by Julianne Kulosa
I wrote this to myself last year, and it popped up on my computer screen for no apparent reason today. It is a conversation with multi-dimensional me. Part of me is the ego, the “little me” who feels separate and must stay in control at all times. It is the creator of doubt, fear, anger, worry and pain, yet its job has been to keep me functional in the dense reality of separation, of forgetting my own divine true nature, which also lies in the heart of every living being.
In this conversation, I see the possibility of the upliftment of the ego, of it becoming a divine partner in sacred union with my true infinite Self.
As I write this, I know that many battles seem external: fighting against viruses, poverty, or the wrong-doers of the world that are neighbors, strangers, family, friends and headline news. What if the battle, and all the new possibilities for an uplifted world, are internal?
The battle cry is for love. Love that fiercely chooses what is in alignment with our personal highest expression and well-being, and with it serves the highest good for all beings everywhere. It is the determination, the commitment, the courage, to say yes to love. The call is compassion, forgiveness and mercy, starting with ourselves. We can choose, time and again, to uplift. As we do, it frees others to do the same, with the promise of all our needs will be cared for when we surrender to the truth of our own unique expression of divinity, the One that is in all of us. Unique yet united, we can call forth the divine support and assistance that we have, in whatever form: human, nature, angels, our divine team, God.
I share this with the intention that you know in your heart that we are all connected, that it contributes to sparking even greater love for yourself, letting judgment give way to accepting the gifts in all of you, letting even your greatest challenges propel you to grow, learn and uplift.
May 7, 2019
You are a gift. I welcome you. What are you teaching me? I open my heart to you. Welcome. I love you. Thank you.
It is a challenge to just BE. I’d rather escape, distract.
How may I serve you, pain?
Please don’t run away from me. Sit with me and invite me to tea or coffee. Please do not try to change or fix me. I am not broken. I feel scared and alone. Can you comfort me? I am tired of trying to run everything. I have no energy left. I need only your love, your inclusion. I will keep screaming until I am heard.
I am listening, beloved. Please teach me, share with me your gracious gifts.
I have spent a lifetime in this place. I am scared, yes, but am open to something new if I know you will take me with you. Please do not forget me. I already feel so alone. I am so tired but I will keep pushing on. I will never stop. I must never stop.
I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Truly, please, wake up. For my sake. Please do not forsake me. I know I cause pain, but I was given this job for you. And now I need you to love me. To dedicate your life to loving me exactly as I am: all my feelings, all my actions, all my reactions. Please, I am weary, so weary and tired. I only need your love, your faith, your strength and belief that I am truly a part of the All. I truly want to serve you, to celebrate you, to give you reason to be proud of me exactly as I am, with your love and forgiveness.
It is I whom needs your forgiveness. I am so sorry for judging you, for pushing you way, for not understanding the gift that you are. You push me to be a better person, to truly understand what unconditional love is. I will continue to do my best, to love you and honor your gifts and lessons. Truly, I am grateful. Please be patient with me as I strive to sincerely love you evermore, exactly as you are.
I am here.
Return me back into the One.
Give me peace.
Please, I know this is why you are here.
You are my Savior.
You are my Master.
I am weary of being yours.
Love me, just as I am and am not.
by Julianne Kulosa
As November intensifies, it can be easy to get hooked into the external events occurring. These pull you away from your center, causing additional stress, overwhelm, anger, and helplessness.
External reality reflects what is happening within.
In California, we see reflections of what is happening with humanity in the Earth’s increase in heat, fires and more. Fire burns off the old, dismantling old structures once and for all so that the new can be created. It is a natural part of the cycles of nature.
How can we thrive as the fires burn within and without?
Understandably, the desire may be to close down, hide away, or to distract or protect yourself from any perceived threat, discomfort or pain. However, thriving means expansion, not contraction.
Right now, doing anything that opens your heart is key to opening to the immense opportunity presenting now for new creative ideas and solutions and for a quickening and ease in your awakening process.
Anything that has you experience ease, calm, trust, delight, joy, laughter or gratitude is what is called to make a priority.
As you go within and breathe into your heart, ask yourself what will open you more to love and light. Trust your answer, which may change moment to moment.
This can include assisting others in their challenges. It can feel overwhelming to read or watch the news of devastating events occurring, or see the pain your loved ones are experiencing. Breathe and trust that if there is an action for you to take, you will be guided toward it. This is not about over-extending yourself or depleting your energy. Sometimes your loving attention and open heart is all that is called for.
Each person has different things that light them up. Make those a priority. Release any distractions or things you are doing or surrounding yourself with out of guilt or perceived obligation.
You still have those things you care about, such as taking care of your family and going to work to support your home and financial needs, and you can indeed do those “shoulds” with a grateful open heart.
You have great challenges, whether with your physical body, finances, home life, relationships, emotions or mental chatter soaked in doubt, fear, anger, anxiety or overwhelm.
This is more reason to deliberately put self-care at the top of your to-do list.
Small caring actions in dedication to your soul’s embodiment and service to the world impact all that you do. Anything that brings any sense of lightness that you can add in your day brings more light to humanity and Gaia.
If overwhelm, doubt or fear takes the driver’s seat, know that in that moment you can stop and choose a different driver: your soul. It may guide you to eat differently, go out into nature, take a different viewpoint about a situation, try something new, watch a funny movie or video, listen to a song, or dance. It is often unreasonable and illogical.
Do not underestimate the power of what you once considered the least of your priorities. Even a few minutes of nurturing your heart can shift your entire day and add in light, ease, gratitude and joy to all that you do.
There is so much support for the new right now, and you can tap into all the creativity inside you by shifting your attention to the visions you have of a life and world that is filled with love, connection, abundance, care and joy. As you let yourself feel that in this now moment, you are guided more and more to any actions to take support that vision.
3rd dimensional consciousness just doesn’t have the support it used to, so hanging onto how you thought life should look, what the rules were, creates more suffering.
Give yourself the gift of loving attention, inside and out, and call in all the support you need, seen and unseen, for your highest good, highest service, with grace and ease. Each time you consciously choose this, you wake up more into your multi-dimensional highest self, your soul, and into New Earth.
Photo by Robert Baker on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
The urge to clear out my space has amplified over the past few weeks. Specifically, I have not just the urge to remove physical items from my home, but fleeting images of all my physical belongings suddenly disappearing, like due to a fire. That image thrills and excites me with a sense of freedom.
Clearing out space isn’t just about physical possessions of course. It’s the old stories, beliefs and judgments that no longer serve the highest outcome of the self and the collective. It’s all those emotions that have been locked away or pushed aside, that we try hard not to let loose yet also can feel out of control of. We may judge them as negative (anxiety, fear, anger) and other times deem them socially inappropriate (bliss, high levels of love and enthusiasm, bursts of childlike joy). Clearing space includes detoxifying the physical body and the habits we have, in thought, word or action, that actually don’t lift or light us up.
It could be overwhelming, but doesn’t need to be, for each small change effects the whole. It’s not a race or competition. All the information on how others are successfully shifting is meant to inspire you, meant for you to discern what you might want to add to your unique recipe of stepping into your highest expression of YOU.
Those judgments on how you and others live their lives, that you or they should be doing things better, differently, more or less, is one of the most important things being cleared out.
The last part of this year, 2018, is quite intense an offers a choice point in each moment. The collective is swinging toward the path of dark, of separation, fear, anger, hate and fighting opposing viewpoints. We start within and shift the collective by our example.
For me, I am called to be even more intentional. The dedication and alignment with my mission to be of service to the world is all day, every day. I set alarms on my phone to remind myself to re-align. I use the most basic practices I have throughout the day to reset into the highest expression of my true divine self and highest service. When I catch myself in old habits of thinking or acting, even consciously choosing to continue with that habit in the moment, I practice compassion and forgiveness.
These are challenging times, and the pull to the Dark Side is strong. However, the opening toward the Light is equally available, yet often more subtle. It is subtle because it is natural. Heaven on Earth is actually a deep experience and truth inside your heart of how things were always meant to be. It’s uncomfortable, because you’ve gotten used to functioning in darkness and density, understanding how to navigate successfully (or at least survive) a world that is now crumbling (yippee!). New Earth reconnects us with our natural state as Divine Humans, living in unity with all of creation. The “new” is what we are creating together as natural co-creators in a reality of abundance and care for All.
In order to step into the new, the old must be released by your free will choice.
Whatever you are drawn to clear out, do it, NOW! It might be physical items in your home you aren’t using, are in the back of the closet forgotten about, or that no longer align with who you are now. Clearing out will have you be able to see more clearly and let more light in.
There are many ways to bring in more light. Surround yourself with things that feed your soul and awakening.
Externally, take a look at what you see and hear. Does the music your listen to or the things you watch on the television or read on the internet fill you with love, joy, peace, compassion and gratitude? Are there any items in your home that bring you down when you see them, such as items you aren’t using but think you “should”? Are there any foods you are eating that you sense don’t fully support your body? Are there any people you connect with regularly that drain you consistently or that you don’t feel fully supported by?
If you are reading this, you want to embody more Light and choose to create New Earth. It’s time to be intentional and brave. Each of us tips the collective balance into the Light. You are needed, exactly as you are right now, with all those old habits in thought, word and action coming more strongly into your awareness because they are actually clearing out!
Use your ability to command and create. When you notice the pull to judge yourself or others, feel doubtful, hopeless, overwhelmed, anxious, angry or depressed, you have the birthright to choose a different path. You have free will, regardless of circumstance, to shift the way you feel and experience yourself and your life. Call in your multi-dimensional self, your Higher Self, your Divine team, your angels, your Galactic Family, Divine Mother and Father, Source. Call in Light, however you imagine it, crystalline diamond golden light, opening your fields and heart to the Light.
Spiritual practice does not need to be complex. Any moment you think of it, you can call in Light. You can place your hands on your heart and breathe in ease, bringing to mind someone you deeply love and appreciate. Just breathe. It only takes a minute.
Overwhelm is strong these days, and your awakening doesn’t need to be yet another laundry list of things to do. Like clearing out the items or clutter in your home, it could be one item at a time, or a drawer or closet. Sure, it would be great if all that stuff just suddenly disappeared like in my imagined fire, but it doesn’t usually work that way.
What clearing out does take is being intentional. The best time for this is upon waking. Whether you meditate, express gratitude, set your intention for the day, journal, do yoga, or pray, the short time you take in the morning is extremely powerful.
Things are shifting so very quickly now, and the desire to hold onto the old is amplified. Please, be compassionate with yourself and others and know we are all truly doing the best that we can.
Photo by Darren Nunis on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
One of our greatest challenges can show up when our loved ones are suffering. In our deep care, love and desire to be of service, feelings of helplessness, sorrow, frustration, blame or even anger can arise. You might notice you want to fix them, lecture them, match their energetic state because you think it will make it better for them somehow, save them or just wrap your hands around their neck and say, “Wake up! Can’t you see how you can feel better?”
It’s often easier when a loved one is suffering due to an “external” circumstance: a car accident, a death of a loved one, illness, a job loss, unexpected financial burdens or some sort of stress caused in their external environment. Personally, I know that suffering is not caused from any situation or experience. Crappy things happen that don’t feel good, yes. However, the suffering I am speaking of is not caused from situations, rather from our misinterpretations of the nature of reality and ourselves. You’ve surely heard many stories of people thriving, loving, laughing, connecting and feeling gratitude and peace in the most painful of situations, such as in concentration camps. Also, it is also in times of crisis that people shine out most, connecting with their community and families to love and support each other.
