by Julianne Kulosa
I’m walking the dog on a beautiful morning in our neighborhood, noticing the flowers vibrating and singing, and the trees so calming and grounded. I ask Mother Earth, “How may I serve you?” I look up and see a mother walking toward me with her child in a stroller. Her shirt says, “Believe In Miracles.”
Really? Yes, really! Mother Earth, Gaia, a beloved powerful conscious being who takes such nurturing care of us, said to believe in miracles!
For me, this means to believe in the power of our conscious choice to see, feel, think and act in a way that is New Earth. Our consciousness creates miracles. When we align and are willing to merge with New Earth, with the divine nature of Gaia, Life and Source, anything is possible. Truly.
We are miracle makers, we unique humans. The nature of the universe is miraculous, and what makes us unique is our free will choice to be a part of those miracles, or not.
It’s easy to underestimate human potential, given the old paradigm of reality.
When we open up to the truth that we are multi-dimensional beings fully connected to everything, we open to unlimited possibilities of what we can create.
The birds and trees already live in unity consciousness. They are part of the web of creation, yet their design is different than we humans. They don’t need to consciously “create” anything, for they are fully in the present moment flow of the universe.
We, on the other hand, have that choice point in each moment to live in whatever reality we choose to place our consciousness in.
Sure, sounds simple, but you know how challenging this can be with our personal and collective beliefs about what reality is, painful memories, and the evidence in our current reality that says otherwise.
Believe in Miracles.
This means aligning with possibility. The possibility that you or your loved one is already healed and fully healthy NOW. The possibility that the oceans are clean and purified now. The possibility that all children are cared for, bellies full and deeply loved now. The possibility that there is unlimited abundance, an abundance of resources for all, right now.
Mother Earth knows how the game is played, and she is patiently assisting us and holding space for our evolution and remembering.
When we align our thoughts and emotions with a possibility we experience as manifest here and now, miracles occur. We can shift in an instant. The world can shift in an instant.
Be open to magic and miracles, not as some mystical experience something outside yourself is creating nor as something you alone create, but as Magical Divine You aligning and merging with pure divine Source. It’s time to practice and trust this feeling-based technology inside us. We create miracles as we feel, see, be, and then act in this now moment the change we wish to see in the world.
Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Anxiety is a common symptom along the ascension path. It’s particularly easy to find “real world” reasons for feeling anxious, both personally and globally. The first step to easing anxiety, is to become aware of those thoughts that create the feeling. Fears, insecurities and doubts that may be habitual or may be focused toward a particular situation (your finances, relationships, health or state of the world problems) do need to come to light and be seen for what they are: an interpretation or story about yourself and the world. The ego is sly: it can always find proof of something if it is looking for it. At the same time, depending on your state of consciousness at any given time, the world, both inner and outer, shift. One moment you feel like you can’t be with that feeling of anxiety inside, your mind reeling, and after a meditation, exercise, being out in nature, or connecting with a loved one, you feel at ease.
Things To Consider When You Feel Anxiety
1. Everything is Energy
The solar flashes and energy that are supporting the transition into New Earth are becoming stronger and more consistent. Everyone is feeling it, and how they interpret that energy is up to them. Furthermore, as your body shifts to hold more light, it can be a pretty intense ride. It’s natural to feel that energy and want to put a reason to it, to find the problem and solution. It’s also easy to interpret more intense energies, ones that might have you feel buzzy or jittery inside, as nervousness or anxiety. Even excitement can be easily be interpreted as anxiety instead of passion or enthusiasm.
It can be a relief just to remind yourself, “It’s just energy.”
Next, find a way to ground that energy. Stand barefoot on the grass, hug a tree, take a walk in nature, garden, clean, or exercise in any way you enjoy.
I’m reminded of a story from Jack Kornfield. During lunch at a week-long silent meditation retreat, a participant went, well, crazy. He began talking and yelling, jumping on the tables and just being pretty nuts. Jack realized what was happening: this participant was having a lot of energy rise up inside, also known as “kundalini”. He immediately put the man on a different course of rigorous exercise and shifted his diet to denser foods such as meat. This assisted the man in grounding the energy that was rising up in his body a bit more quickly than he could handle.
Instead of pushing through that anxiety or nervous energy, your body might also be asking for rest and sleep. A big part of the ascension process occurs while you are sleeping, giving you time to integrate your growth and increased light. Let yourself rest!
Give yourself space to to play, laugh, dance, sing, make love and have hobbies you enjoy! Or take that action you are being called to do even if you’re feeling anxious, doubtful or insecure about it.
2. You Are a Part of Collective Consciousness
It’s helpful to remind yourself that it’s not just you. Spiritual growth opens your intuitive awareness, that ability to feel outside your own shell. We’ve been trained that we are separate, and as those walls begin to crumble, our innate connection to people and the Earth is experienced more strongly.
It’s important to acknowledge your ability to feel others. We’ve been doing it already, but have built a wall that has given that illusion of separateness. Suddenly being able to more greatly intuit the pulse of the collective, the feelings or thoughts of your loved ones, can be confusing or overwhelming.
