by Julianne Kulosa
One of our greatest challenges can show up when our loved ones are suffering. In our deep care, love and desire to be of service, feelings of helplessness, sorrow, frustration, blame or even anger can arise. You might notice you want to fix them, lecture them, match their energetic state because you think it will make it better for them somehow, save them or just wrap your hands around their neck and say, “Wake up! Can’t you see how you can feel better?”
It’s often easier when a loved one is suffering due to an “external” circumstance: a car accident, a death of a loved one, illness, a job loss, unexpected financial burdens or some sort of stress caused in their external environment. Personally, I know that suffering is not caused from any situation or experience. Crappy things happen that don’t feel good, yes. However, the suffering I am speaking of is not caused from situations, rather from our misinterpretations of the nature of reality and ourselves. You’ve surely heard many stories of people thriving, loving, laughing, connecting and feeling gratitude and peace in the most painful of situations, such as in concentration camps. Also, it is also in times of crisis that people shine out most, connecting with their community and families to love and support each other.
Some things to consider when a loved one is suffering:
1. Your Loved One is a Master of Their Life.
No one knows better then your loved one how to traverse their own unique path. You can support them in remembering their own mastery. You can empower them by gifting them with their own path. They’ll take your offer of support, help or advice, or they won’t. It matters not, because it’s not about you, it’s about them. Your loving attention, your compassion, your belief in their ability to come through their suffering, is the most powerful support you can give them. If you reflect on your own life, you might notice that it was your greatest challenges that propelled you to rise up, grow, expand and learn. Don’t you want the same for them? It’s not easy to watch them suffer, especially when you can see the way out of suffering for them, yet this is the path they’ve chosen, and only they can walk it.
2. Forgive Them, They Know Not What They Do.
Forgiveness is a powerful tool. This means you are willing to acknowledge that someone is absolutely doing the best they know how, given their state of consciousness at any given time. If you were in their mindset, you too, would behave and experience reality exactly as they are. This forgiveness is not about their actions, but about authentically feeling compassion for them, even if you completely disagree with their choices.
3. Give Your Full Attention.
Put away all distractions and just be present with your loved one. This means not only external distractions like your phone, but internal as well. With each passing year of our busy information age, focused attention is becoming more of a commodity. Listen more. Talk less. Your loved one may or may not want to feel better in the moment. Maybe they just want to vent and complain, and that outlet for their thoughts and feelings might be exactly what they need in the moment. Did they actually ask you for your advice or opinion? Notice your own thoughts while listening: are you analyzing, thinking how to fix their situation or judging them? Take a breath, drop into your heart, and simply give them your full loving attention. Often what someone needs when they’re in a great challenge or crisis is to be comforted and loved.
4. Take Care of Yourself.
Sometimes your own biggest stressor can be in response to a loved one in pain. While taking care of yourself isn’t “number one” in this list, it may well be your most important move when it comes to supporting your loved one. Take time to notice your own response to the suffering of others. This could be a loved one, or something occurring locally or globally. Be honest with your own reactions, thoughts and feelings. Bring compassion and forgiveness to yourself as the witness of others suffering. When you feel stressed, you can only contribute so much to your loved ones. Do whatever you need to shine brightly. Your calm, peaceful and loving energy will be felt by others without you needing to do or say anything. Your heart-centered care gives you a clearer ability to use intelligent concern rather than feel reactive or stressed.
5. Trust Yourself.
In trying to assist a loved one, it can be challenging to know what your best move is that will support them. Should you walk away, be positive and optimistic, agree with them, disagree with them, be gentle or a little rougher, help them, or have them do it on their own? There’s no right answer, for each person needs support in different ways at different times. Not trusting your own choices certainly won’t support them. Know that you are a loving, caring, powerful person and you, too, are doing the best that you can. That is more than enough!
Trusting yourself also means standing in your own truth. Your loved one doesn’t have to agree with you, and you can be radically authentic in your own truth while being loving and compassionate at the same time. You don’t need to compromise your beliefs in order to help others. If you know in you bones and heart that they can heal their bodies, find the perfect job or home, thrive and have their dreams come true, you can stay solid in your knowing despite their disagreement or proof that says otherwise. You don’t need to argue your point or necessarily even say it aloud, but you also don’t need to give it up. Holding your authentic vision is transformative and of great contribution.
6. Envision Their Success.
There are many ways to energetically support a loved one, such as prayer, sending blessings, or using visualization techniques. Remember that they have their own free will, and your support is not forced upon them, taken only if their souls truly want it.
In a relaxed and calm state, imagine that your loved one has come through the other side of their challenge. Use your senses, sight, sound, feeling, to envision in the present moment their success and happiness. Notice, in the present moment, how they are feeling, talking and acting from this accomplishment. Notice how you feel witnessing their triumph and things working out for them. In alignment with their free will and the highest good of all, let that now go out into the universe to manifest, maybe even better than you could imagine on your own.