Some things to consider when a loved one is suffering:
1. Your Loved One is a Master of Their Life.
No one knows better then your loved one how to traverse their own unique path. You can support them in remembering their own mastery. You can empower them by gifting them with their own path. They’ll take your offer of support, help or advice, or they won’t. It matters not, because it’s not about you, it’s about them. Your loving attention, your compassion, your belief in their ability to come through their suffering, is the most powerful support you can give them. If you reflect on your own life, you might notice that it was your greatest challenges that propelled you to rise up, grow, expand and learn. Don’t you want the same for them? It’s not easy to watch them suffer, especially when you can see the way out of suffering for them, yet this is the path they’ve chosen, and only they can walk it.
2. Forgive Them, They Know Not What They Do.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. This means you are willing to acknowledge that someone is absolutely doing the best they know how, given their state of consciousness at any given time. If you were in their mindset, you too, would behave and experience reality exactly as they are. This forgiveness is not about their actions, but about authentically feeling compassion for them, even if you completely disagree with their choices.
3. Give Your Full Attention.
Put away all distractions and just be present with your loved one. This means not only external distractions like your phone, but internal as well. With each passing year of our busy information age, focused attention is becoming more of a commodity. Listen more. Talk less. Your loved one may or may not want to feel better in the moment. Maybe they just want to vent and complain, and that outlet for their thoughts and feelings might be exactly what they need in the moment. Did they actually ask you for your advice or opinion? Notice your own thoughts while listening: are you analyzing, thinking how to fix their situation or judging them? Take a breath, drop into your heart, and simply give them your full loving attention. Often what someone needs when they’re in a great challenge or crisis is to be comforted and loved.
4. Take Care of Yourself.
Sometimes your own biggest stressor can be in response to a loved one in pain. While taking care of yourself isn’t “number one” in this list, it may well be your most important move when it comes to supporting your loved one. Take time to notice your own response to the suffering of others. This could be a loved one, or something occurring locally or globally. Be honest with your own reactions, thoughts and feelings. Bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself as the witness of others suffering. When you feel stressed, you can only contribute so much to your loved ones. Do whatever you need to shine brightly. Your calm, peaceful and loving energy will be felt by others without you needing to do or say anything. Your heart-centered care gives you a clearer ability to use intelligent concern rather than feel reactive or stressed.
5. Trust Yourself.
In trying to assist a loved one, it can be challenging to know what your best move is that will support them. Should you walk away, be positive and optimistic, agree with them, disagree with them, be gentle or a little rougher, help them, or have them do it on their own? There’s no right answer, for each person needs support in different ways at different times. Not trusting your own choices certainly won’t support them. Know that you are a loving, caring, powerful person and you, too, are doing the best that you can. That is more than enough!
Trusting yourself also means standing in your own truth. Your loved one doesn’t have to agree with you, and you can be radically authentic in your own truth while being loving and compassionate at the same time. You don’t need to compromise your beliefs in order to help others. If you know in you bones and heart that they can heal their bodies, find the perfect job or home, thrive and have their dreams come true, you can stay solid in your knowing despite their disagreement or proof that says otherwise. You don’t need to argue your point or necessarily even say it aloud, but you also don’t need to give it up. Holding your authentic vision is transformative and of great contribution.
6. Envision Their Success.
There are many ways to energetically support a loved one, such as prayer, sending blessings, or using visualization techniques. Remember that they have their own free will, and your support is not forced upon them, taken only if their souls truly want it.
In a relaxed and calm state, imagine that your loved one has come through the other side of their challenge. Use your senses, sight, sound, feeling, to envision in the present moment their success and happiness. Notice, in the present moment, how they are feeling, talking and acting from this accomplishment. Notice how you feel witnessing their triumph and things working out for them. In alignment with their free will and the highest good of all, let that now go out into the universe to manifest, maybe even better than you could imagine on your own.
If you’re the type of person (and most of us are!) who wants to fix other people’s problems, this is a great way to use that desire without disempowering your loved one or feeling upset if they don’t take your advice. We really are all connected, and your powerful ability to create can be used to shift the experience of others if this is truly what their own soul desires.
Know that your love is the greatest support you can give to your loved ones. Your unwavering love, the true greeting of Namaste, that love that sees the beauty and divine perfection of your beloved in all their moods, thoughts and reactions, contributes and transforms their suffering, whether you see evidence of that in the moment or not.
Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
These updates are a description of my personal insights and experiences. We are all connected and in truth One Heart, so I share this with you to let you know what you are experiencing, in your unique way, is happening in the collective and that we are all in this together. All that you do truly serves all willing hearts and Gaia.
Things are heating up, literally and figuratively. Lion’s gate occurs each year on August 8th, holding the energies of fire, lion and the number 8. It is an energy presenting that supports claiming your true heart and soul’s empowerment. It can also bring up issues, especially in the 3rd chakra, around power struggles, the ego’s need to control, and self-doubt.
The New Moon and Partial Solar Eclipse on August 11th offers even more support for our upliftment and that heart-centered spiritual warrior energy that says, “I call forth...I command…I am committed, grounded and in union with Divine Will.”
There is so much support this month to release old habits that are outdated and no longer serve your soul’s desire and mission. You know what these are, as when you notice them, you notice you are not uplifted, happy, peaceful or joyful when operating in them (or at least afterward).
You may be drawn to shift some habits, big or small. Cultivating a willingness to be honest with yourself, to notice these habits, notice the pull and draw of them, is a powerful shift in and of itself. It sort of feels like the pull of the Dark Side, the habit of interpreting things as bad and wrong the way they are, and then going into fear, complaint, anxiety, tension, helplessness or anger. You’ll notice that the pull, while still presenting, loses its power, as staying committed to trusting Life, connecting to your divine nature, and reaching up to a higher vibration becomes more of the norm.
A different approach to those outdated habits, beliefs and thoughts is called for this month.
The ego is not something to control, for the need to control is the ego in action. Instead, know that whatever arises is actually presenting to be released from its false prison of separation back into the oneness of Light and Source. You can ease the ego’s need to find problems and dangers by bringing those denser emotions, stress and upset (especially present in the Solar Plexus 3rd Chakra) into your heart. The ego wants safety, and truly your power lies in allowing your heart and soul, connected with Source, to embrace the part of you that still believes your are alone, outcast, unwanted, not enough, unsafe and unloved.
Simply be willing to try on that when upsetting feelings, actions or words occur in your reality from within or without, they are actually coming into the Light! They are being released. There is nowhere to get to but right here and now, and with your loving compassionate attention, breathing in ease and peace, all is truly well.
Forgiveness and compassion, like in July, are still on the table this month. These powerful practices naturally open the space for true gratitude and appreciation.
August is also a time of strong building energy of the “New You” presenting. Strange experiences around time may be occurring as timelines shift and offer new higher possibilities for yourself and the world. You may be feeling, with a sense of anticipation yet mystery, “Something is changing,” “Something new is coming.” Let go of the pressure of time and space that says to hurry up, or that a window of opportunity will close if you don’t do something now. Instead, if you know the change you wish to experience, declare is already done, see it already done, and entrust it to the Universe to manifest even better than you could imagine alone. If you are uncertain of the changes ahead yet can feel them presenting, ask the Universe to guide and show you the way. Follow the guidance of your heart, even if scary, new and unknown.
Just because opportunities arise doesn’t mean you need to take them. Check in with your heart and be honest with how you feel about what is being offered. Your emotional body and responses, when centered in connection with your heart and soul, can be trusted. Your willingness to face your old habits with loving attention and commitment to a higher timeline that serves the greatest good for all will call you into the new. The new may not be a huge change, such as in where you live, your career or your relationships. Any small change, seemingly insignificant even, shifts the whole.
Enjoy the mystery and pleasant surprise of unfolding in the new this month. Dedicate yourself to your highest vision and values, with an openness to experiencing new and unknown territory. As you do, the magical adventure of life grounds into being “normal”, as you walk this earth in love, reverence and service to All – all of you, all of your experiences, Gaia, humanity, and all beings everywhere.
If drawn, use the energies of fire and water, the cleansing and transmuting energy available in both, such as the Violet Flame, being in water or near water.
(Regarding the Violet Flame, and the keepers of the flame, St. Germain and Archangel Zadkiel:
There are various ways to invoke the Violet Flame. No one way is better than another. I recommend doing a search on YouTube and following the pull of your heart and intuition as to which one to try.)
Photo by Ivan Diaz on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
As we approached the Lunar Eclipse last week, I knew that the boulders on the mountain a group of us planned to be on that day had something to share with me.
Walking up to a peak, I was feeling calm, enthusiastic and playful.
Sitting on one of the boulders, surrounded in redwood trees, I placed my hands on the boulder and closed my eyes. I was surprised to feel a very intense vibration coming from the boulder, that buzzing vibrating feel. I expected to feel a grounded, heavy, solid, strong and stable energy – you know, like a rock!
The boulder shared with me about the vulnerability of the earth.
“The vulnerability?” I thought. Sure, I’ve understood that we are all connected, that the earth herself is going through what we are, and how we affect the earth not just physically but also energetically. However, I had it that Gaia, a powerful amazing being, could take care of herself. She’s already in fifth dimensional consciousness. If we’d just live more sustainably, she’ll take care of her own healing.
After the boulder spoke, I was drawn to bring in light, to breathe into my heart and call forth pure divine light and send it and my love into this boulder and into the core of Gaia.
Almost immediately, the energy of the boulder shifted. No more buzzy vibration, but instead, it became calm, peaceful, solid and grounded.
This powerful experience reminds me that we very much have a responsibility as caretakers of our beloved Gaia.
Gaia is “at effect” of the consciousness of humanity. She is in the ever present now moment, and does not operate the same as we do in our consciousness. She lives in the natural truth of reality, while we use our free will to choose where our attention is, how we interpret reality and what reality we choose to live in moment by moment.
In these extremely intense and transformational times, it’s easy to be pulled into the density of separation, scarcity, judgment and fear. When we ourselves are feeling the effect of that, be it anxiety, anger or other dense emotions (and taking them on as “truth” instead of just letting them flow through), we are giving this energy to the earth.
Want to have a pulse on humanity and the collective consciousness on the planet? You need only look to what is happening in nature. She’s doing her best to “let off steam”, such as through earthquakes, fires and volcanic activity. She’s extremely strong, and also highly sensitive.
Being a caretaker of the earth means to tread lightly, in all ways. One way we can powerfully support our home is to literally bring in more light. This is the light of unconditional love, of Source, of deep compassion, care and peace.
Our bodies, too, are earth, so we may be drawn to consume lightly, be it in use of resources or in the way we eat.
Truly, love and light are our most powerful resources in co-creating New Earth. She needs us as much as we need her. With a willingness to merge and unify with her, to take personal responsibility for our world and reality, we become the stewards of our beloved home.
Photo by Chris Angel on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
The powerful energy presenting now is very supportive in our ascension process. It can be used to propel us into greater states of ease, flow, peace, gratitude, trust, abundance and well-being. However, it is a propelling energy, and therefore can be used to go deeper into the density of fear, anger, helplessness and anxiety.