It’s easy to think “it’s just you”, as your loved ones may be quite unaware of what they are thinking or feeling.
Acknowledge your growing ability to connect with others, plants, animals and Gaia. You are opening the to the compassion, care and unconditional love inside of you. We all affect each other, quite measurably actually, such as seen in entrainment experiments.
Setting boundaries will assist you in differentiating “you” from others. Spending time alone can give you space to get to know you and you. As you do practices that expand your heart and bring in more light and have you feel centered, you strengthen your ability to know the difference between “your energy” and others. Yes, we are all connected, yet it is in embracing our uniqueness that unity can occur. New Earth isn’t about some kind of intense “group mind” where we are all floating around as One without anything to interact with.
It can be very helpful to set your intention and focus for your day, especially if you are in a service or healing position. If you walk into work without intention, you are open to the twists and turns that the energy of any person coming your way puts out. On the other hand, if you set your energy in the morning with that intention, such as to be of loving service or to be calm and at ease, this keeps you centered, without need to give away your energy or take on the energy of others.
3. Bouncing Back and Forth from 3D to 5D Perspectives
As you try to be a good and right person, you might be finding that what you were taught about reality just isn’t matching to what you’re sensing inside. Yet, you still need and want to function in the traditional world, drive your car, interact with those who aren’t interested in “spiritual awakening”, or pay the bills. Part of you thinks you should be focusing on getting a traditional education or career, make good money, be of service in a way that puts others first and you last, and act a certain way so that others expectations of you are met and so that they feel good when they’re around you. At the same time, you are committed to your spiritual awakening and might be having profound and strange heart-opening and dimensional shifting experiences. You might be drawn to be more authentic, to take care of yourself inside first so that you can shine out your light to the world in service, set boundaries, or take an unconventional heart-inspired path that has no known outcome like success in career or finances.
When challenges around money, health or relationships arise, important decisions need to be made, it’s easy to wonder if the traditional perspective is the correct one to take. You read articles and ask for advice, often solidifying the old reality you are waking up from. This doesn’t have to be an either/or choice. The collective is still primarily in this old reality, and therefore grounded choices do need to be made. Do you need to go to the doctor or is this just an ascension symptom? It’s okay to take both perspectives – if you’re called to go to the doctor, go! You might know you’re done with your current job and are being called to something new, but it’s okay to keep going to that job to be able to pay your bills right now.
Ease up on your process and awakening – it can be a little rocky, up and down, and life paces your process in a way that you can best handle holding more light. Open to the possibility that you are multi-dimensional. This means that you have the ability to shift your consciousness in any moment. One moment you could be communing with nature and talking with the trees, and the next moment be very grounded as you traverse a rocky trail carefully. One moment you are in absolute presence of the bliss of the Now and the next, you need to take care of a time-sensitive task like going to an appointment.
It’s okay to feel tossed around a bit. You’re learning about centering into and opening to your authentic nature! Return to breathing into your heart and know that as your untapped potential is awakening, you’re learning how to navigate it. Your process is about integration. Sometimes it will be sudden changes, endings, shifts, forgetfulness, fogginess and lack of focus or sharp memory recall. Trust that when you really need that focus or memory, like to do your job, it will be there. Have faith that life and the universe, have your back and are supporting you fully, even if it doesn’t look or feel the way you think it should.
4. Opening to New You
Things are changing, inside you and globally, and they’re changing fast. We naturally seek stability and comfort. We are trained to set goals into a future we are creating. During your awakening, you are being asked to let go of what you thought was “you”, and opening to a greater Truth of who you are. Life has a way of assisting you if you resist, as external shifts (in work, home, relationships, health) may force a new perspective for you.
A lot of anxiety can come with the change in your consciousness occurring that is actually such a higher Love Light vibration and a deeper truth about reality. Letting go of who your think you are and your understanding of the world, especially as much of the collective, especially family or friends, still operate in the old density of 3D, can cause a lot of turmoil inside. Do you know what’s true, right or real anymore?
You may be finding yourself at a loss, with old interests falling away yet nothing new showing up. You’re supposed to be active and busy, aren’t you? That active busy feel at odds with an unknown next step could definitely have you feel anxious.
With your new perspective, you might wonder if your loved ones will come with you. If you change, will they still want to hang around with you? The truth is, we never know how long relationships will last or change over time, and this is no different.
Be open, just willing, to acknowledge and experience death. It is part of the great cycle of change, and one most of us don’t want to confront. It’s uncomfortable and the great unknown. Be compassionate about your natural inclination to want to hold onto those things and relationships that you love, and for your desire for stability and things to “get back to normal”. Relax into the knowing that with death always comes the promise of new life.
Study the stages of butterfly, as the caterpillar spends its time wrapped in the darkness of the cocoon.