If you’re the type of person (and most of us are!) who wants to fix other people’s problems, this is a great way to use that desire without disempowering your loved one or feeling upset if they don’t take your advice. We really are all connected, and your powerful ability to create can be used to shift the experience of others if this is truly what their own soul desires.
Know that your love is the greatest support you can give to your loved ones. Your unwavering love, the true greeting of Namaste, that love that sees the beauty and divine perfection of your beloved in all their moods, thoughts and reactions, contributes and transforms their suffering, whether you see evidence of that in the moment or not.
Photo by Cristian Newman on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
These updates are a description of my personal insights and experiences. We are all connected and in truth One Heart, so I share this with you to let you know what you are experiencing, in your unique way, is happening in the collective and that we are all in this together. All that you do truly serves all willing hearts and Gaia.
Things are heating up, literally and figuratively. Lion’s gate occurs each year on August 8th, holding the energies of fire, lion and the number 8. It is an energy presenting that supports claiming your true heart and soul’s empowerment. It can also bring up issues, especially in the 3rd chakra, around power struggles, the ego’s need to control, and self-doubt.
The New Moon and Partial Solar Eclipse on August 11th offers even more support for our upliftment and that heart-centered spiritual warrior energy that says, “I call forth...I command…I am committed, grounded and in union with Divine Will.”
There is so much support this month to release old habits that are outdated and no longer serve your soul’s desire and mission. You know what these are, as when you notice them, you notice you are not uplifted, happy, peaceful or joyful when operating in them (or at least afterward).
You may be drawn to shift some habits, big or small. Cultivating a willingness to be honest with yourself, to notice these habits, notice the pull and draw of them, is a powerful shift in and of itself. It sort of feels like the pull of the Dark Side, the habit of interpreting things as bad and wrong the way they are, and then going into fear, complaint, anxiety, tension, helplessness or anger. You’ll notice that the pull, while still presenting, loses its power, as staying committed to trusting Life, connecting to your divine nature, and reaching up to a higher vibration becomes more of the norm.
A different approach to those outdated habits, beliefs and thoughts is called for this month.
The ego is not something to control, for the need to control is the ego in action. Instead, know that whatever arises is actually presenting to be released from its false prison of separation back into the oneness of Light and Source. You can ease the ego’s need to find problems and dangers by bringing those denser emotions, stress and upset (especially present in the Solar Plexus 3rd Chakra) into your heart. The ego wants safety, and truly your power lies in allowing your heart and soul, connected with Source, to embrace the part of you that still believes your are alone, outcast, unwanted, not enough, unsafe and unloved.
Simply be willing to try on that when upsetting feelings, actions or words occur in your reality from within or without, they are actually coming into the Light! They are being released. There is nowhere to get to but right here and now, and with your loving compassionate attention, breathing in ease and peace, all is truly well.
Forgiveness and compassion, like in July, are still on the table this month. These powerful practices naturally open the space for true gratitude and appreciation.
August is also a time of strong building energy of the “New You” presenting. Strange experiences around time may be occurring as timelines shift and offer new higher possibilities for yourself and the world. You may be feeling, with a sense of anticipation yet mystery, “Something is changing,” “Something new is coming.” Let go of the pressure of time and space that says to hurry up, or that a window of opportunity will close if you don’t do something now. Instead, if you know the change you wish to experience, declare is already done, see it already done, and entrust it to the Universe to manifest even better than you could imagine alone. If you are uncertain of the changes ahead yet can feel them presenting, ask the Universe to guide and show you the way. Follow the guidance of your heart, even if scary, new and unknown.
Just because opportunities arise doesn’t mean you need to take them. Check in with your heart and be honest with how you feel about what is being offered. Your emotional body and responses, when centered in connection with your heart and soul, can be trusted. Your willingness to face your old habits with loving attention and commitment to a higher timeline that serves the greatest good for all will call you into the new. The new may not be a huge change, such as in where you live, your career or your relationships. Any small change, seemingly insignificant even, shifts the whole.
Enjoy the mystery and pleasant surprise of unfolding in the new this month. Dedicate yourself to your highest vision and values, with an openness to experiencing new and unknown territory. As you do, the magical adventure of life grounds into being “normal”, as you walk this earth in love, reverence and service to All – all of you, all of your experiences, Gaia, humanity, and all beings everywhere.
If drawn, use the energies of fire and water, the cleansing and transmuting energy available in both, such as the Violet Flame, being in water or near water.
(Regarding the Violet Flame, and the keepers of the flame, St. Germain and Archangel Zadkiel:
There are various ways to invoke the Violet Flame. No one way is better than another. I recommend doing a search on YouTube and following the pull of your heart and intuition as to which one to try.)
Photo by Ivan Diaz on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
As we approached the Lunar Eclipse last week, I knew that the boulders on the mountain a group of us planned to be on that day had something to share with me.
Walking up to a peak, I was feeling calm, enthusiastic and playful.
Sitting on one of the boulders, surrounded in redwood trees, I placed my hands on the boulder and closed my eyes. I was surprised to feel a very intense vibration coming from the boulder, that buzzing vibrating feel. I expected to feel a grounded, heavy, solid, strong and stable energy – you know, like a rock!