Therefore this time is calling us to choose powerfully, moment by moment.
It matters not what is occurring in your reality. What matters is your interpretation of any events, internal or external, that are happening now.
It is your divinely given freedom and power to choose the reality you wish to live in.
Why are things challenging, filled with pain or loss, such fear, anger, hate or abuse?
These things are experienced to propel you to choose a different reality. This is done with your consciousness: your ability to choose and interpret the reality you live in.
Science says observation, concrete measurable repeatable observation, shows us reality. However, it is the observer and where their attention is, what their expectations and beliefs are, that create that reality. This has been shown time and again by the placebo effect as well as experiments in which the experimenter has a theory or hypothesis and the results of that experiment depend on the outcome the experimenter expects to see.
We think our beliefs are based on evidence, but the truth is, we believe something and then gather the evidence to back the belief. Seek and ye shall find, and, just to make the game more challenging, in this time there are a lot of false and partial truths to gather as your "evidence". Within you is your ability to use spiritual discernment to find Divine Truth, one of connection, unity, love and abundance for all.
Right now, use your power of choice to look for, see and feel the reality you wish to live in. Dig into how you want to experience reality. How you want to feel. Instead of goals, such as no physical illness or more money, focus on your state of being, such as vibrant health and abundance. Keep your eyes on the divine at all times, and in truth, you will experience those high vibe New Earth states, no matter the circumstance.
Let the rest wash over you, give it to Source, thanking it for propelling you to choose higher vibrational thoughts and emotions. Love is the call, and with it, compassion and forgiveness.
That compassion will soften your view, allowing you to more easily access peace and trust. Things stay around as long as they need to and we truly are all doing the best we can, so be compassionate with yourself and others.
This is time of great empowerment and awakening, of magic and miracles, and can truly be used to create the reality and world you wish to live in. Imagine the future you are living into and feel it right here, right now.
This is the call, and when you feel the density inside pulling you down, you can say, “Aha, thank you! I choose love, I choose trust, I choose…” Choose to put your attention on what you want rather than what you don’t want, and as you do so, you transform the world into a better place for All, assisting all willing hearts to awaken into the truth of reality and who they are.
This is not complicated, though our minds like to make things quite complex. Your heart knows the way. Breathe into your heart, your full attention in your heart, and call forth what you are wanting, be it ease, peace, connection or support. Here is a simple technique from HeartMath you can use anytime you’re experiencing those stressful feelings and reactions.
by Julianne Kulosa
Affirmations became popular in the late 1980’s with Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life”. Over time, they, and the New Age Movement, have gotten a pretty bad rap.
Affirmations are often considered wishful thinking at best, or at worst, a lazy person’s way to try to create what they want while sitting on the couch and taking no action out in the world.
What are Affirmations?
They are repeated thoughts, statements and proclamations. Often defined as “positive”, the truth is, any repeated thought, word, or mantra is an affirmation.
There’s a reason things might not seem to go the way you want them too, despite your best efforts. It’s called your subconscious programming, aka The Matrix. Operating out of your conscious awareness, this programming was created when you were a child. You learned, by watching others, how to think, feel, behave and understand your world.
The brain waves of children are in a lower frequency of consciousness, meaning the electrical activity patterns recorded in the EEG. From about age two to six, children are predominantly in a Theta brain wave state, which can be likened to hypnosis. This means children, with wide open imaginations, are in a superior learning state and highly open to suggestion.
As adults, we spend a vast majority of our days (some say up to 98%) operating from subconscious patterns.
These deeply engrained habits and beliefs about ourselves and the world can easily trump a positive thought here and there.
HOWEVER, there are ways we can shift these automatic ways of being, one being through creating new conscious habits.
How do you know your subconscious is running the show? Take a look at any area of your life where you feel stuck or powerless, where despite your best efforts, you keep seeming to do the same thing, experiencing the same things, over and over.
The Power of Conscious Choice
Affirmations are like any new habit or learning experience. With repetition, the brain is re-wired. How long will it take? Well, you might want to create an affirmation around that, such as, “All is unfolding at the perfect time for my highest good,” or “I trust the process of life,” because if you’ve found yourself often feeling you need to hurry up and get somewhere, and there’s something wrong with you if you’re not there yet, there’s a good chance that’s some of your subconscious programming. Good to notice!
Have faith and patience with your affirmations. Ideally, set aside specific time every day to repeat those affirmations. There are plenty to go around if you’re looking for inspiration, and any words can be used as a mantra during meditation.
Shirts, plaques around the house and sticky notes are awesome, but how often do you actually see and say the words aloud or silently? Purposefully repeating those affirmations daily will benefit you most.
While you might choose a general affirmation to repeat silently, aloud, to yourself in the mirror or to write in journal such as, “I love you,” “All is Well,” or “I am grateful for…,” consider starting to pay more attention to those areas you are feeling stuck. What are most common statements and viewpoints that keep repeating in that area when you notice your thoughts? You can counter those with their opposite, even if at first you might just state, “It’s possible…”
No, you don’t have to believe it at first. You might start with just being open to the possibility. Just repeat, repeat and repeat again. We learn through practice and repetition. Would it be so horrible to repeat consciously for the rest of your life, “I am abundant,” “I am safe and loved,” or “I trust life and the universe”? The worst that could happen is that you notice all the thoughts and beliefs that insist the opposite is true. That noticing gives you power to choose again. What world do you want to live in?
Any positive affirmation is great. A change in one area shifts the whole, so you don’t have to choose 20 affirmations to do a day or feel overwhelmed. An affirmation is not a lazy way to produce change. It is an assertion or declaration about something, and it will affect your choices, actions and responses in the world. Your choosing to habitually state, imagine and feel in present moment terms (“I am” as compared to “I will”) really can assist you in waking up out of the illusion and limitations of the Matrix.
Affirmations are a powerful tool to use in your spiritual awakening process. They aren’t “shoulds” or “have to’s”, but rather a great option, should you be drawn to use them, as you awaken in your unique and perfect way.
Photo by Daiga Ellaby on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
I had a flash not too long ago I’d like to share with you. You know those flashes – they’re so profound when you get them, even if afterward they feel a little fuzzy or have been forgotten entirely. Then you remember you’ve heard it before, in various ways from various people. Nonetheless, you just got that flash in your heart, in your soul, in your bones. It’s one thing to get it intellectually, it’s another to embody it.
Getting that we are multi-dimensional beings and that everything is divine and connected (aka unity consciousness) are two important concepts and descriptions of 5th Dimensional Consciousness and New Earth.
Love and Light are keywords, so much so for me that I got them tattooed on my wrists to remind me of my Prime Directive.
I had been using Light as a tool, bringing in Light, sending out Light and blessings, connecting to Source through that ever present beam of divine Light connected between us and Source, and connecting to the heart of Gaia.
This year, I’ve been drawn to choosing to merge with Source and Gaia, to merge with my multi-dimensional nature, Higher Self, I Am presence – all of me. However, in the idea of “merging”, I experienced a disconnect.
While I learned how to “run energy” in my late teens, basically bringing in Source light through the top of my head and grounding into the earth and bringing her energy up into me and cycling that light and energy through specific energy channels of the body, I never thought of it as unifying or merging. Things like workshops in non-duality, meditation, and deepening my understanding of unity consciousness led me to experiences of oneness, yes.
The word merging brought up for me those thoughts and subsequent feelings that I’m not enough and the thought, “Who am I to think I can merge with God and with Gaia?” As I’ve practiced my willingness and openness to merge, it’s certainly become easier. Easier in the sense of feeling empowered inside enough to say, “Gaia, how can I better care for you today? Life, how may I serve you? God, please guide me today, to see you, hear you, feel you more clearly, to do your Will.” In the past I’d asked these things, yet sometimes felt helpless, that not good enough feeling to even deserve that kind of clarity of my service or my mission. You know the feeling, “God, I pray, please help me, though I’m not sure I deserve it,” feeling that powerlessness as a mere selfish human, at the effect of not-so-good experiences in yourself and in the world.
The flash I felt, and subsequent thoughts told me, “This is about merging with all of you. Unity consciousness begins within you, merging with and including all of your multi-dimensional nature.”
Yes, I already got that it’s been about loving yourself, all of you. But this was more about bringing in Light. As I’ve done clearing or releasing, regardless of technique, I’ve done so with, “Thank you, I love you.”
But there’s been this sense of “never enough” present, that all that clearing and releasing will be unending. As I become more aware of those programs, thoughts, judgments or deep wounds, I’ll notice there’s still more. Even in the desire to love it all, to know All in Well and in divine order, all to be loved, there’s the sense that my judgments, lack, fear, reactivity and habits that are “lower vibe and need to be seen and released” won’t ever go away completely.
Furthermore, I can’t count how many people, techniques or courses have made the promise of, “Do this and it will be gone forever…your problems, your doubts, your blocks, your habits etc.” Or how many people I’ve heard or read about that seem to have “gotten rid” of those feelings, thoughts or problems forever.
I call bullshit.
New Earth and 5th dimensional consciousness does not change the dualistic nature of a physical universe, a physical earth. The nature of being human is that we have the ability to choose how we interpret and respond our experiences, where we place our consciousness. These experiences give us an opportunity to choose compassion, love, care, peace, trust, joy and service. In the consciousness of 5D, those more “3D” fears, doubts, and feelings of lack and separation aren’t “gone”, they just don’t have power anymore, and are easier to move through because you are in a very different vantage point of those experiences.
Nature shows us the way. Are you overwhelmed with grief by witnessing the cycle of birth and death as a flower grows and then withers and dies? Are you appalled by the way animals hunt, kill and eat other, or fight to gain being alpha of the pack or to get their mate? Have you ever seen a petition or rally against stopping the earth’s earthquakes or volcanoes? Unless you put human labels on nature’s way, it is just the nature of the circle of life. So, too, are all parts of you and your experiences, just cycles and experiences. Not good nor bad, but all to be chosen as reason to lift up into the Light of seeing all as Divine, all to be loved, respected, held with deep compassion and brought into that Light.
That FLASH about merging felt so good because I got that those things coming up, the wounds, the judgments, the pain, aren’t “supposed” to go away. It matters not. What allows that Light to come in is getting my own unity consciousness, that all of me is whole, interconnected and One with All.
One with ALL INSIDE ME.
There’s no “clearing it out” really, it’s all just metaphors and ways to make the ride easier and more fun. It’s more about transformation than clear-cutting, though sometimes it can look that way when the fire inside burns down the forest (or external things in your life) so the phoenix (True Divine You!) can rise from the ashes.
I can include all of me in 5D. That includes me in all dimensions, which includes the doubtful me, judgmental me, “bad habits” me, anxious me or angry me. Striving to be a loving, kind and caring person, yet then seeing how I’m selfish, mean or hurtful to others or the planet has made it challenging to include that on my list of "including all" in unity consciousness inside of me.
Because 5D is about unity, that includes my own judgments and preferences. It’s just fine to think, “I hate that about myself.” Can I include that into my heart and embrace that judgment with love? Why yes, yes I can! This is embodying Light – admitting that you came here as a Divine Spark and are that NOW, not only if you reach some standard of measurement. When you don’t try to push anything away or get rid of anything, you then are in this awesome space of inner power. You can just have that thought, and yet its power is lost, the power to dim your Light inside, because when you get that it’s ALL light, All Divine, All United inside of YOU, then you can just use your freewill to align with Source, to focus on your true heart’s desire, your deepest values, and the reality you want to live in right now, not one day.