5. Trauma, Programming and Emotions Bubbling Up
There are few people that get enthusiastic about the idea of their shit coming up. I’m certainly still practicing embracing it. “Woo hoo! There’s another fear, victimization, attachment, insecurity, expectation, belief, automatic reaction, or unresolved experience I get to feel and look at! Ooh, and isn’t it awesome to see how I treat others or myself when I get triggered!” Yeah, a tough one to look forward to, but there it is, asking for your loving attention. It’s been hidden away in the darkness, wanting to return to the One with your loving awareness, your gratitude for its lessons, and your compassion.
This is where setting time aside can really assist you. Once you are going about your day, interacting with others, it can be challenging to give the kind of attention and space that these feelings and memories are asking for. Furthermore, often when things bubble up, you’re in a space where you forgot that what you’re feeling or thinking may not actually be true. A dark cloud can come over you, and as you try to unravel those reactions or feelings, it only serves to solidify them and increase your anxiety. This might be a time to take a break, to put your attention on raising your vibration through any means possible, such as connecting with a friend, watching silly cat videos, taking a walk in nature, getting a massage, drinking more water, completing a needed task like housecleaning or paying bills, doing volunteer work or assisting a friend – anything that feels calming, brings you peace of mind, has you feel good about yourself and life. Yes, it could look like deep breaths or your “spiritual practices”, but sometimes it just means shifting your attention to the good in life and the service that you are to the world, which is plentiful.
By setting aside time to “go there,” you are practicing being able to be aware and loving throughout your day. Setting time aside means starting by doing your practice you are most drawn to right now. Maybe it’s noticing the breath, doing mantras, visualizing, prayer, connecting to your heart, bringing in light and merging with Source and Gaia, calling on divine support, doing yoga, or a myriad of other practices and methods available. You’ve now set the space to be able to address those things that are coming up to be seen and released, not just for yourself but also for the collective. You can now take that loving perspective, hold the space for those things to come up, and see more clearly. Personally, I like to journal. You might like to share with a friend, share with your guides or angels, or use some kind of healing technique on your own or through a practitioner. All you need for your journey is in you and around you, and as you give space to “go there”, the support you need will be right in front of you in that moment.
6. Feeling the Acceleration of the Shift Occurring
It’s just the Shift speeding up, and the Universe is asking you to slow down and center. It’s just energy, and you have choice in how you interpret what it means.
Notice that sped up energy, the thoughts that say you should be doing more, that say you have no time. Notice the habit of pushing through when your call is actually to rest or sleep.
Or, you may want to allow yourself to have this be a challenge you can live up to! The opportunities when the energy and changes are accelerated is an time you can lift up quickly. You can rise to the challenge while you keep your practices in place that keep you centered, grounded and trusting your intuitive guidance.
You have a time-shifting ability you may not be aware of. The ancient Egyptians had a temple devoted to the study of time, from the perspective of how man moves through time. Things can go slower or faster depending on your state of consciousness. You know the “in the zone” feeling when things are flowing and you’re doing what you love – that can make time fly like when you’re doing some artwork. Or when you really want something, enthusiastically but calmly and without attachment – space opens up, time opens up, traffic lights are all green. When you’re feeling anxious, that can make things move quickly yet have things take longer than necessary. I’ve learned that too many times!
Modern science has added another layer to time called “vertical time”. In any given moment, all possibilities exist. Tap into your ability to open to the present moment of vertical time, as compared to the stress and anxiety of living only in horizontal time, always rushing impatiently toward a future or looking back toward what has past. Use your inner natural ability to do so by using your intention, focus in when you slow down into each moment, and choose the possibility of ease, peace, flow and trust in the universe and Divine Plan.
7. Information Overload
This can be both internal and external. As waves of energy and higher frequency come in, you might have insights, guidance, creative ideas and new perspectives appear one after the other. It might feel like there’s so much to remember and do. Creativity is the nature of the universe, and one of the ways to know how creative you actually are is to see all those “unfinished” projects you have – a sign of all those creative ideas!
You are co-creating this New Earth with others. If you have an idea, know that someone else does to. You don’t have to be the one to implement it. Maybe you just plant the seed, or support others in their projects energetically or physically.
Also, know that you don’t need to do everything at once. You can write down your insights, and then just breathe into the moment and do what’s next to be done in this moment, which might be integration through rest and sleep, making dinner, meditating, connecting with others, or being of service out in the world. One step at a time, with cultivating feeling peaceful and centered a priority.
Externally, there is also so much information available more than ever before. You may want to deliberately turn off your phone, stop reading or watching the news, or just take a break from all electronics all together. Getting out into nature is one of the greatest ways to relax into the present moment.
If you have the thought to do something such as stretch, take a walk, meditate, or make that phone call, and think, “I don’t have time!” this might actually be exactly the time to do so.
8. Opening to All Viewpoints and The Void
As your heart opens more and more, you’ll find a desire to respect and honor all viewpoints. It's not that you take them on as your own, but you allow others to have their unique perspectives. Being so open to the new, to change, to different possibilities, might have you feeling like – what the heck do I know anyway? When the dependability of who you thought you were and what you thought reality was starts to break apart, you might wonder what you even have to offer to the world. Furthermore, it can be challenging when you need to make an important decision yet see the validity of different viewpoints.
