactions. Clearing out the old makes way for more Light to come into the body. You may feel like you’ve been doing this for so long – enough already! You might have moments us deep connection, bliss, love, peace or joy, only to find yourself reacting to your life in an automatic way, with impatience, frustration, grief, anxiety or anger.
I’ve spent so many years trying to be “ultra” self-aware, noticing when I’d rather escape than confront my feelings (and then choosing to do so!), or when I react to a situation or loved one in a defensive or offensive way. Then these reactions or automatic behaviors would give me more reason to say, “See, you’re not there yet. You’re not doing it right or good enough.”
Boy, do we take this life so dang seriously! Spirituality is often taken as serious business, set with rules and regulations just like at work, in religion or in proper social etiquette. Give me some room to breathe please! We all want freedom. Freedom to be spontaneously ourselves, doing the best we can, making mistakes along the way, knowing that we are a contribution to this planet and can have fun all along our journey here.
Recently I’ve noticed how, in the journey to let all that stuff come up, to follow a path of love and light, it’s easy to make mountains out of molehills. Simplicity is the call, yet we like to make things quite complicated, going on a search for how deeply our thoughts, feelings or actions, our programming, stories and trauma affect our day-to-day experience.
For me, the call now is to lighten up even more. I know what I’m committed to, and I see myself, everyday, veering from that commitment. Then I’ll want to self-analyze, which can often bring me more deeply into that programming that is “in the way” of my commitment. Why? Because I’m still coming into my power, that power within that is intimately connected with everything. Humility isn’t about saying, “Oh, little old me, I can’t possibility do or be that. I don’t deserve it. I’m not good enough. I don’t want to be egotistical.” Humility is admitting that yes, the separate you that you think you are (aka the ego) is powerless, but inside you is the power of the Divine, of the One that you are always connected to. It’s a willingness to give up that separation and merge with a power greater than just little old separate you. You know, the one that thinks they need to do whatever it takes to make it happen, to work hard and be in control at all times.
So in the name of clearing, it’s easy to “work hard”, to go on a harangue about those things that come up that have us continue habits we know no longer support us or reactions that are based in fear, lack and separation. Don’t get me wrong, it can be very fun, enlightening and entertaining to do so, the best choice in the moment, and it’s okay when you choose to! It can remind you and point you back to that trajectory of where you want to go.
Once you’ve shined the light on those things that have been running you, had the willingness to bring unconditional love to those things, feelings, thoughts and memories that have you feel alone, treated unjustly, traumatized, angry, insignificant, not enough, broken or weak, you can send them back into the Light of Source where they belong, into wholeness and peace.
So you’ve done that, and yet there’s more, more reactions, more programming of how reality is even though you know better, more automatic responses and habits. Why are they still there? Am I doing it wrong? I’d better work harder!
You don’t need to keep going there, thinking, “Oh gosh, I have so much more to do, to confront, to clear, to be aware of, to grow…I’m not “there” yet.” That just is keeping you in a loop of exactly what you’re wanting to “clear” – those fears that keep you separated from your divine spark inside, the one that is free to be empowered and enjoy the ride.
Here’s the thing: you are a creator, totally empowered. You are a Master who came here in this time to be a part of creating New Earth. Therefore, you’ve got what it takes, baby! You’ve got this, whether you believe it or not. You’re doing it exactly as you need to, and it’s all unfolding just right.
I noticed the other day a friend talking about his challenges around making money and having financial abundance. He went on about his focus of thought, where his attention was and how he was interpreting reality, his family dynamics and money conversation within his family, etc. It was funny, because he talked like those things were “running” him in his subconscious, yet he was clearly actually consciously aware of it. I saw how I do that too, think that things are running me unconsciously even as I’m very aware of them!
This is all wonderful stuff, to bring things into your awareness. Yet I realized there comes a point when it’s time to let it go. Yeah, yeah, there it is again, and I don’t need to go there! In the past, I would have almost said that blasphemy – if it is presenting in your reality, you need to go there. But do you? And if so, how?