Source casts out nothing and loves unconditionally always. Aligning with Source God, then, means bringing that love to All aspects of You. There are no rules or regulations of how a Light-filled 5D human should act or be. Chuck those out the window, because they just put into a box what is in unity and what is not (wait – there’s that separation again).
We are learning about transcending duality, about the possibility of living in a universe that has duality, yes, the yin and the yang, yet operating from a place that merges rather than separates from that duality. It is because we live in a reality of such duality, be it in nature, perspective, belief, action, thought or emotion, that we are propelled into moving beyond the illusion of separation. Oneness and unity is the greater reality, and we really can live there and experience duality, that juicy diversity, at the same time.
You’ve been there, such as in an intimate experience you’ve had with a loved one where you’ve bared your soul and felt safe, seen and loved.
You might try on being willing to merge. Just willing. Willing to merge with all parts of yourself, willing to merge with God/Source, and willing to merge with Gaia. Allow this willingness to merge assist you in more easily holding the loving space for all the darkness inside to be seen as what is asking to be embraced back into your Light and the divinity of your soul. Even in those hardest moments, when your mind is incessantly chattering negative judgments that feel so true and powerful in your emotional body, you can just call in Divine Light. Imagine it filling all of you (that willingness to merge…) - your body, your “ego”, your soul, your emotions, your mind, all of multi-dimensional you. You can ask for support and assistance from the Universe.
It only takes a small recognition, a spark of light, a breath into your heart, to reunite with and remember the You that experiences Divine Union with All by bringing love to All of You.
Photo by Joe deSousa on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
With the Partial Solar Eclipse coming up on Thursday the 12th and the longest Lunar Eclipse of the 21st century on Friday the 27th, this makes for an intense and rich month.
In this second week of July, the question is, how are you doing? How are you feeling?
All the energy supporting our process can propel us into whatever direction we’re already headed or choosing to focus on.
Deeper feelings, especially around belonging, may be arising.
Over the past week, I’ve been doing the Forgiveness practice I mentioned in my last blog. One day something very unexpected occurred. It was as if every memory I had that prompted any person I’d written down to forgive gave me proof that I’m not likeable. Somehow that felt worse than not being loveable. Regardless the role I played, such as friend, mom, sister, wife or teacher, any actions from others in my direction, were proof that I’m not likeable and people have no interest in being around me. Whoah! Intense!
With my tools in place, I moved through this journey. Even as I felt such strong emotions and negative thoughts, another part of me knew this was just crazy talk. There is no one on earth I would deem as definitively unlikeable! As I brought in light and was willing to merge with Source and Gaia, without the goal to get rid of my experience but rather to handle the ride with more love, compassion and truth, the experience subsided more quickly than I expected.
This month is a call for forgiveness and compassion. It also brings the promise, should you choose to use this month’s supportive energy, of true empowerment, divine truth and insights, and greater flow into each Now moment.
Whatever you are experiencing, give space for yourself. Energy comes in waves, so some days you’ll feel energized, and others maybe more emotional, tired or foggy. It is intense, so self-care is key, along with anything that has you feel grounded and stable.
We are all, in our way and timing, waking up more and more. Trust that all that is occurring truly is to propel you into your awakening to the beautiful perfection of YOU, to the truth of your Divine ancestry and what is means to be a fully awake as a Divine Human. Ask for support, guidance and assistance from your Higher Self, the Universe and Source. The Universe is listening! Know that as you care for and support your own process, you do so for Gaia and humanity.
The intensity of this month can feel quite “full” in beautiful full-filling ways, be it in a busy schedule, or busy within. Celebrate! You can access the peace available, the stability of the peace available in each moment if you simply ask for or want it, even as time-space reality is quickening.
Know that you are loved and needed here. You belong here. Let your self-care practices be chosen in alignment with your values and desire to thrive and contribute, not because you’re supposed to or have to do anything. Judgmental and negative thoughts, painful emotions like outrage, helplessness, separation and fear are things you can notice and choose to bring compassion to.
In each moment, you always have a choice. Choose Love.
by Julianne Kulosa
Depression is one of the most common experiences in spiritual awakening, yet has many interpretations or definitions. It’s a catch-all phrase, “depression”. What does it mean exactly?
It’s different than grief, which is also a part of your process. Depression tends to include low self-esteem and feelings of guilt, powerlessness and helplessness.
Things to Consider:
1. You are Confronting Your Deepest Core Wounds and Awakening
You chose to become more conscious and aware, and with that comes all the patterns, beliefs, trauma and pain that you previously more easily suppressed. Depression can come in waves, without apparent reason, as things bubble up.
A shift in perspective can give you great relief. Instead of thinking something is wrong with you, that you are broken or not enough, or that these old patterns or reactions to life should already be gone, you can look at each unexpected feeling, thought or reaction as another part of you that is finally coming up to your awareness to be seen. Those hidden away dark parts of you are saying, “Thank you! I’m ready to be seen and loved and released back to Source, into Oneness, into the Light!”
Those very thoughts that often have you feel depressed or intensify your depression are actually the core wounds, the buried, hurt, scared and alone parts of yourself that need to come up to be released with your loving attention.
When such fears or negative self-talk arises, don’t believe everything you think!
The ancient Essenes noticed 2500 years ago that our experiences, internally and externally are neutral. They don’t become good or bad until we judge those experiences, until we perceive those experiences through the lens our past experiences and our beliefs. So know that just because you believe something, it doesn’t make it true. It is your free will choice to decide what’s true for you in any moment, or not.
It is so important to practice being gentle with yourself at these times, for if you fight or judge what you are feeling, it only serves to have that part of yourself want to retreat back into the darkness.
I’m adding in this video because it is important to know that you are not alone in your feelings and thoughts. This is the human condition, regardless of what others may be hiding from your view (or unaware of inside themselves). Your process is about waking up from the illusion of the ego.
Warning: this video is a re-enactment of the ego and is pretty intense. Know that all those thoughts that seem so true are coming into your awareness to give you freedom from them running your life on automatic.
2. Powerful Feelings of Doubt
As you are adjusting to your higher self and true nature, there can be a feeling of great doubt. Part of you knows all is well, connected to a bigger picture and higher truth, yet a powerful doubt is also present, that doubt in yourself and what you are experiencing.
Doubt, spiraling downward into helplessness, self-loathing, guilt and meaninglessness, can feel very out of control. This is the time to be extremely gentle with yourself. Again, remember you are not alone, and many others are going through and have gone through what you are experiencing.
Your doubt can seem much more real and truthful than your “positive” attitudes. Acknowledge that you feel the way you do and are having the experience you are having. Giving yourself space to authentically have those waves of doubt move through, open your heart into the Truth of reality, and then choose that reality more powerfully.
3. A Desire to Isolate Yourself
Solitude is an important aspect of your spiritual awakening. You need time with yourself to connect into your true nature. As your sensitivity raises, you also need space to center, ground and integrate. There is no right or wrong amount of time that you’ll feel a need for solitude, be it hours, days, months or years.
However, this can be sometimes leave you feeling lonely and separate, with a sense of longing for connection with others.
In your solitude, you are connecting. You are remembering and connecting to your true divine nature and your higher self. You are connecting to Source, to the Earth, to your guides, angels and Star Family. At some point, even feeling a connection to nature or divine guides may drop out. This is because you are called to connect to divine YOU within, not because you are alone. The path of awakening truly is about loving yourself.
When you feel alone, you can call upon guides and angels to surround you more closely. You can hold crystals and connect with them for support. You can read others experiences to know you are not alone.
You are never alone. This is the truth.
The collective, meaning the major percentage of people on the planet right now, are not interested in “awakening” and are solidly living in the old paradigm. This split can feel huge and separating. If you can, connect with others such as in group meditations in person, or even on-line.
Solitude is a beautiful and necessary thing, having you get to know yourself in all your many aspects with loving compassion. As you do, you will have a felt experience that you are truly connected to everyone and everything, able to open to that unity, merging and connection more and more.
In the meantime, choose to do things you enjoy. Get some connection with others in a way that lifts you up, be it with friends, in a class, Meetup, church, dog park, or at the grocery store. Find anything that brings you joy in the moment, for as much as you are waking up from the illusion, this planet, is an amazing and fun place to live, and is meant to be a playground for your enjoyment as you take care of it and yourself!
4. Feeling the Collective
Every human is feeling the shift occurring, and the energies that support this shift. Every human is doing their job perfectly, be it the first wave, the second wave (those recently awakening to a greater truth about reality), or the third wave of those grounding the process by holding the density of 3rd dimensional consciousness so that we may more gracefully embody light in the physical.
Simply acknowledging that you are feeling the global collective consciousness can ease your personal challenges. It gives space for you to lighten up on yourself, the stories you tell yourself about why you feel the way you do, or that you should be feeling differently. It is not just you, and you are a compassionate sensitive soul. Give yourself space to take care of yourself and to feel into your ability to sense the collective and then step away from it. The collective viewpoint right now is deep in density, in fear, separation and anger. Knowing this, you can choose to not play in that energy. You always have choice.
Here, in the awareness of the collective, is a great opportunity for relief. Not only can you acknowledge your great intuitive ability and connection to others, you can acknowledge that because of that connection, all that you do, all the inner work, effects the collective. You are being of great contribution to the planet by dealing with your personal stuff. Your willingness to be aware of and release your own inner wounds does this for all people everywhere, making their journeys easier. Just as if you want a world of peace, you be the peace inside of you. Thank you!
5. Feeling Intense Energy Surges
The energy and light assisting you is random and unpredictable. One moment you’re feeling really high, meaning spiritually. You feel that union and connection, sometimes so much that tears flow freely from such love in your heart. The next moment you feel depressed and very low. You’ve just got to know, have faith, that this will pass.
Will it always be like this? No. But there is no need to try to rush the process or think you should be more centered in a peaceful state at all times. Trust your process of awakening. Take care of yourself along the way, doing whatever you can to support where you are in any moment. Trying to make your depression go away because you don’t think you should feel that way isn’t going to assist you. Life is supporting you always. There is a divine plan. This is when trust and faith will assist you most, that this too shall pass and it is an important part of your spiritual awakening, even if you don’t like it or understand it.
It’s time to get used to these random changes in your feelings and prepare for these shifts. Instead of looking for the “why” am I feeling this way, which can lead to the rabbit hole of what’s wrong with you and your life, each time that “depressed” feeling arises, you can trust that it’s just energy you are experiencing. You get to choose how to use that energy, moment by moment. Will it propel you up into more awakening or down into deeper density?
What is there to do about it? Energy is creative, so you might want to use that energy to do something that expresses your creativity. Draw, paint, dance, sing, cook, garden, write a poem, play an instrument. Try something new. Creativity isn’t just in the “art” arena – it is in business, in the sciences, in the day-to-day organization and new solutions you find. Set your intention in the morning: what are you creating today?
Take care of yourself and do whatever you need to uplift you, even if it’s “socially unacceptable”, be it sleep, rest, shorter work hours or a day off, bathe, take a walk, be in nature, meditate, drink more water, or eat cleaner food.