When your knowledge isn’t fact but merely one possibility, when you know there are so many ways to look at any situation, it can really trigger the insecurity of how you fit in and belong. Someone asks for you advice, and what comes to mind are dozens of ways you could answer their question. There’s not just one correct answer anymore, so what “expertise” do you have to offer anyone? Here’s the cool thing: knowledge really is power, just in a different sense. Being open to so many viewpoints allows you to trust that your mind has taken them all into account and you can now more easily drop into the intuitive, tapped in, higher vibrational intelligence of your heart. Being open might feel empty, yet it is in that emptiness where all pure potential exists.
Being in the present moment in the space of pure love can also feel like a nothingness, an emptiness. It is a sublime space of pure potential, yet with that drive to understand what you’re supposed to be doing, to be productive and responsible, it can be a very uncomfortable space to feel. This is zero point, and just know that each time you experience the present moment fully, you are opening to all possibilities and learning about the true nature of reality and your divine human potential to co-create the world you wish to live in.
Opening to new viewpoints is a wonderful thing! You are embracing diversity and opening your compassionate heart.
In your heart is also your ability to take that mental knowledge, all those perspectives into account, and then use the intelligence of your heart to choose your next step, big or small. You can place your hands on your heart and breathe into your heart, breathing in ease, centering back into the wisdom and intelligence of your heart. This allows better coherence between your heart and your brain, giving you clearer love-based directives.
When you're opening to all viewpoints, let it empower you to most importantly honor your own, to live by your values and trust your choices.
9. Higher Guidance Delivered Through the Ego
I love this one, thanks to Matt Khan. Your soul, your higher self, your guides and angels, all connected to the guidance of Source, are always guiding you toward your highest good, in returning to love, joy and peace.
Let’s say your higher self is supporting you by nudging you to care for your body more. It whispers incessantly, “Eat more vegetables,” or “go for a walk”. What you hear instead it, “Your diet is terrible and you need to lose weight. You have no willpower.” or “You’re so lazy. You really need to get more exercise, loser.”
So each time you have the thought about something that is actually loving guidance to assist you, it only stresses you out and has that anxiety come up that says, “You should be doing more, better, different…” This is because the message from higher guidance is actually being delivered from your ego. Your ego can be kind of harsh and controlling, speaking in rough and bossy tones that just don’t feel good. You might be used to that kind of rough communication, since your parents used it on you as a child to get you into action. As an adult, surely you don’t appreciate being spoken to that way anymore, from a boss, spouse or otherwise.
While your ego really does have your best interest at heart, its controlling nature isn’t serving to motivate you on your spiritual path so much. You can thank your ego, and ask it to be gentler in its communication. When you get that guidance to do something and notice you feel anxious, you can wonder, “If this were a communication from someone who loved me unconditionally just as I am, wasn’t trying to fix me, punish me, or make me feel bad or wrong, what would that communication be?”
You always have choice in how you interpret your feelings and experiences. Just know that you are truly expanding and a part of the shift occurring, and the process you are going through is natural and not always easy. Take care of yourself along your journey. When you feel that anxiety, know it will pass. It’s time to be brave, to take new actions that may seem scary, but do them anyway, for the world needs and is ready for New You!
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Along the spiritual path of Awakening, you are asked to allow uncomfortable painful emotions, beliefs, thoughts and memories to come into your consciousness. This is a part of the healing journey, with many ways to accomplish this task. Furthermore, this path is about authenticity and being awake and aware, choosing your interpretations and responses about reality as opposed to operating from those automatic viewpoints and reactions. Clearing out the old makes way for more Light to come into the body. You may feel like you’ve been doing this for so long – enough already! You might have moments us deep connection, bliss, love, peace or joy, only to find yourself reacting to your life in an automatic way, with impatience, frustration, grief, anxiety or anger.
I’ve spent so many years trying to be “ultra” self-aware, noticing when I’d rather escape than confront my feelings (and then choosing to do so!), or when I react to a situation or loved one in a defensive or offensive way. Then these reactions or automatic behaviors would give me more reason to say, “See, you’re not there yet. You’re not doing it right or good enough.”
Boy, do we take this life so dang seriously! Spirituality is often taken as serious business, set with rules and regulations just like at work, in religion or in proper social etiquette. Give me some room to breathe please! We all want freedom. Freedom to be spontaneously ourselves, doing the best we can, making mistakes along the way, knowing that we are a contribution to this planet and can have fun all along our journey here.
Recently I’ve noticed how, in the journey to let all that stuff come up, to follow a path of love and light, it’s easy to make mountains out of molehills. Simplicity is the call, yet we like to make things quite complicated, going on a search for how deeply our thoughts, feelings or actions, our programming, stories and trauma affect our day-to-day experience.