I’ve taken on a simple practice that you might want to try. If you find yourself going on a harangue about something, you could just Lighten Up! You can use that God-given power of yours, the one that isn’t trying to fix anything or obliterate the “bad” from your reality, but the one that is unconditionally loving and is choosing what reality they are living in.
You notice that thought, interpretation of what’s happening, and say, “Thank you, but no.”
That’s it, “Thank you, but no.” You’re not pushing down or escaping from the thought or feeling that has arisen – you’ve already just noticed it with a commitment to loving whatever arises, even when it doesn't feel good. It’s not a heart-breaking rejection or emotionally charged judgment. It’s choosing, like when the waiter asks, “Would you like dessert?” and you respond, “Thank you, but no.” (Sure you could go on a run with that one, as you might notice the idea of dessert sounds yummy, and in come the thoughts about your diet, health, ideal weight, social standards of beauty, your values around eating and your commitment….but in that restaurant in that moment, you are clear about what you want and don’t want, and you simply say to the waiter, “Thank you, but no.”)
Recently, I noticed I felt anxious in my tummy, that solar plexus area. I went there, realizing it was because I was about to teach a cardio kickboxing class, something I hadn’t done in over a decade. Will I be good enough? Will they like it, me, the workout, the music? Will they have fun and enjoy it? Will it be too easy, too hard, to fast, to slow? I noticed I do that with another type of workout I teach, Nia Technique. I noticed that feeling of not good enough, of never enough, in my teaching, and then my thoughts starting to trickle out into other aspects of me and my life, like how my clothing is never quite right, cute enough, fit just right, etc.
I saw how there it was yet again: never good enough, I’m not enough, that feeling of separation and not enough. That deepest darkest core wound, “I’m not enough.” Here’s the thing: that awareness alone, something I’ve been delving into for a long time, wasn’t actually serving to alleviate that anxiety, to align me with a greater Truth.
So, instead of my usual, “You need to go there, with loving attention. This wants your loving attention,” I said, “Thank you, but no.” I like to add a little wave with my right hand near my head (real or imaginary), waving that out and away, back to the Light of Source. You can do this for anything – when you notice even deeper programming, trauma, or timeloops.
What happened next was so natural and easy. Present, here and now, space opened up. I thought and wrote spontaneously, (and I quote from my journal), “I choose unity. Thank you for pointing out that I still have feelings of scarcity and separation, and no, I don’t need that anymore. I choose connection. So when I go out into the world, through teaching, writing or whatever, I CONNECT with others, I share authentically my experience and self-expression, knowing our hearts touch because we are all connected. I choose to unify and merge with Mother Earth and Source God, the Divine in me, One with All. I am safe to allow this connection. In my trust and safety, I allow others to confront their fear and separation, and to open their hearts to connecting and merging. Yes! All as an expression of the One Divine Source Love!”
Gratitude washed over me, in so many specific ways, and the goal of teaching became to have FUN! And then I noticed: that anxiety in my solar plexus was completely gone.
Here’s what I want you to get: Yes, that self-awareness was there, that ability to notice thoughts and feelings, but the shift in my perspective didn’t come from working hard to put all those high vibe practices and perspectives into place. Thank you to those thoughts and feelings for coming up of course, a perfect part of the process as they release out, returning to the Light. My shift came from the willingness to stand in my power and make the simple command: “Thank you, but no.” Our souls already know the way, we just need to admit it can be easier than we think and relax a little.
Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Julianne is a Spiritual Intuitive and Guide, empowering others to live a life of miracles and magic through trusting the power of love.
Look around and you see bad things happening to good people, and good things happening to bad people. It’s madness!
We know you’re one of the good peeps. So why would you be having a hard day? Did the universe punish you yet again for your bad deeds? Well, you know, what comes around goes around. “What you sow, so shall you reap.” It’s as simple as the law of causality (cause and effect) in physics, or the law of attraction, right? Of course, karma isn’t just from this lifetime. Those past lives are coming back to get you, too. And, worst of all, did I mention that it looks like it’s gonna be coal again for you this Christmas?