6. Feeling Empty: The Eternal Now Moment and the Void
You asked for it: living in your heart, committed to the path of awakening and to pure divine Love, brings in a feeling of emptiness. It can feel blissful, or stressful, or like depression. Some would say that depression is depressed creativity. This can be challenging when your creative slate feels blank. Life can feel pointless, with no direction, and with little passion, enthusiasm or drive. We are so used to being driven, busy and productive.
That feeling of emptiness is actually a neutral energy of pure potential, pure creativity. It holds all possibilities in this moment. Zero point. Is it no wonder it feels empty? Could you really handle experiencing all dimensions, insights, timelines, and knowledge all at once? Our awakening isn’t in one big burst. We integrate more light and love at a pace our bodies can handle. And yes, sometimes it can just feel empty and meaningless.
Know you are tapping into pure love and light, all and nothing. Peace. There is a peace available here, and that depression has the potential to shift into peacefulness. It is only your interpretation and judgment of what you are experiencing that says otherwise, as you also confront those fears and doubts of your ego and core wounds.
7. You are Shifting, and Thus is Who You Think You Are and What You are Doing With Your Life
As your true divine self comes to the forefront, you know you are here for a reason, a mission, yet may have no idea what that is. Having a meaning, a purpose in life, is so important, and the uncertainty can be extremely challenging. Waking up into New You can be scary and fearful, as anything new and mysterious often is.
Without the “what’s next” in sight, letting go of the outdated, the familiar, the comfortable, can be painful. It’s similar to #4, in that feeling of meaninglessness.
What’s asked of you is to have faith. Trust that as you open to releasing the security of who you thought you were, you are totally supported and taken care of by life. It’s okay that you’re no longer interested in some things, that your path is at a standstill, or that those things you were attached to, be it people, career, interests, might abruptly fall away. You are not your interests, your hobbies, your career or knowledge base, your personality or your past. You certainly are not your physical possessions or your money in the bank.
Ask for support and clarity, from your higher self, your heart, Source, your divine support like your angels and Galactic Family. Your next steps will come, and with greater ease when you trust that this cycle of emptying out is an important part of your path. Again, have faith: New Earth, New You. You are so loved and supported, always! Take this time to listen. Then listen more. Let guidance take as much time as it needs to, and find anyway possible to enjoy your life right now.
8. Dark Night of the Soul and Suicidal Thoughts
Spiritual crisis is a normal part of the spiritual awakening process. It can show up in different and scary ways. This includes suicidal thoughts, and in these moments it’s imperative to find support and know you are not alone.
There may seem no end in sight to the confronting thoughts and feelings that are coming up. Your deepest core wounds arise, traumatic experiences that equate to feeling you are not enough, don’t belong, aren’t important, are bad, broken, alone and separate from everything. This is the illusion you are waking up from, as challenging as it is to experience those thoughts and feelings so strongly. You ARE waking up! The light is coming, and to be able to perceive and accept the light, all of the darkest night, fear, needs to come to your consciousness – to have the light inside of you shined upon it.
Waking up also can be likened to death. You are dying from the personality, the you that says you ARE your personality, and can literally feel like dying. It can also literally feel like going through hell.
The most important thing is to find support.
You are not alone and you are not crazy. You can search the web about spiritual crisis or dark night of the soul. Reach out to loved ones and friends. Pray. Call on your guides and angels. Call a crisis hotline. There is so much support out there, and while you might feel at odds with the traditional psychological model of support, being labeled with various psychological disorders, you might even find support from that perspective too. Your soul knows the way and the universe is here to completely support your process. Be open to however that relief and support shows up for you.
Make a Game Plan
These waves of energy, sometimes feeling like depression, will come again. And that’s okay! If you know this, you can have a plan in place that supports your process. What is happening to you is your process of going from the darkness into the light, or conversely, you could think of it as shining light into the darkness.
Take note of what has you feel centered, grounded, calm, at ease, peaceful and happy. Write it down! This is easiest notice when you are feeling in those states of consciousness, so also reach out for reminders through others, such as loved ones, books, and the web.
There is nothing too small or insignificant that could shift your experience in any moment. A song, a good deed for someone else, a bath, a nap, fresh air and nature, smelling a flower, drinking more water, a massage, a light-hearted video or movie (laughter!), breathing (yes, just noticing your breathing!), a meditation app for your phone, an act of kindness toward another, smiling (just try curling your lips up!), cooking, a phone call, painting or drawing, or simple completed tasks like the laundry.
Take note of any practices you have that you know shift your experience. This could be exercise, be it outdoors, at the gym or in a group class. Note any simple spiritual practices you’ve done that assist you quickly, be it mindfulness meditation, heart-centered practices, group gatherings, or re-framing situations such as asking what would be the most loving positive way to see the situation.
In terms of re-framing, it can be really helpful to look at yourself as if you were looking at a friend, to disengage from your personal experience. If your friend or child, were thinking this way, feeling this way, acting this way, what would you say to them? How would you support them? How would you re-frame their experience in a way that uplifts them, empowers them, or gives them hope and faith?
Here is a wonderful little booklet by Sri Ram Kaa and Kira Raa on a 7-day spiritual cleanse of forgiveness. Forgiveness comes from the heart, knowing that others, and YOU, are always doing the best that they and you can given your state of consciousness at any given time.
Forgiveness: A Self-Guided Journey of Freedom
You are so divine, so amazing and so brave to be here at this time on Earth! Please take heart that this, too, shall pass, all waves and cycles, spiraling upwards into higher light and vibration more and more. Thank you for your contribution to the planet, for coming here on a very important, wonderful yet challenging mission at this unprecedented time. You deserve to enjoy your life, even during these challenges!
Photo by Will Turner on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
I’m walking the dog on a beautiful morning in our neighborhood, noticing the flowers vibrating and singing, and the trees so calming and grounded. I ask Mother Earth, “How may I serve you?” I look up and see a mother walking toward me with her child in a stroller. Her shirt says, “Believe In Miracles.”
Really? Yes, really! Mother Earth, Gaia, a beloved powerful conscious being who takes such nurturing care of us, said to believe in miracles!
For me, this means to believe in the power of our conscious choice to see, feel, think and act in a way that is New Earth. Our consciousness creates miracles. When we align and are willing to merge with New Earth, with the divine nature of Gaia, Life and Source, anything is possible. Truly.
We are miracle makers, we unique humans. The nature of the universe is miraculous, and what makes us unique is our free will choice to be a part of those miracles, or not.
It’s easy to underestimate human potential, given the old paradigm of reality.
When we open up to the truth that we are multi-dimensional beings fully connected to everything, we open to unlimited possibilities of what we can create.
The birds and trees already live in unity consciousness. They are part of the web of creation, yet their design is different than we humans. They don’t need to consciously “create” anything, for they are fully in the present moment flow of the universe.
We, on the other hand, have that choice point in each moment to live in whatever reality we choose to place our consciousness in.
Sure, sounds simple, but you know how challenging this can be with our personal and collective beliefs about what reality is, painful memories, and the evidence in our current reality that says otherwise.
Believe in Miracles.
This means aligning with possibility. The possibility that you or your loved one is already healed and fully healthy NOW. The possibility that the oceans are clean and purified now. The possibility that all children are cared for, bellies full and deeply loved now. The possibility that there is unlimited abundance, an abundance of resources for all, right now.
Mother Earth knows how the game is played, and she is patiently assisting us and holding space for our evolution and remembering.
When we align our thoughts and emotions with a possibility we experience as manifest here and now, miracles occur. We can shift in an instant. The world can shift in an instant.
Be open to magic and miracles, not as some mystical experience something outside yourself is creating nor as something you alone create, but as Magical Divine You aligning and merging with pure divine Source. It’s time to practice and trust this feeling-based technology inside us. We create miracles as we feel, see, be, and then act in this now moment the change we wish to see in the world.
Photo by Nine Köpfer on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Anxiety is a common symptom along the ascension path. It’s particularly easy to find “real world” reasons for feeling anxious, both personally and globally. The first step to easing anxiety, is to become aware of those thoughts that create the feeling. Fears, insecurities and doubts that may be habitual or may be focused toward a particular situation (your finances, relationships, health or state of the world problems) do need to come to light and be seen for what they are: an interpretation or story about yourself and the world. The ego is sly: it can always find proof of something if it is looking for it. At the same time, depending on your state of consciousness at any given time, the world, both inner and outer, shift. One moment you feel like you can’t be with that feeling of anxiety inside, your mind reeling, and after a meditation, exercise, being out in nature, or connecting with a loved one, you feel at ease.
Things To Consider When You Feel Anxiety
1. Everything is Energy
The solar flashes and energy that are supporting the transition into New Earth are becoming stronger and more consistent. Everyone is feeling it, and how they interpret that energy is up to them. Furthermore, as your body shifts to hold more light, it can be a pretty intense ride. It’s natural to feel that energy and want to put a reason to it, to find the problem and solution. It’s also easy to interpret more intense energies, ones that might have you feel buzzy or jittery inside, as nervousness or anxiety. Even excitement can be easily be interpreted as anxiety instead of passion or enthusiasm.
It can be a relief just to remind yourself, “It’s just energy.”
Next, find a way to ground that energy. Stand barefoot on the grass, hug a tree, take a walk in nature, garden, clean, or exercise in any way you enjoy.
I’m reminded of a story from Jack Kornfield. During lunch at a week-long silent meditation retreat, a participant went, well, crazy. He began talking and yelling, jumping on the tables and just being pretty nuts. Jack realized what was happening: this participant was having a lot of energy rise up inside, also known as “kundalini”. He immediately put the man on a different course of rigorous exercise and shifted his diet to denser foods such as meat. This assisted the man in grounding the energy that was rising up in his body a bit more quickly than he could handle.
Instead of pushing through that anxiety or nervous energy, your body might also be asking for rest and sleep. A big part of the ascension process occurs while you are sleeping, giving you time to integrate your growth and increased light. Let yourself rest!
Give yourself space to to play, laugh, dance, sing, make love and have hobbies you enjoy! Or take that action you are being called to do even if you’re feeling anxious, doubtful or insecure about it.
2. You Are a Part of Collective Consciousness
It’s helpful to remind yourself that it’s not just you. Spiritual growth opens your intuitive awareness, that ability to feel outside your own shell. We’ve been trained that we are separate, and as those walls begin to crumble, our innate connection to people and the Earth is experienced more strongly.
It’s important to acknowledge your ability to feel others. We’ve been doing it already, but have built a wall that has given that illusion of separateness. Suddenly being able to more greatly intuit the pulse of the collective, the feelings or thoughts of your loved ones, can be confusing or overwhelming.
It’s easy to think “it’s just you”, as your loved ones may be quite unaware of what they are thinking or feeling.
Acknowledge your growing ability to connect with others, plants, animals and Gaia. You are opening the to the compassion, care and unconditional love inside of you. We all affect each other, quite measurably actually, such as seen in entrainment experiments.
Setting boundaries will assist you in differentiating “you” from others. Spending time alone can give you space to get to know you and you. As you do practices that expand your heart and bring in more light and have you feel centered, you strengthen your ability to know the difference between “your energy” and others. Yes, we are all connected, yet it is in embracing our uniqueness that unity can occur. New Earth isn’t about some kind of intense “group mind” where we are all floating around as One without anything to interact with.