For me, the call now is to lighten up even more. I know what I’m committed to, and I see myself, everyday, veering from that commitment. Then I’ll want to self-analyze, which can often bring me more deeply into that programming that is “in the way” of my commitment. Why? Because I’m still coming into my power, that power within that is intimately connected with everything. Humility isn’t about saying, “Oh, little old me, I can’t possibility do or be that. I don’t deserve it. I’m not good enough. I don’t want to be egotistical.” Humility is admitting that yes, the separate you that you think you are (aka the ego) is powerless, but inside you is the power of the Divine, of the One that you are always connected to. It’s a willingness to give up that separation and merge with a power greater than just little old separate you. You know, the one that thinks they need to do whatever it takes to make it happen, to work hard and be in control at all times.
So in the name of clearing, it’s easy to “work hard”, to go on a harangue about those things that come up that have us continue habits we know no longer support us or reactions that are based in fear, lack and separation. Don’t get me wrong, it can be very fun, enlightening and entertaining to do so, the best choice in the moment, and it’s okay when you choose to! It can remind you and point you back to that trajectory of where you want to go.
Once you’ve shined the light on those things that have been running you, had the willingness to bring unconditional love to those things, feelings, thoughts and memories that have you feel alone, treated unjustly, traumatized, angry, insignificant, not enough, broken or weak, you can send them back into the Light of Source where they belong, into wholeness and peace.
So you’ve done that, and yet there’s more, more reactions, more programming of how reality is even though you know better, more automatic responses and habits. Why are they still there? Am I doing it wrong? I’d better work harder!
You don’t need to keep going there, thinking, “Oh gosh, I have so much more to do, to confront, to clear, to be aware of, to grow…I’m not “there” yet.” That just is keeping you in a loop of exactly what you’re wanting to “clear” – those fears that keep you separated from your divine spark inside, the one that is free to be empowered and enjoy the ride.
Here’s the thing: you are a creator, totally empowered. You are a Master who came here in this time to be a part of creating New Earth. Therefore, you’ve got what it takes, baby! You’ve got this, whether you believe it or not. You’re doing it exactly as you need to, and it’s all unfolding just right.
I noticed the other day a friend talking about his challenges around making money and having financial abundance. He went on about his focus of thought, where his attention was and how he was interpreting reality, his family dynamics and money conversation within his family, etc. It was funny, because he talked like those things were “running” him in his subconscious, yet he was clearly actually consciously aware of it. I saw how I do that too, think that things are running me unconsciously even as I’m very aware of them!
This is all wonderful stuff, to bring things into your awareness. Yet I realized there comes a point when it’s time to let it go. Yeah, yeah, there it is again, and I don’t need to go there! In the past, I would have almost said that blasphemy – if it is presenting in your reality, you need to go there. But do you? And if so, how?
I’ve taken on a simple practice that you might want to try. If you find yourself going on a harangue about something, you could just Lighten Up! You can use that God-given power of yours, the one that isn’t trying to fix anything or obliterate the “bad” from your reality, but the one that is unconditionally loving and is choosing what reality they are living in.
You notice that thought, interpretation of what’s happening, and say, “Thank you, but no.”
That’s it, “Thank you, but no.” You’re not pushing down or escaping from the thought or feeling that has arisen – you’ve already just noticed it with a commitment to loving whatever arises, even when it doesn't feel good. It’s not a heart-breaking rejection or emotionally charged judgment. It’s choosing, like when the waiter asks, “Would you like dessert?” and you respond, “Thank you, but no.” (Sure you could go on a run with that one, as you might notice the idea of dessert sounds yummy, and in come the thoughts about your diet, health, ideal weight, social standards of beauty, your values around eating and your commitment….but in that restaurant in that moment, you are clear about what you want and don’t want, and you simply say to the waiter, “Thank you, but no.”)
Recently, I noticed I felt anxious in my tummy, that solar plexus area. I went there, realizing it was because I was about to teach a cardio kickboxing class, something I hadn’t done in over a decade. Will I be good enough? Will they like it, me, the workout, the music? Will they have fun and enjoy it? Will it be too easy, too hard, to fast, to slow? I noticed I do that with another type of workout I teach, Nia Technique. I noticed that feeling of not good enough, of never enough, in my teaching, and then my thoughts starting to trickle out into other aspects of me and my life, like how my clothing is never quite right, cute enough, fit just right, etc.
I saw how there it was yet again: never good enough, I’m not enough, that feeling of separation and not enough. That deepest darkest core wound, “I’m not enough.” Here’s the thing: that awareness alone, something I’ve been delving into for a long time, wasn’t actually serving to alleviate that anxiety, to align me with a greater Truth.
So, instead of my usual, “You need to go there, with loving attention. This wants your loving attention,” I said, “Thank you, but no.” I like to add a little wave with my right hand near my head (real or imaginary), waving that out and away, back to the Light of Source. You can do this for anything – when you notice even deeper programming, trauma, or timeloops.