Those of you who want to look to blame your troubles on your past naughty deeds will be sorely disappointed by this blog. Please put down your phone or leave your computer now and proceed to do 10 Hail Mary’s and 20 Our Father’s, and God might consider only punishing you for your original sin.
If you still believe in karma, I am certain the universe is happily obliging you by giving you evidence of it. You are looking for that evidence after all, yes? I’m honestly not here to take that away from you and try to make you change your mind. Karma goes both ways, so if the idea of it encourages you to be a kinder and more loving person, go for it, seriously!
I am here to offer you a way off the “karmic wheel” for good, should you be interested.
New Earth is a dimension we can access through our state of consciousness at any time. In New Earth, karma no longer exists. Karma only exists in the old ways of thinking about reality and spirituality that we continue to re-live.
Those of you that might at least ponder the possibility that you have reincarnated many times on this planet need to understand that the way we’ve thought about the cycle of death and rebirth, that karmic wheel, can come to an end now, if you choose.
What is available to experience consciously now is a multi-dimensional state of being in which reward and punishment don’t come out to play.
So what’s changed?
Karma is a viewpoint about the nature of reality. It served us in the past. It called us to be kinder, gentler and more caring. “Do unto others…” The lessons learned from our karmic past can now be cleared through the power of divine light and love. We have an opportunity now to choose to embody divine consciousness as humans walking the earth.
We now have a new call, and many of us are experiencing this. There’s got to be a better way. The call is to love, to express love from our hearts outward, letting love guide our decisions and actions. This isn’t so that we can finally judge ourselves as good and right humans. This call is given to us so that we may step into and embody the love that we naturally are. No longer are there separate compartments for our heads and our hearts, or for the good and the bad. Love, the energy that creates worlds, asks us to trust that all is unfolding perfectly. Even when we are frustrated, worried, angry or fearful, we declare that this, too, is a part of our unfolding.
Let’s get to the bottom line question: How can I apply this in my everyday life?
1. Simply being open to the possibility that the universe, God or physical/spiritual laws do not seek to reward nor punish will begin to change the quality of your experiences.
2. Act as if everything is your ally, teacher and is here for your growth and highest good. Whatever is occurring, whatever you have done or don’t do, whatever someone is doing to you, is not your fault. Instead, you can take full responsibility for creating a reality in which you are having all different kinds of experiences that are ultimately bringing you more in touch with your true divine nature, or showing you ways you blind yourself from your true divine nature.
3. Become aware of ways you habitually blame yourself or others for negative outcomes. With blame comes judgment. If you’re good, you are rewarded. If you’re bad, you must be punished. Notice when others blame you – and remember that they, too, are simply stuck in the old ways of operating in the world. Responsibility is different than blame.
4. Re-frame the LAW OF ATTRACTION. If things aren’t going your way, it doesn’t mean you did something to create that. You weren’t in a “lower vibration” or being a “match” for the bad stuff. The law of attraction is a reflection not just of the vibration or call of your “lower self”, your ego, but also of your higher self, your soul’s calling. You might intend, feel with all your being, and have your complete attention on the manifestation of your desires here and now, and still – shit hits the fan.
Why? Because your soul knows the best way to manifest your highest, purest desires, and this yucky smelly crap around is actually the best way to propel you into that direction. That doesn’t mean you have to like it. It does mean you can re-frame your experiences here and now and give yourself space to breathe, be gentler on yourself, and trust yourself. Take heart that all is unfolding in the direction you need to go right now, leading the way to the next step to take.
5. Being a divine human does not mean being free from pain. Pain and pleasure, love and fear, doubt and trust, are all a part of the experience of being human. Our divine nature reminds us that the chaos and suffering of humanity is a call to love and embrace all that we are in this moment. This is why loving the self, choosing actions, thoughts and deeds that are an expression of your authentic self and desires, is the focus now. By loving from within, confronting our own suffering, we become the light that assists and guides others, rather than getting tossed about by the pain and suffering occurring in our loved ones and the world.