The boulder shared with me about the vulnerability of the earth.
“The vulnerability?” I thought. Sure, I’ve understood that we are all connected, that the earth herself is going through what we are, and how we affect the earth not just physically but also energetically. However, I had it that Gaia, a powerful amazing being, could take care of herself. She’s already in fifth dimensional consciousness. If we’d just live more sustainably, she’ll take care of her own healing.
After the boulder spoke, I was drawn to bring in light, to breathe into my heart and call forth pure divine light and send it and my love into this boulder and into the core of Gaia.
Almost immediately, the energy of the boulder shifted. No more buzzy vibration, but instead, it became calm, peaceful, solid and grounded.
This powerful experience reminds me that we very much have a responsibility as caretakers of our beloved Gaia.
Gaia is “at effect” of the consciousness of humanity. She is in the ever present now moment, and does not operate the same as we do in our consciousness. She lives in the natural truth of reality, while we use our free will to choose where our attention is, how we interpret reality and what reality we choose to live in moment by moment.
In these extremely intense and transformational times, it’s easy to be pulled into the density of separation, scarcity, judgment and fear. When we ourselves are feeling the effect of that, be it anxiety, anger or other dense emotions (and taking them on as “truth” instead of just letting them flow through), we are giving this energy to the earth.
Want to have a pulse on humanity and the collective consciousness on the planet? You need only look to what is happening in nature. She’s doing her best to “let off steam”, such as through earthquakes, fires and volcanic activity. She’s extremely strong, and also highly sensitive.
Being a caretaker of the earth means to tread lightly, in all ways. One way we can powerfully support our home is to literally bring in more light. This is the light of unconditional love, of Source, of deep compassion, care and peace.
Our bodies, too, are earth, so we may be drawn to consume lightly, be it in use of resources or in the way we eat.
Truly, love and light are our most powerful resources in co-creating New Earth. She needs us as much as we need her. With a willingness to merge and unify with her, to take personal responsibility for our world and reality, we become the stewards of our beloved home.
Photo by Chris Angel on Unsplash
by Julianne Kulosa
The powerful energy presenting now is very supportive in our ascension process. It can be used to propel us into greater states of ease, flow, peace, gratitude, trust, abundance and well-being. However, it is a propelling energy, and therefore can be used to go deeper into the density of fear, anger, helplessness and anxiety.
Therefore this time is calling us to choose powerfully, moment by moment.
It matters not what is occurring in your reality. What matters is your interpretation of any events, internal or external, that are happening now.
It is your divinely given freedom and power to choose the reality you wish to live in.
Why are things challenging, filled with pain or loss, such fear, anger, hate or abuse?
These things are experienced to propel you to choose a different reality. This is done with your consciousness: your ability to choose and interpret the reality you live in.
Science says observation, concrete measurable repeatable observation, shows us reality. However, it is the observer and where their attention is, what their expectations and beliefs are, that create that reality. This has been shown time and again by the placebo effect as well as experiments in which the experimenter has a theory or hypothesis and the results of that experiment depend on the outcome the experimenter expects to see.
We think our beliefs are based on evidence, but the truth is, we believe something and then gather the evidence to back the belief. Seek and ye shall find, and, just to make the game more challenging, in this time there are a lot of false and partial truths to gather as your "evidence". Within you is your ability to use spiritual discernment to find Divine Truth, one of connection, unity, love and abundance for all.
Right now, use your power of choice to look for, see and feel the reality you wish to live in. Dig into how you want to experience reality. How you want to feel. Instead of goals, such as no physical illness or more money, focus on your state of being, such as vibrant health and abundance. Keep your eyes on the divine at all times, and in truth, you will experience those high vibe New Earth states, no matter the circumstance.
Let the rest wash over you, give it to Source, thanking it for propelling you to choose higher vibrational thoughts and emotions. Love is the call, and with it, compassion and forgiveness.
That compassion will soften your view, allowing you to more easily access peace and trust. Things stay around as long as they need to and we truly are all doing the best we can, so be compassionate with yourself and others.
This is time of great empowerment and awakening, of magic and miracles, and can truly be used to create the reality and world you wish to live in. Imagine the future you are living into and feel it right here, right now.
This is the call, and when you feel the density inside pulling you down, you can say, “Aha, thank you! I choose love, I choose trust, I choose…” Choose to put your attention on what you want rather than what you don’t want, and as you do so, you transform the world into a better place for All, assisting all willing hearts to awaken into the truth of reality and who they are.
This is not complicated, though our minds like to make things quite complex. Your heart knows the way. Breathe into your heart, your full attention in your heart, and call forth what you are wanting, be it ease, peace, connection or support. Here is a simple technique from HeartMath you can use anytime you’re experiencing those stressful feelings and reactions.
It's not just you, my beloved. The world is transforming and we're all in this together. You are a master and expert in your unique experiences and contribution to the world. Together we'll navigate through these challenging yet oh so juicy and magical times.