What happened next was so natural and easy. Present, here and now, space opened up. I thought and wrote spontaneously, (and I quote from my journal), “I choose unity. Thank you for pointing out that I still have feelings of scarcity and separation, and no, I don’t need that anymore. I choose connection. So when I go out into the world, through teaching, writing or whatever, I CONNECT with others, I share authentically my experience and self-expression, knowing our hearts touch because we are all connected. I choose to unify and merge with Mother Earth and Source God, the Divine in me, One with All. I am safe to allow this connection. In my trust and safety, I allow others to confront their fear and separation, and to open their hearts to connecting and merging. Yes! All as an expression of the One Divine Source Love!”
Gratitude washed over me, in so many specific ways, and the goal of teaching became to have FUN! And then I noticed: that anxiety in my solar plexus was completely gone.
Here’s what I want you to get: Yes, that self-awareness was there, that ability to notice thoughts and feelings, but the shift in my perspective didn’t come from working hard to put all those high vibe practices and perspectives into place. Thank you to those thoughts and feelings for coming up of course, a perfect part of the process as they release out, returning to the Light. My shift came from the willingness to stand in my power and make the simple command: “Thank you, but no.” Our souls already know the way, we just need to admit it can be easier than we think and relax a little.
Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Along the spiritual path, there comes a point where you realize that spirituality can feel like any other endeavor, the same as any other goal-oriented path, such as a career.
The below musings are not to make any of this wrong. Aren’t you so tired of right and wrong? There’s gotta be another way and we’re getting there more and more! Along your path, you are learning discernment, how to distinguish Truth from the illusion of separation and fear. And the list below is what I’ve noticed, sure in others, and most often in myself.
Being aware of how that density of separation and doubt shows up allows you to have new openings, options and choices. So let yourself just take a look at the below discussion on the spiritual ego with an open mind, using it to cut yourself and others some slack, to be more compassionate, and to have even more freedom to choose love, peace and joy, to awaken and grow because of it. I hope sharing my authentic experience contributes to your journey.
What the heck does that mean? Well, it’s spirituality seeped in judgment, separation, fear and lack. It’s that need to control yourself and others, wrapped in the “spiritual” aspect of your life. Judging yourself or others for being in that spot is just more of the same, of course. It’s a part of the awakening process, to go through this phase. In fact, it’s called, “being human”. So it’s not like, “Oh my God, I’m guilty of being spiritually egotistical!” It’s just a good thing to notice, that’s all. Then you’re free to choose a different way. While this stage of spiritual growth is part of the spiritual awakening path, the path isn’t a straight line or step-by-step process necessarily, it’s an adventure, with twists and turns, mountains and valleys.
1. The Spirituality Police
Religion is the best example of this. All religions have a base of Truth, of Unconditional Love. Religions include methods of controlling ones actions and behaviors, set inside of rules, commandments and divisions. These become an easy means for the ego to come out to play, which it must, so we can be more aware of it.
*Warning: the following are some musings on Christianity. If you’re not interested, skip it. As with anything, take what resonates and makes a difference for you, and leave the rest.
While I’ve practiced and studied many religions, I was raised Catholic. So it starts with this really pure unconditionally loving God, who creates the universe from that Light of Divine Love. God creates Adam and Eve, and they’re all blissed out and connected. Ah, but then they eat the apple and forget they are connected to God. They think they’re separate, and now with self-awareness experienced as separate-from, go right into judgment. Cover up that body! In their forgetting, they are cast into a world that is separate from God, where there are dangers at every turn, so much to fear. That place inside them that feels separate desperately wants to connect back, to fill in that sense of “something missing” and “not enough”. So humans start to fight, kill, steal, pillage, rape, control, have power over, compete and just generally feel kinda crappy. God offers some solace with the Ten Commandments. “Hey, there’s only ten. Really, you’ll feel better and remember our connection if you just follow these. I love you and want you to have fun and take care of each other and the Earth as you use your free will to expand My creations with that creative force inside of you (aka the Light of Me!).”
In comes Jesus, a guy seeped in that yummy diamond Love Light of Christ Consciousness, remembering and sharing the Truth of Who We Really Are. By living example, he says, (and I paraphrase of course), “Come on now, my sweet family. We’re all brothers and sisters, children of Source God, don’t you remember? It’s time to wake up!” He even shows us that our fears, pain and separation are such an illusion that he willingly suffers tremendously on the cross before he dies, only to resurrect, because he wanted to demonstrate to us, “No matter how much you suffer, or see others suffer, if you know in your heart the Truth, you will awaken Eternal because you Remember who you are.”
Then, the various books in the Bible are written, channeled if you will. Yet over time, the messages become entangled in fear, separation and lack by some very power hungry forget-full people. Books and passages are edited or removed entirely, and the Bible today is left as a partial truth. An eternally loving God becomes one to be feared. Do we even know what unconditional love means anymore? The message becomes: follow these rules or you are bad and wrong. Original sin, that apple in Eden that had you forget your eternal Oneness and connection with God, becomes reason to judge the hell out of (or is it into?) everyone that’s not doing it right, including you. And there is only One way to do it right. If not, no biggie, you’ll just spend eternity in pain and suffering. Then religion gives reason to fight and kill over, to judge and cast out the sinners, and to insert even more fear and lack in the world.