6. Try on that there’s nowhere to get to. You are not some day, one day, going to arrive. Rather than taking this idea and making it reason to “give up”, make it reason for you to be more loving and compassionate today, right now. You made it! You’re here! Every time you choose to go in the direction of trusting your process, of giving yourself gentle attention, of assisting others with your loving presence and actions, you more deeply arrive to the magic and miracles possible right now.
You break the ties to karma by declaring that you do not need reward or punishment in order to be guided toward the direction of acting in a way that is the most loving, authentic, and joy-filled expression of awesomely Divine YOU.
by Julianne Kulosa
Julianne is a Spiritual Intuitive and WayShower, guiding the way to living a life of miracles and magic through trusting the power of love.
Having a magical life isn’t just for those who cast spells, dress in gypsy garb, channel messages from beyond or seem to suddenly manifest their dream job, home or relationship.
In fact, you’re able to have a magical life simply because it is the nature of who you are. It’s all a matter of what you choose to believe and put your attention on. Magic arises from a state of consciousness where anything is possible.
The world of magic will come out to play when you are willing to play with it. You deserve all the fun and joy you can imagine you can have!
Life calls you all the time to play in the world of magic and miracles. Want to hear its call more loudly? Try some of these!
75 WAYS TO HAVE A MORE MAGICAL LIFE
1. Use your intention, like you’re a magician or high priestess using words of power.
“I call forth magic and miracles manifested for the highest good of all. So it is!”
(Make some cool hand movements while you do it.)
2. Sing or whistle back to the birds and imagine you’re having a conversation.
3. Watch the clouds and let them show you shapes and images.
5. Bless your food and water. Thank the Earth and Kingdoms for their nourishment and infuse your
food and water with the highest light.
6. Put crystals, flowers or essential oils in your bath water.
7. Pick up some angel or tarot cards and choose a card for the day each morning.
8. Upon waking, say, “Thank you for this day! May I be blessed with more love and joy than ever before!”
9. Take a walk and ask the universe a question. Notice the first 3 things you see that catch your
attention or seem out of place. There is your answer!
10. When someone upsets you, say to yourself, “Thank you wise teacher! May you be blessed.
Thank you for pointing me in the direction of things I need to love more within myself!”
11. Open your arms wide to the sun and imagine its light filling every cell of your being.
12. Ask the universe a question, write it down and put it under your pillow, knowing you will receive
the answer in a dream.
13. Stop what you’re doing, take some deep breaths and notice the beauty around you.
14. Call on your angels to fill your room and home with light, love and protection.
15. Meditate with the words, “I AM.”
16. Hug a tree.
17. Smile and say hello to the check-out clerk. Give them a compliment. Make eye contact.
18. Imagine that anything you need or want is right around you. Eyes open, bring your eyes to
that invisible spot that contains what you want and imagine a string connecting you with it.
19. Put on a song you love and dance, fully self-expressed, like if someone was watching you,
they’d think you’re crazy!
20. Talk to your car. Tell it how much you love and appreciate it. Find its sweet spot and rub it –
like on the dashboard above the steering wheel.
21. Give all your attention to someone you want more attention from. Be interested only in getting
to know and understand them more.
22. When paying bills, say, “Thank you! Thank you for showing me that I am filled with prosperity
by giving me a service and trusting I will pay for it afterward!”
23. Get a tattoo that reminds you of something you love and brings you joy each time you see it.
24. Assume you can see angels and fairies. Look for flashes of light at the edges of your vision.
25. Declare that everything in your life has brought you to this most magical and powerful moment
26. Buy yourself your favorite flowers.
27. Stand or walk barefoot on the earth.
28. Draw a mandala.
29. Catch snowflakes on your tongue.
30. Ask the “parking angels” to show you where your parking spot it is. Imagine yourself
parking your car in the perfect spot, and then just follow any inclination of what
direction to drive to get to it.