It can be very helpful to set your intention and focus for your day, especially if you are in a service or healing position. If you walk into work without intention, you are open to the twists and turns that the energy of any person coming your way puts out. On the other hand, if you set your energy in the morning with that intention, such as to be of loving service or to be calm and at ease, this keeps you centered, without need to give away your energy or take on the energy of others.
3. Bouncing Back and Forth from 3D to 5D Perspectives
As you try to be a good and right person, you might be finding that what you were taught about reality just isn’t matching to what you’re sensing inside. Yet, you still need and want to function in the traditional world, drive your car, interact with those who aren’t interested in “spiritual awakening”, or pay the bills. Part of you thinks you should be focusing on getting a traditional education or career, make good money, be of service in a way that puts others first and you last, and act a certain way so that others expectations of you are met and so that they feel good when they’re around you. At the same time, you are committed to your spiritual awakening and might be having profound and strange heart-opening and dimensional shifting experiences. You might be drawn to be more authentic, to take care of yourself inside first so that you can shine out your light to the world in service, set boundaries, or take an unconventional heart-inspired path that has no known outcome like success in career or finances.
When challenges around money, health or relationships arise, important decisions need to be made, it’s easy to wonder if the traditional perspective is the correct one to take. You read articles and ask for advice, often solidifying the old reality you are waking up from. This doesn’t have to be an either/or choice. The collective is still primarily in this old reality, and therefore grounded choices do need to be made. Do you need to go to the doctor or is this just an ascension symptom? It’s okay to take both perspectives – if you’re called to go to the doctor, go! You might know you’re done with your current job and are being called to something new, but it’s okay to keep going to that job to be able to pay your bills right now.
Ease up on your process and awakening – it can be a little rocky, up and down, and life paces your process in a way that you can best handle holding more light. Open to the possibility that you are multi-dimensional. This means that you have the ability to shift your consciousness in any moment. One moment you could be communing with nature and talking with the trees, and the next moment be very grounded as you traverse a rocky trail carefully. One moment you are in absolute presence of the bliss of the Now and the next, you need to take care of a time-sensitive task like going to an appointment.
It’s okay to feel tossed around a bit. You’re learning about centering into and opening to your authentic nature! Return to breathing into your heart and know that as your untapped potential is awakening, you’re learning how to navigate it. Your process is about integration. Sometimes it will be sudden changes, endings, shifts, forgetfulness, fogginess and lack of focus or sharp memory recall. Trust that when you really need that focus or memory, like to do your job, it will be there. Have faith that life and the universe, have your back and are supporting you fully, even if it doesn’t look or feel the way you think it should.
4. Opening to New You
Things are changing, inside you and globally, and they’re changing fast. We naturally seek stability and comfort. We are trained to set goals into a future we are creating. During your awakening, you are being asked to let go of what you thought was “you”, and opening to a greater Truth of who you are. Life has a way of assisting you if you resist, as external shifts (in work, home, relationships, health) may force a new perspective for you.
A lot of anxiety can come with the change in your consciousness occurring that is actually such a higher Love Light vibration and a deeper truth about reality. Letting go of who your think you are and your understanding of the world, especially as much of the collective, especially family or friends, still operate in the old density of 3D, can cause a lot of turmoil inside. Do you know what’s true, right or real anymore?
You may be finding yourself at a loss, with old interests falling away yet nothing new showing up. You’re supposed to be active and busy, aren’t you? That active busy feel at odds with an unknown next step could definitely have you feel anxious.
With your new perspective, you might wonder if your loved ones will come with you. If you change, will they still want to hang around with you? The truth is, we never know how long relationships will last or change over time, and this is no different.
Be open, just willing, to acknowledge and experience death. It is part of the great cycle of change, and one most of us don’t want to confront. It’s uncomfortable and the great unknown. Be compassionate about your natural inclination to want to hold onto those things and relationships that you love, and for your desire for stability and things to “get back to normal”. Relax into the knowing that with death always comes the promise of new life.
Study the stages of butterfly, as the caterpillar spends its time wrapped in the darkness of the cocoon.
5. Trauma, Programming and Emotions Bubbling Up
There are few people that get enthusiastic about the idea of their shit coming up. I’m certainly still practicing embracing it. “Woo hoo! There’s another fear, victimization, attachment, insecurity, expectation, belief, automatic reaction, or unresolved experience I get to feel and look at! Ooh, and isn’t it awesome to see how I treat others or myself when I get triggered!” Yeah, a tough one to look forward to, but there it is, asking for your loving attention. It’s been hidden away in the darkness, wanting to return to the One with your loving awareness, your gratitude for its lessons, and your compassion.
This is where setting time aside can really assist you. Once you are going about your day, interacting with others, it can be challenging to give the kind of attention and space that these feelings and memories are asking for. Furthermore, often when things bubble up, you’re in a space where you forgot that what you’re feeling or thinking may not actually be true. A dark cloud can come over you, and as you try to unravel those reactions or feelings, it only serves to solidify them and increase your anxiety. This might be a time to take a break, to put your attention on raising your vibration through any means possible, such as connecting with a friend, watching silly cat videos, taking a walk in nature, getting a massage, drinking more water, completing a needed task like housecleaning or paying bills, doing volunteer work or assisting a friend – anything that feels calming, brings you peace of mind, has you feel good about yourself and life. Yes, it could look like deep breaths or your “spiritual practices”, but sometimes it just means shifting your attention to the good in life and the service that you are to the world, which is plentiful.
By setting aside time to “go there,” you are practicing being able to be aware and loving throughout your day. Setting time aside means starting by doing your practice you are most drawn to right now. Maybe it’s noticing the breath, doing mantras, visualizing, prayer, connecting to your heart, bringing in light and merging with Source and Gaia, calling on divine support, doing yoga, or a myriad of other practices and methods available. You’ve now set the space to be able to address those things that are coming up to be seen and released, not just for yourself but also for the collective. You can now take that loving perspective, hold the space for those things to come up, and see more clearly. Personally, I like to journal. You might like to share with a friend, share with your guides or angels, or use some kind of healing technique on your own or through a practitioner. All you need for your journey is in you and around you, and as you give space to “go there”, the support you need will be right in front of you in that moment.
6. Feeling the Acceleration of the Shift Occurring
It’s just the Shift speeding up, and the Universe is asking you to slow down and center. It’s just energy, and you have choice in how you interpret what it means.
Notice that sped up energy, the thoughts that say you should be doing more, that say you have no time. Notice the habit of pushing through when your call is actually to rest or sleep.
Or, you may want to allow yourself to have this be a challenge you can live up to! The opportunities when the energy and changes are accelerated is an time you can lift up quickly. You can rise to the challenge while you keep your practices in place that keep you centered, grounded and trusting your intuitive guidance.
You have a time-shifting ability you may not be aware of. The ancient Egyptians had a temple devoted to the study of time, from the perspective of how man moves through time. Things can go slower or faster depending on your state of consciousness. You know the “in the zone” feeling when things are flowing and you’re doing what you love – that can make time fly like when you’re doing some artwork. Or when you really want something, enthusiastically but calmly and without attachment – space opens up, time opens up, traffic lights are all green. When you’re feeling anxious, that can make things move quickly yet have things take longer than necessary. I’ve learned that too many times!
Modern science has added another layer to time called “vertical time”. In any given moment, all possibilities exist. Tap into your ability to open to the present moment of vertical time, as compared to the stress and anxiety of living only in horizontal time, always rushing impatiently toward a future or looking back toward what has past. Use your inner natural ability to do so by using your intention, focus in when you slow down into each moment, and choose the possibility of ease, peace, flow and trust in the universe and Divine Plan.
7. Information Overload
This can be both internal and external. As waves of energy and higher frequency come in, you might have insights, guidance, creative ideas and new perspectives appear one after the other. It might feel like there’s so much to remember and do. Creativity is the nature of the universe, and one of the ways to know how creative you actually are is to see all those “unfinished” projects you have – a sign of all those creative ideas!
You are co-creating this New Earth with others. If you have an idea, know that someone else does to. You don’t have to be the one to implement it. Maybe you just plant the seed, or support others in their projects energetically or physically.
Also, know that you don’t need to do everything at once. You can write down your insights, and then just breathe into the moment and do what’s next to be done in this moment, which might be integration through rest and sleep, making dinner, meditating, connecting with others, or being of service out in the world. One step at a time, with cultivating feeling peaceful and centered a priority.
Externally, there is also so much information available more than ever before. You may want to deliberately turn off your phone, stop reading or watching the news, or just take a break from all electronics all together. Getting out into nature is one of the greatest ways to relax into the present moment.
If you have the thought to do something such as stretch, take a walk, meditate, or make that phone call, and think, “I don’t have time!” this might actually be exactly the time to do so.
8. Opening to All Viewpoints and The Void
As your heart opens more and more, you’ll find a desire to respect and honor all viewpoints. It's not that you take them on as your own, but you allow others to have their unique perspectives. Being so open to the new, to change, to different possibilities, might have you feeling like – what the heck do I know anyway? When the dependability of who you thought you were and what you thought reality was starts to break apart, you might wonder what you even have to offer to the world. Furthermore, it can be challenging when you need to make an important decision yet see the validity of different viewpoints.
When your knowledge isn’t fact but merely one possibility, when you know there are so many ways to look at any situation, it can really trigger the insecurity of how you fit in and belong. Someone asks for you advice, and what comes to mind are dozens of ways you could answer their question. There’s not just one correct answer anymore, so what “expertise” do you have to offer anyone? Here’s the cool thing: knowledge really is power, just in a different sense. Being open to so many viewpoints allows you to trust that your mind has taken them all into account and you can now more easily drop into the intuitive, tapped in, higher vibrational intelligence of your heart. Being open might feel empty, yet it is in that emptiness where all pure potential exists.
Being in the present moment in the space of pure love can also feel like a nothingness, an emptiness. It is a sublime space of pure potential, yet with that drive to understand what you’re supposed to be doing, to be productive and responsible, it can be a very uncomfortable space to feel. This is zero point, and just know that each time you experience the present moment fully, you are opening to all possibilities and learning about the true nature of reality and your divine human potential to co-create the world you wish to live in.
Opening to new viewpoints is a wonderful thing! You are embracing diversity and opening your compassionate heart.
In your heart is also your ability to take that mental knowledge, all those perspectives into account, and then use the intelligence of your heart to choose your next step, big or small. You can place your hands on your heart and breathe into your heart, breathing in ease, centering back into the wisdom and intelligence of your heart. This allows better coherence between your heart and your brain, giving you clearer love-based directives.
When you're opening to all viewpoints, let it empower you to most importantly honor your own, to live by your values and trust your choices.
9. Higher Guidance Delivered Through the Ego
I love this one, thanks to Matt Khan. Your soul, your higher self, your guides and angels, all connected to the guidance of Source, are always guiding you toward your highest good, in returning to love, joy and peace.
Let’s say your higher self is supporting you by nudging you to care for your body more. It whispers incessantly, “Eat more vegetables,” or “go for a walk”. What you hear instead it, “Your diet is terrible and you need to lose weight. You have no willpower.” or “You’re so lazy. You really need to get more exercise, loser.”