Other religions have their rules and commandments too, of course. All started out as loving guidelines, such as Buddhist, Islam and Hindu, only to become reason to create strict rules and limitations on your behaviors to attain enlightenment or be a good and right person.
It’s easy to use spiritual principles, such as to be loving, compassionate, caring, forgiving, mindful, aware, calm, centered or peaceful to police our thoughts, words and actions – or those of others. These principles become strict laws that deserve punishment if they are not obeyed, and must be protected and defended. There’s karma after all, which can easily be interpreted as punishment. You focus an eagle eye on negative thoughts. Because words have power, you try to control every thought you think and word that comes out of your mouth. You try your best to speak and act in a way that pleases others, only to find that they still respond sometimes with upset, offense or just plain old don’t like you. There’s not much freedom to be, to just do your best and make mistakes along the way.
Maybe you find a guru, coach, spiritual teacher, yoga instructor, author, or healer, whom you think is “higher” than you spiritually. You hold them up to some standard of living, eating, speaking, acting or relating in the world, only to knock them down when they act like, well, a human.
You might find yourself policing others, lecturing, correcting and pointing out their behaviors that you deem as incorrect, even though they didn’t ask. Yes, of course there are times that you see abuse and harm in the world and are called to act, and consider it is possible to do so from a place of loving compassion and love for All, including those doing the harm.
Spiritual awakening is expansive. Can you feel the difference between that constricting box of ways you’re supposed to be, act, think and feel compared to the heart-opening experience in those times you are present to greater truth of the compassionate Light around and within you?
2. Spiritual Comparison & Righteousness
You’ve found something that really calls your heart, that which is assisting you in connecting with a higher truth, with Source, and the Divine in You and All. You know the difference it’s making for you, and want others to have benefit too. In your enthusiasm, you start to compare and judge other forms of spirituality. One type of spiritual process, practice, religion, teacher or viewpoint is better than the other. You’ve connected with and a part of an awesome group of spiritually minded people, yet it becomes exclusive, like your group is better, more evolved, more aware, or more in Truth than those not a part of it. You’ve found a way to connect in, and notice that others are clueless, suffering and complaining. Those poor ignorant souls.
If you’re in the Awakening or Ascension process conversation, clearly you’re more evolved than other people, or at least there’s a feeling of righteousness about the path or practice you’ve found. You judge all those “3D” people out there, so stuck in that fear and separation. You cherry pick whom you’ll hang out with, lest they lower your vibe. Maybe you have your story, “When I had my awakening...,” forgetting that it’s an eternal process and game, and we’re all Divine here, each on our own Mastery path.
Conversely, you’ve spent years or decades on the spiritual path, only to feel you’re “not there yet”. You must be broken or something. You use spirituality and spiritual practice as a discipline that if you’re not following to the tee at all times, if you notice you’re reactive, doubtful, frustrated, judgmental, uncertain, unclear, don’t do your morning meditation, or get angry with a loved one, you’re not doing it right. You look at others spiritual experiences and think if you’re not having that experience too, you must not be doing enough or doing it right.
There’s a freedom that comes with allowing diversity. We learn, support and grow from each other, yet each of us has a unique path and perspective, no better nor worse that another. Discerning what works for you and what doesn’t takes the judgment out of the equation. Offers are made, and you can simply say, “Yes, please,” or “No, thank you.” People ebb and flow in and out of your life, things light you up or they don’t, and a natural flow with the Divine Plan occurs more easily.
3. Spiritual Superstition
Most superstitions come with the pre-supposition that reality is something we have no control over. Be it for better or for worse. So we use those superstitions to try to control what we actually have no control over. There’s that forgetfulness that you’re on a team, that all is Source Consciousness and interconnected.
For example, you got that “aha moment” that you create your reality, and now everything becomes your responsibility in the sense that if it’s in your reality, you created it: you and you alone. You forgot about trusting the Divine Plan, and the ego says, “You need to control your reality,” as compared to, “You are a part of a web of creation, given a gift of an ability to co-create a reality with the Universe that serves All.” You find yourself blaming and shaming yourself or others for creating bad, hurtful or painful things and say, “Well, what did you do to create that?” An anxiety comes from that Law of Attraction you heard about. If you don’t have the reality you want, you must have something in that subconscious of yours that is sabotaging you, so you’d better work harder to get into the Vortex.
Another superstition is regarding the evil that is out to get you – those psychic vampires, energetic cords, hexes, others bad vibes, or beings without bodies (at least not human…). This can easily be quite fear-based. Demons disguised as angels – watch out!
I have learned and practiced many methods of clearing space, within and without, and know that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Divine love is the Divine Protector, and as you awaken more and more to your eternal nature, you’ll find there’s really nothing you need to control or protect yourself from. Instead, you can take the viewpoint of being a caretaker of yourself and the planet.