31. Make a wish on a shooting star.
32. Write yourself a love letter, expressing all the things you love and appreciate about yourself. Mail it!
33. Pay for the toll of the person behind you at a toll bridge.
34. Howl at the full moon.
35. Ask a question and then open any book to a random page and read what your eyes are first drawn to.
36. Get an intuitive reading, knowing that person is just reminding you and affirming what you
37. Give away any the clothes that don’t make you feel good and beautiful.
38. Wear fairy wings and grant people wishes.
39. When you have a sudden thought to do something, like make a call or take a walk, do it right now!
40. Be the first one to apologize after an argument.
41. Write down 10 things you are grateful for each morning.
42. Create an altar that brings you joy.
43. Imagine that someone you want to talk to, a deceased loved one or famous person,
is sitting across from you at the table. Ask them anything you want.
44. Infuse your money with love and imagine giving that love to the person you hand it to.
45. Take a class on something that looks fun and for no other reason.
46. Ask your body what would nourish it most when choosing what to eat.
47. Put a quartz crystal in water on a windowsill in sunlight for a few hours. Drink it.
48. Tidy Up: Keep only what brings you joy in your home.
49. Strip down and run into the ocean or jump into a lake.
50. Watch one of your favorite comedies.
51. Get an astrology reading.
52. Wonder if something you don’t believe in isn’t real because you don’t believe.
53. Write down something you’re ready to let go of and burn the paper.
54. Make a list of all the extraordinary experiences you’ve ever had.
55. Make a vision board and watch your dreams manifest.
56. Call up a friend just to say hello and find out what they’re up to and how they’re doing.
57. Play outside in a summer rainstorm.
58. Go for a drive with no specific destination in mind. Take exits that look interesting.
59. Plan your dream vacation.
60. Have a picnic.
61. Stop watching or reading mainstream media and news, even just for a week.
62. Sing along with abandon to your favorite song.
63. Imagine ahead of time how well a situation is going to go.
64. Watch a sunrise or sunset.
65. Blow bubbles!
66. Sage your house, blessing it with love and light.
67. Plant crystals into the earth.
68. Wear your favorite jewelry no matter the occasion.
69. Put some chimes outside, a sound you love.
70. Walk a labyrinth.
71. Cat videos!
72. Smell a flower while out on a walk.
73. Turn off the television, phone and computer, and have a conversation with a loved one with
74. Simply say, “Thank you!” when given a compliment.
75. Choose to believe in magic.
by Julianne Kulosa
Julianne is a Spiritual Intuitive and WayShower, guiding the way to living a life of miracles and magic through trusting the power of love.
Ah, love. It’s something everyone wants more of. How do you know when you are accessing divine love or just that regular yummy but strings-attached conditional love?
First we’ll look at what divine love is not.
Anyone raised in a traditional religion was taught that there are certain behaviors you must exhibit and rules you must follow in order to be in the good graces of God and get to that divine place, be it Heaven, Eden or Nirvana.
That’s far from divine love. Anytime you have the “I will love you if…” experience, from a loved one or yourself, you know you are not experiencing divine love.
There is a very specific reason I was drawn to becoming an expert at connecting to my client’s angels, archangels, ascended masters and divine guides. Calling upon their angels, that person is immediately enveloped with divine love. We all know that feeling well, for it is who we are, in our hearts and our divine higher self.
Divine love says, “I love you. How may I serve you?”
It is unwavering. No action, thought, feeling or experience can change the timeless stream of pure acceptance, peace and love that flows through the higher realms of angels and the true divine self.
Love is the nature of the universe. Divine love and the universe are neutral, with that no-strings-attached attitude. The universe gives you more of what you have your attention on and call forth, without question or judgment.
How do you know when you’re connecting to your higher self, to your divine intuition, or to your angels?
Everyone experiences this uniquely, but there are some palpable cornerstones of divine love I’m sure you have experienced at least one of. Even when you experience divine love for the briefest moments, miracles occur.