So each time you have the thought about something that is actually loving guidance to assist you, it only stresses you out and has that anxiety come up that says, “You should be doing more, better, different…” This is because the message from higher guidance is actually being delivered from your ego. Your ego can be kind of harsh and controlling, speaking in rough and bossy tones that just don’t feel good. You might be used to that kind of rough communication, since your parents used it on you as a child to get you into action. As an adult, surely you don’t appreciate being spoken to that way anymore, from a boss, spouse or otherwise.
While your ego really does have your best interest at heart, its controlling nature isn’t serving to motivate you on your spiritual path so much. You can thank your ego, and ask it to be gentler in its communication. When you get that guidance to do something and notice you feel anxious, you can wonder, “If this were a communication from someone who loved me unconditionally just as I am, wasn’t trying to fix me, punish me, or make me feel bad or wrong, what would that communication be?”
You always have choice in how you interpret your feelings and experiences. Just know that you are truly expanding and a part of the shift occurring, and the process you are going through is natural and not always easy. Take care of yourself along your journey. When you feel that anxiety, know it will pass. It’s time to be brave, to take new actions that may seem scary, but do them anyway, for the world needs and is ready for New You!
Photo by Bruno Nascimento on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Along the spiritual path of Awakening, you are asked to allow uncomfortable painful emotions, beliefs, thoughts and memories to come into your consciousness. This is a part of the healing journey, with many ways to accomplish this task. Furthermore, this path is about authenticity and being awake and aware, choosing your interpretations and responses about reality as opposed to operating from those automatic viewpoints and reactions. Clearing out the old makes way for more Light to come into the body. You may feel like you’ve been doing this for so long – enough already! You might have moments us deep connection, bliss, love, peace or joy, only to find yourself reacting to your life in an automatic way, with impatience, frustration, grief, anxiety or anger.
I’ve spent so many years trying to be “ultra” self-aware, noticing when I’d rather escape than confront my feelings (and then choosing to do so!), or when I react to a situation or loved one in a defensive or offensive way. Then these reactions or automatic behaviors would give me more reason to say, “See, you’re not there yet. You’re not doing it right or good enough.”
Boy, do we take this life so dang seriously! Spirituality is often taken as serious business, set with rules and regulations just like at work, in religion or in proper social etiquette. Give me some room to breathe please! We all want freedom. Freedom to be spontaneously ourselves, doing the best we can, making mistakes along the way, knowing that we are a contribution to this planet and can have fun all along our journey here.
Recently I’ve noticed how, in the journey to let all that stuff come up, to follow a path of love and light, it’s easy to make mountains out of molehills. Simplicity is the call, yet we like to make things quite complicated, going on a search for how deeply our thoughts, feelings or actions, our programming, stories and trauma affect our day-to-day experience.
For me, the call now is to lighten up even more. I know what I’m committed to, and I see myself, everyday, veering from that commitment. Then I’ll want to self-analyze, which can often bring me more deeply into that programming that is “in the way” of my commitment. Why? Because I’m still coming into my power, that power within that is intimately connected with everything. Humility isn’t about saying, “Oh, little old me, I can’t possibility do or be that. I don’t deserve it. I’m not good enough. I don’t want to be egotistical.” Humility is admitting that yes, the separate you that you think you are (aka the ego) is powerless, but inside you is the power of the Divine, of the One that you are always connected to. It’s a willingness to give up that separation and merge with a power greater than just little old separate you. You know, the one that thinks they need to do whatever it takes to make it happen, to work hard and be in control at all times.
So in the name of clearing, it’s easy to “work hard”, to go on a harangue about those things that come up that have us continue habits we know no longer support us or reactions that are based in fear, lack and separation. Don’t get me wrong, it can be very fun, enlightening and entertaining to do so, the best choice in the moment, and it’s okay when you choose to! It can remind you and point you back to that trajectory of where you want to go.
Once you’ve shined the light on those things that have been running you, had the willingness to bring unconditional love to those things, feelings, thoughts and memories that have you feel alone, treated unjustly, traumatized, angry, insignificant, not enough, broken or weak, you can send them back into the Light of Source where they belong, into wholeness and peace.
So you’ve done that, and yet there’s more, more reactions, more programming of how reality is even though you know better, more automatic responses and habits. Why are they still there? Am I doing it wrong? I’d better work harder!
You don’t need to keep going there, thinking, “Oh gosh, I have so much more to do, to confront, to clear, to be aware of, to grow…I’m not “there” yet.” That just is keeping you in a loop of exactly what you’re wanting to “clear” – those fears that keep you separated from your divine spark inside, the one that is free to be empowered and enjoy the ride.
Here’s the thing: you are a creator, totally empowered. You are a Master who came here in this time to be a part of creating New Earth. Therefore, you’ve got what it takes, baby! You’ve got this, whether you believe it or not. You’re doing it exactly as you need to, and it’s all unfolding just right.
I noticed the other day a friend talking about his challenges around making money and having financial abundance. He went on about his focus of thought, where his attention was and how he was interpreting reality, his family dynamics and money conversation within his family, etc. It was funny, because he talked like those things were “running” him in his subconscious, yet he was clearly actually consciously aware of it. I saw how I do that too, think that things are running me unconsciously even as I’m very aware of them!
This is all wonderful stuff, to bring things into your awareness. Yet I realized there comes a point when it’s time to let it go. Yeah, yeah, there it is again, and I don’t need to go there! In the past, I would have almost said that blasphemy – if it is presenting in your reality, you need to go there. But do you? And if so, how?
I’ve taken on a simple practice that you might want to try. If you find yourself going on a harangue about something, you could just Lighten Up! You can use that God-given power of yours, the one that isn’t trying to fix anything or obliterate the “bad” from your reality, but the one that is unconditionally loving and is choosing what reality they are living in.
You notice that thought, interpretation of what’s happening, and say, “Thank you, but no.”
That’s it, “Thank you, but no.” You’re not pushing down or escaping from the thought or feeling that has arisen – you’ve already just noticed it with a commitment to loving whatever arises, even when it doesn't feel good. It’s not a heart-breaking rejection or emotionally charged judgment. It’s choosing, like when the waiter asks, “Would you like dessert?” and you respond, “Thank you, but no.” (Sure you could go on a run with that one, as you might notice the idea of dessert sounds yummy, and in come the thoughts about your diet, health, ideal weight, social standards of beauty, your values around eating and your commitment….but in that restaurant in that moment, you are clear about what you want and don’t want, and you simply say to the waiter, “Thank you, but no.”)
Recently, I noticed I felt anxious in my tummy, that solar plexus area. I went there, realizing it was because I was about to teach a cardio kickboxing class, something I hadn’t done in over a decade. Will I be good enough? Will they like it, me, the workout, the music? Will they have fun and enjoy it? Will it be too easy, too hard, to fast, to slow? I noticed I do that with another type of workout I teach, Nia Technique. I noticed that feeling of not good enough, of never enough, in my teaching, and then my thoughts starting to trickle out into other aspects of me and my life, like how my clothing is never quite right, cute enough, fit just right, etc.
I saw how there it was yet again: never good enough, I’m not enough, that feeling of separation and not enough. That deepest darkest core wound, “I’m not enough.” Here’s the thing: that awareness alone, something I’ve been delving into for a long time, wasn’t actually serving to alleviate that anxiety, to align me with a greater Truth.
So, instead of my usual, “You need to go there, with loving attention. This wants your loving attention,” I said, “Thank you, but no.” I like to add a little wave with my right hand near my head (real or imaginary), waving that out and away, back to the Light of Source. You can do this for anything – when you notice even deeper programming, trauma, or timeloops.
What happened next was so natural and easy. Present, here and now, space opened up. I thought and wrote spontaneously, (and I quote from my journal), “I choose unity. Thank you for pointing out that I still have feelings of scarcity and separation, and no, I don’t need that anymore. I choose connection. So when I go out into the world, through teaching, writing or whatever, I CONNECT with others, I share authentically my experience and self-expression, knowing our hearts touch because we are all connected. I choose to unify and merge with Mother Earth and Source God, the Divine in me, One with All. I am safe to allow this connection. In my trust and safety, I allow others to confront their fear and separation, and to open their hearts to connecting and merging. Yes! All as an expression of the One Divine Source Love!”
Gratitude washed over me, in so many specific ways, and the goal of teaching became to have FUN! And then I noticed: that anxiety in my solar plexus was completely gone.
Here’s what I want you to get: Yes, that self-awareness was there, that ability to notice thoughts and feelings, but the shift in my perspective didn’t come from working hard to put all those high vibe practices and perspectives into place. Thank you to those thoughts and feelings for coming up of course, a perfect part of the process as they release out, returning to the Light. My shift came from the willingness to stand in my power and make the simple command: “Thank you, but no.” Our souls already know the way, we just need to admit it can be easier than we think and relax a little.
Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
Along the spiritual path, there comes a point where you realize that spirituality can feel like any other endeavor, the same as any other goal-oriented path, such as a career.
The below musings are not to make any of this wrong. Aren’t you so tired of right and wrong? There’s gotta be another way and we’re getting there more and more! Along your path, you are learning discernment, how to distinguish Truth from the illusion of separation and fear. And the list below is what I’ve noticed, sure in others, and most often in myself.
Being aware of how that density of separation and doubt shows up allows you to have new openings, options and choices. So let yourself just take a look at the below discussion on the spiritual ego with an open mind, using it to cut yourself and others some slack, to be more compassionate, and to have even more freedom to choose love, peace and joy, to awaken and grow because of it. I hope sharing my authentic experience contributes to your journey.
What the heck does that mean? Well, it’s spirituality seeped in judgment, separation, fear and lack. It’s that need to control yourself and others, wrapped in the “spiritual” aspect of your life. Judging yourself or others for being in that spot is just more of the same, of course. It’s a part of the awakening process, to go through this phase. In fact, it’s called, “being human”. So it’s not like, “Oh my God, I’m guilty of being spiritually egotistical!” It’s just a good thing to notice, that’s all. Then you’re free to choose a different way. While this stage of spiritual growth is part of the spiritual awakening path, the path isn’t a straight line or step-by-step process necessarily, it’s an adventure, with twists and turns, mountains and valleys.
1. The Spirituality Police
Religion is the best example of this. All religions have a base of Truth, of Unconditional Love. Religions include methods of controlling ones actions and behaviors, set inside of rules, commandments and divisions. These become an easy means for the ego to come out to play, which it must, so we can be more aware of it.
*Warning: the following are some musings on Christianity. If you’re not interested, skip it. As with anything, take what resonates and makes a difference for you, and leave the rest.
While I’ve practiced and studied many religions, I was raised Catholic. So it starts with this really pure unconditionally loving God, who creates the universe from that Light of Divine Love. God creates Adam and Eve, and they’re all blissed out and connected. Ah, but then they eat the apple and forget they are connected to God. They think they’re separate, and now with self-awareness experienced as separate-from, go right into judgment. Cover up that body! In their forgetting, they are cast into a world that is separate from God, where there are dangers at every turn, so much to fear. That place inside them that feels separate desperately wants to connect back, to fill in that sense of “something missing” and “not enough”. So humans start to fight, kill, steal, pillage, rape, control, have power over, compete and just generally feel kinda crappy. God offers some solace with the Ten Commandments. “Hey, there’s only ten. Really, you’ll feel better and remember our connection if you just follow these. I love you and want you to have fun and take care of each other and the Earth as you use your free will to expand My creations with that creative force inside of you (aka the Light of Me!).”