4. Using Spirituality to Fix the World
You’ve discovered there’s a bigger picture. You’re getting unplugged from the Matrix. You’re seeing how you’ve been indoctrinated into a reality that is an illusion. You’re waking up to new possibilities that make the world a place where everyone is respected and deeply cared for. Yippee!
You also see all that’s NOT that: the pain, the suffering, the abuse, the cruelty, the lies, and the deceptions. You delve into everything that’s wrong with the world and how it needs to fixed: chemtrails, the government, animal abuse, human abuse and violence, injustice, pollution, clear-cutting and much more. There’s evil out there, and it must be exposed and obliterated. You must protect yourself, your loved ones, and the planet.
You need to fix other peoples pain and suffering, as if you can control their experience (a tough one to learn as a healer – that you can offer, and they’re the ones allowing it in or not). There’s an inequality there, helping and fixing those poor souls below you that need your help.
Hmmm, all that indignation, anger and fear…wait - isn’t that what your spiritual practice is awakening you from? Is more of the same – the world is bad, dangerous and wrong and needs to be fixed – really going to get us there? (Note – some call this “Spiritual Activism”, an important part of our growing process we all go through.)
You’ll start to find that there are choice points that lead you into a different reality in any moment. In a reality of infinite possibility, what reality do you choose to live in right now? Great! Now act in a way that matches that reality. This is the power of your consciousness, of your multi-dimensionality. You’re waking up from the belief there is one reality (aka 3rd dimensional consciousness), one set way that things play out, based on linear time.
5. Compartmentalizing Spirituality
You’re on the spiritual path and now there are ways you’re supposed to live that are spiritual. Anything else is well, not. You have a list of what’s spiritual and what isn’t, and can struggle because, hey, you still need to poop, work, drive, or care for your family. You want that glass of wine or piece of cake, or you enjoy your TV series binge-watching.
Conversely, you may do a spiritual practice or go to church on Sundays, and then leave the rest of your time (95%+) as “free” time. I meditated this morning, and now I go about my day as usual, on a kind of automatic.
Here’s the thing: It’s all spiritual. We are spiritual beings having this human experience. Your dedication to your awakening process is 24/7, a commitment to shifting the way you, and thus the collective, experience reality through shifting your consciousness. Any deliberate time set apart from our “normal” activities, such as meditation, is practice time for what you bring into the rest of your day. With a forgiving and compassionate heart, you can more easily see and make choices that support your values and intentions, and enjoy the ride all along the way.
6. Spiritual Attachments, Demands and Expectations
This is a “what’s in it for me” attitude. The ego wants to take care of you, to make sure you’re safe and thriving, or at least surviving, and maybe even comfortable. It’s goal-oriented. Without the promise of heaven, enlightment, Nirvana, 5th dimensional consciousness or New Earth, what’s the point?
You do your practices, prayer or clearings, waiting for payday. If you don’t get paid (in health, happiness, relationships, prosperity, peace of mind, or resolution/release of deep-seated beliefs that have us react rather than respond to life), you feel like it’s an unjust world. Surely you’ve earned this already! Tick, tock universe, I want that free two-day shipping!
Or maybe you’ve used spirituality to bargain. If you please heal my loved one, I promise to be a better person.
It’s also easy to be attached to experiencing life in a certain way. If I’m spiritual, I should feel vibrantly healthy, blissed out, connected, happy, joyful and/or peaceful all the time, shouldn’t I? Maybe you continue to seek that next high, not much different than using drugs, food or shopping. You could even be attached to experiencing non-attachment or non-duality, as crazy as that sounds.
This is why wisdom traditions and religions emphasize peace. Buddhism’s path to peace is through non-attachment. Peace comes in the present moment, when you decide and feel that all is well right now, regardless of circumstance, even as you envision and take action on a better world for yourself and all.
The spiritual ego wants it, and wants it now. Consider that the universe has your back, that there really is divine timing and life knows what it's doing. That means that you'll have what you envision possible (even better than you imagined), and at the perfect time - and that time just isn't right now. Right now, you might not have what you want, but you have exactly what you need for your highest good.
What if it’s all set up perfectly, and it’s okay to have rough times? What if your greatest challenges are the ones that propel you most in your awakening?
I’m sure you’ll have insights of other ways the spiritual ego likes to come out and play. Trying to “get rid” of the ego? Oops, that part of the spiritual ego talkin’ don’t ya know? Nothing on this list is bad or wrong, it just wants your attention of discernment infused with unconditional love. There’s a reason it’s been said that a great quality to have is to be able to laugh at yourself! “Oops, yep, I’ve done that one!”
When you notice the ego at play, it gives an opportunity to shift in that moment as well as to better distinguish the experience of separation and fear from the experience of unity and love. It gives an opportunity to breathe and say, “Thank you for the lesson! Everything is here to assist me!” All is well, all part of the divine plan unfolding, presenting one superbly perfect step at a time.
It's not just you, my beloved. The world is transforming and we're all in this together. You are a master and expert in your unique experiences and contribution to the world. Together we'll navigate through these challenging yet oh so juicy and magical times.