Despite anything happening in your world, you feel a sense of calmness. Your breathing becomes slower. You relax. You experience in the present moment that all is well and there is nothing you have to worry about, change or strive towards.
Divine loves comes with a gentle heart. The lion rests with the lamb. Things we fought against we now surrender to. A compassionate heart seeks to understand all viewpoints and know that any action taken by ourselves or another comes from doing the best that we can given where we are in the moment. You see the pain in others and within yourself, the longing for love and relief. With compassion, you take any action necessary for the well-being of all, including leaving a situation that is abusive.
Enveloped by divine love, you release the need to control anything in your life. You simply know, for no logical reason, that all is well in the world. You know that putting your life into the hands of the angels and your higher self will have everything you need taken care of. You trust that everything you are experiencing is for your highest good.
Divine love comes with a sense of safety. Held in the wings of angels, you become more courageous and empowered to take steps you would not have before because of fears and doubts. This love calls forth your ability to take chances and follow your intuition. You may not know what your future holds, but you sense that you do not have to “be in charge” anymore, manipulating, planning and controlling your life in order to feel safe in a dangerous world.
The experience of gratitude and appreciation comes more naturally when you feel divine love. You want to bless all the people in your life and all your experiences, as challenging as they may be. Nature becomes more vivid and beautiful, and little things you may not have noticed before rise up to be appreciated. You start to notice what an amazing life you have, here and now.
I want some of that! How can I experience more divine love?
First, know that you are not lacking in divine love. In fact, it is who you are. You just forget sometimes. Life is our journey of remembering.
All the cornerstones of divine love can be practiced and cultivated.
Your angels are your guides, not the ones who supply you with divine love. They are here to remind you and show you how you can connect to Divine YOU.
Listen to that quiet guidance beneath your to-do list and conditions you must adhere to in order to be able to love yourself, shine out your contribution to the world and give love to others.
A MESSAGE FROM THE ANGELS
Divine love is not separate from conditional love or any experience you are having. It is infused in every particle of the universe.
You think you need to look outside yourself for divine love and guidance. The truth is, we, the angels, are a part of you, not separate from you.
Because you’ve forgotten your own divinity, we stay with you throughout your life, reminding you that you chose this path for a very sacred reason.
We applaud you for your bravery and willingness to be a spirit who has chosen to forget their true nature. What challenges you have overcome and will continue to!
If you were in our position, seeing you as we do, you would fall to your knees, tears flowing in absolute awe at your inner strength and commitment to love. Loving is easy when everything around you is perfect – when you are surrounded with people who love you just as you are, with an abundance of food, shelter and health, and with an absolute knowledge of why you are here and your gifts to the world.
Instead, you have chosen to forget your own mastery and greatness. Your world can bring pain, separation, lack, violence and competition.
Yet despite these challenges, you love! You make a difference for others, enjoy and appreciate life, and trust there is reason for it all, even if you do not know what that reason is!
Do you see how divine you truly are? Nothing in this life can take that away.
Use us to assist you in remembering. Use us to help you align with your divine self and guide you to the steps that will bring you the love and peace you are wanting so desperately sometimes.
Ask and you shall receive. Know this to be true. Declare it. Call forth all your angels. Fill your room and home with us. We will guide you toward feeling the love that you are more and more, greater than you ever imagined possible.
You must be willing to take help when it is offered. This comes in many forms, whether from humans or the angels. You are not meant to do this alone or with your own will alone. Divine will comes from knowing you are a part of a greater plan, a greater game afoot. You will know divine will by the way you feel when asked to follow it. Doubts and fears can cloud your judgment but are not a part of divine guidance. Commit to acting upon divine will and accepting all the assistance that surrounds you.
We love you always and eternally.
It's not just you, my beloved. The world is transforming and we're all in this together. You are a master and expert in your unique experiences and contribution to the world. Together we'll navigate through these challenging yet oh so juicy and magical times.