In comes Jesus, a guy seeped in that yummy diamond Love Light of Christ Consciousness, remembering and sharing the Truth of Who We Really Are. By living example, he says, (and I paraphrase of course), “Come on now, my sweet family. We’re all brothers and sisters, children of Source God, don’t you remember? It’s time to wake up!” He even shows us that our fears, pain and separation are such an illusion that he willingly suffers tremendously on the cross before he dies, only to resurrect, because he wanted to demonstrate to us, “No matter how much you suffer, or see others suffer, if you know in your heart the Truth, you will awaken Eternal because you Remember who you are.”
Then, the various books in the Bible are written, channeled if you will. Yet over time, the messages become entangled in fear, separation and lack by some very power hungry forget-full people. Books and passages are edited or removed entirely, and the Bible today is left as a partial truth. An eternally loving God becomes one to be feared. Do we even know what unconditional love means anymore? The message becomes: follow these rules or you are bad and wrong. Original sin, that apple in Eden that had you forget your eternal Oneness and connection with God, becomes reason to judge the hell out of (or is it into?) everyone that’s not doing it right, including you. And there is only One way to do it right. If not, no biggie, you’ll just spend eternity in pain and suffering. Then religion gives reason to fight and kill over, to judge and cast out the sinners, and to insert even more fear and lack in the world.
Other religions have their rules and commandments too, of course. All started out as loving guidelines, such as Buddhist, Islam and Hindu, only to become reason to create strict rules and limitations on your behaviors to attain enlightenment or be a good and right person.
It’s easy to use spiritual principles, such as to be loving, compassionate, caring, forgiving, mindful, aware, calm, centered or peaceful to police our thoughts, words and actions – or those of others. These principles become strict laws that deserve punishment if they are not obeyed, and must be protected and defended. There’s karma after all, which can easily be interpreted as punishment. You focus an eagle eye on negative thoughts. Because words have power, you try to control every thought you think and word that comes out of your mouth. You try your best to speak and act in a way that pleases others, only to find that they still respond sometimes with upset, offense or just plain old don’t like you. There’s not much freedom to be, to just do your best and make mistakes along the way.
Maybe you find a guru, coach, spiritual teacher, yoga instructor, author, or healer, whom you think is “higher” than you spiritually. You hold them up to some standard of living, eating, speaking, acting or relating in the world, only to knock them down when they act like, well, a human.
You might find yourself policing others, lecturing, correcting and pointing out their behaviors that you deem as incorrect, even though they didn’t ask. Yes, of course there are times that you see abuse and harm in the world and are called to act, and consider it is possible to do so from a place of loving compassion and love for All, including those doing the harm.
Spiritual awakening is expansive. Can you feel the difference between that constricting box of ways you’re supposed to be, act, think and feel compared to the heart-opening experience in those times you are present to greater truth of the compassionate Light around and within you?
2. Spiritual Comparison & Righteousness
You’ve found something that really calls your heart, that which is assisting you in connecting with a higher truth, with Source, and the Divine in You and All. You know the difference it’s making for you, and want others to have benefit too. In your enthusiasm, you start to compare and judge other forms of spirituality. One type of spiritual process, practice, religion, teacher or viewpoint is better than the other. You’ve connected with and a part of an awesome group of spiritually minded people, yet it becomes exclusive, like your group is better, more evolved, more aware, or more in Truth than those not a part of it. You’ve found a way to connect in, and notice that others are clueless, suffering and complaining. Those poor ignorant souls.
If you’re in the Awakening or Ascension process conversation, clearly you’re more evolved than other people, or at least there’s a feeling of righteousness about the path or practice you’ve found. You judge all those “3D” people out there, so stuck in that fear and separation. You cherry pick whom you’ll hang out with, lest they lower your vibe. Maybe you have your story, “When I had my awakening...,” forgetting that it’s an eternal process and game, and we’re all Divine here, each on our own Mastery path.
Conversely, you’ve spent years or decades on the spiritual path, only to feel you’re “not there yet”. You must be broken or something. You use spirituality and spiritual practice as a discipline that if you’re not following to the tee at all times, if you notice you’re reactive, doubtful, frustrated, judgmental, uncertain, unclear, don’t do your morning meditation, or get angry with a loved one, you’re not doing it right. You look at others spiritual experiences and think if you’re not having that experience too, you must not be doing enough or doing it right.
There’s a freedom that comes with allowing diversity. We learn, support and grow from each other, yet each of us has a unique path and perspective, no better nor worse that another. Discerning what works for you and what doesn’t takes the judgment out of the equation. Offers are made, and you can simply say, “Yes, please,” or “No, thank you.” People ebb and flow in and out of your life, things light you up or they don’t, and a natural flow with the Divine Plan occurs more easily.
3. Spiritual Superstition
Most superstitions come with the pre-supposition that reality is something we have no control over. Be it for better or for worse. So we use those superstitions to try to control what we actually have no control over. There’s that forgetfulness that you’re on a team, that all is Source Consciousness and interconnected.
For example, you got that “aha moment” that you create your reality, and now everything becomes your responsibility in the sense that if it’s in your reality, you created it: you and you alone. You forgot about trusting the Divine Plan, and the ego says, “You need to control your reality,” as compared to, “You are a part of a web of creation, given a gift of an ability to co-create a reality with the Universe that serves All.” You find yourself blaming and shaming yourself or others for creating bad, hurtful or painful things and say, “Well, what did you do to create that?” An anxiety comes from that Law of Attraction you heard about. If you don’t have the reality you want, you must have something in that subconscious of yours that is sabotaging you, so you’d better work harder to get into the Vortex.
Another superstition is regarding the evil that is out to get you – those psychic vampires, energetic cords, hexes, others bad vibes, or beings without bodies (at least not human…). This can easily be quite fear-based. Demons disguised as angels – watch out!
I have learned and practiced many methods of clearing space, within and without, and know that love is the most powerful force in the universe. Divine love is the Divine Protector, and as you awaken more and more to your eternal nature, you’ll find there’s really nothing you need to control or protect yourself from. Instead, you can take the viewpoint of being a caretaker of yourself and the planet.
4. Using Spirituality to Fix the World
You’ve discovered there’s a bigger picture. You’re getting unplugged from the Matrix. You’re seeing how you’ve been indoctrinated into a reality that is an illusion. You’re waking up to new possibilities that make the world a place where everyone is respected and deeply cared for. Yippee!
You also see all that’s NOT that: the pain, the suffering, the abuse, the cruelty, the lies, and the deceptions. You delve into everything that’s wrong with the world and how it needs to fixed: chemtrails, the government, animal abuse, human abuse and violence, injustice, pollution, clear-cutting and much more. There’s evil out there, and it must be exposed and obliterated. You must protect yourself, your loved ones, and the planet.
You need to fix other peoples pain and suffering, as if you can control their experience (a tough one to learn as a healer – that you can offer, and they’re the ones allowing it in or not). There’s an inequality there, helping and fixing those poor souls below you that need your help.
Hmmm, all that indignation, anger and fear…wait - isn’t that what your spiritual practice is awakening you from? Is more of the same – the world is bad, dangerous and wrong and needs to be fixed – really going to get us there? (Note – some call this “Spiritual Activism”, an important part of our growing process we all go through.)
You’ll start to find that there are choice points that lead you into a different reality in any moment. In a reality of infinite possibility, what reality do you choose to live in right now? Great! Now act in a way that matches that reality. This is the power of your consciousness, of your multi-dimensionality. You’re waking up from the belief there is one reality (aka 3rd dimensional consciousness), one set way that things play out, based on linear time.
5. Compartmentalizing Spirituality
You’re on the spiritual path and now there are ways you’re supposed to live that are spiritual. Anything else is well, not. You have a list of what’s spiritual and what isn’t, and can struggle because, hey, you still need to poop, work, drive, or care for your family. You want that glass of wine or piece of cake, or you enjoy your TV series binge-watching.
Conversely, you may do a spiritual practice or go to church on Sundays, and then leave the rest of your time (95%+) as “free” time. I meditated this morning, and now I go about my day as usual, on a kind of automatic.
Here’s the thing: It’s all spiritual. We are spiritual beings having this human experience. Your dedication to your awakening process is 24/7, a commitment to shifting the way you, and thus the collective, experience reality through shifting your consciousness. Any deliberate time set apart from our “normal” activities, such as meditation, is practice time for what you bring into the rest of your day. With a forgiving and compassionate heart, you can more easily see and make choices that support your values and intentions, and enjoy the ride all along the way.
6. Spiritual Attachments, Demands and Expectations
This is a “what’s in it for me” attitude. The ego wants to take care of you, to make sure you’re safe and thriving, or at least surviving, and maybe even comfortable. It’s goal-oriented. Without the promise of heaven, enlightment, Nirvana, 5th dimensional consciousness or New Earth, what’s the point?
You do your practices, prayer or clearings, waiting for payday. If you don’t get paid (in health, happiness, relationships, prosperity, peace of mind, or resolution/release of deep-seated beliefs that have us react rather than respond to life), you feel like it’s an unjust world. Surely you’ve earned this already! Tick, tock universe, I want that free two-day shipping!
Or maybe you’ve used spirituality to bargain. If you please heal my loved one, I promise to be a better person.
It’s also easy to be attached to experiencing life in a certain way. If I’m spiritual, I should feel vibrantly healthy, blissed out, connected, happy, joyful and/or peaceful all the time, shouldn’t I? Maybe you continue to seek that next high, not much different than using drugs, food or shopping. You could even be attached to experiencing non-attachment or non-duality, as crazy as that sounds.
This is why wisdom traditions and religions emphasize peace. Buddhism’s path to peace is through non-attachment. Peace comes in the present moment, when you decide and feel that all is well right now, regardless of circumstance, even as you envision and take action on a better world for yourself and all.
The spiritual ego wants it, and wants it now. Consider that the universe has your back, that there really is divine timing and life knows what it's doing. That means that you'll have what you envision possible (even better than you imagined), and at the perfect time - and that time just isn't right now. Right now, you might not have what you want, but you have exactly what you need for your highest good.
What if it’s all set up perfectly, and it’s okay to have rough times? What if your greatest challenges are the ones that propel you most in your awakening?
I’m sure you’ll have insights of other ways the spiritual ego likes to come out and play. Trying to “get rid” of the ego? Oops, that part of the spiritual ego talkin’ don’t ya know? Nothing on this list is bad or wrong, it just wants your attention of discernment infused with unconditional love. There’s a reason it’s been said that a great quality to have is to be able to laugh at yourself! “Oops, yep, I’ve done that one!”
When you notice the ego at play, it gives an opportunity to shift in that moment as well as to better distinguish the experience of separation and fear from the experience of unity and love. It gives an opportunity to breathe and say, “Thank you for the lesson! Everything is here to assist me!” All is well, all part of the divine plan unfolding, presenting one superbly perfect step at a time.
It's not just you, my beloved. The world is transforming and we're all in this together. You are a master and expert in your unique experiences and contribution to the world. Together we'll navigate through these challenging yet oh so juicy and magical times.